More Craziness

Okay, as usual it took all morning to do this post. It's a crazy life. But we're surviving. This was over a week ago when Annaliese still had some jaundice, but I just couldn't believe that her hair got so curly when it's wet. Kalia's never did that, so we'll see if that means anything in the future.

Well, I am having MAJOR strong cravings...for french bread (I eat like, half a loaf a day) and cookie dough ice cream, and LOFTHOUSE COOKIES. BaD BaD I know, but I'm indulging anyway.

The funny part happened this morning. I was trying to upload pictures here and I turn around and guess who discovered my stash....

The part I haven't figured out yet is how she got them off the kitchen counter. I'm totally baffled. I found crumbs in her bedroom and in the living room in several places, including all over the bouncy chair. (Maybe she shared with Annaliese?) Seriously, you turn around for ONE MINUTE...


I took this picture yesterday.

Annaliese is staying awake more now, for about an hour at a time. She really likes to be held, meaning she stops crying as soon as I pick her up. I am getting good use out of a NoJo Babysling that someone gave me. It held her in even when I was bathing Kalia and washing her hair.

I think she just went through a growth spurt, my milk supply just shot up. Saturday night we sang at our stake conference, and in the three hours that we were gone I felt my milk let down SIX TIMES! What the heck!

Samuel is finally getting to bond with baby. I think I've been hogging her. I just love this tiny newborn stage, it passed too quickly the first time.

I forgot to mention that my mom was here for several days (her hair is growing back, it looks pretty good, eh? She's going to bleach it soon.) Anyway, I just could not believe how wonderful it felt to be taken care of and waited on like that. She not only cooked and helped with the girls but she sewed/mended anything I could find for her, and she scrubbed my apartment from top to bottom and I just hope she knows how grateful I am for her help and I had a great time chatting with her all day. (And I cried when she left.)

We're still working on proper baby etiquette, and here she is giving her a little eye poke.

And, last but not least, the little stinker made my morning by performing this dance. I'm glad we have this Dora on DVR so that she can watch it (and dance) to her heart's content.

I am Thankful

When I started this post, I had just spent my first day alone with both girls. Things went so well. Kalia was perfect. Annaliese slept most of the day and only woke up to eat and get changed. When one of them needed me, the other one didn't. My stitches didn't hurt at all. I got a nap and a hot bath. I was feeling so proud of myself, that clearly I could handle two kids, no problem.

Then I have a day like today, where Kalia can't stop whining, and everything she touches turns into a mess. Annaliese seems to have lots of gas today. They both seem to need me at the same time. I smell like spit-up and my stitches are hurting a lot. I had to call Samuel to come home and help me for a little bit. It was just a hard day.

That's when I decided it was probably more important than ever to remember some of the things that I am grateful for. I shouldn't expect every day to be so easy, after all, that wouldn't teach me the "opposition in all things" lesson, and plus, obviously it would go to my head and I would be prideful. So, here's to hoping for a better day tomorrow. And here are a few things to remember, just in case tomorrow isn't much better.I'm grateful that...


1. At least Kalia likes her sister. She gets excited whenever she sees her, and sometimes she starts crying when she hears her little sister cry. And she is even generous enough to share "her" swing.
2. Annaliese has been a great breastfeeder. I wish I could take credit, but she came out knowing exactly what to do with her little mouth so that I haven't had to experience the blisters and the pain that can come along with breastfeeding. That's been a real blessing.

3. I'm grateful for Emily Y. I visit teach her, but she's done way more for me than I've ever done for her. She sent over a "goody bag" full of herbal remedies for me and Kalia (who has a croupy cough) and they are AWESOME! Something about that just really appeals to me, like I am tapping into some of the natural resources that Heavenly Father created to help with physical ailments. Thanks again Emily!

4. I'm grateful for CO-SLEEPING!! I know a lot of people think it's bad or whatever, but I love it so much. I'm a side-sleeper anyway, and so it's easy for me to curl up around her and sleep soundly that way. Then, when she wakes up, I don't even have to hardly wake up, I just latch her on and we both fall back asleep (unless a diaper change is in order.) I love feeling her tiny breaths on my skin.

5. I'm grateful for Baby Einstein. It's the one thing that is keeping Kalia distracted long enough for me to write this!

6. I'm grateful that I haven't felt depressed. I have been kind of irritable at times, and Samuel is trying hard to be patient. I pulled out some books to try to prove to him that it's just hormones, (and not me being witchy on purpose) but anyway, I guess irritable is better than depressed.

7. I'm grateful that Kalia is sleeping so good. She only took one nap yesterday, so I put her to bed at SIX p.m. She slept til 8:30 a.m.! I can hardly believe this is the same child that had to be bounced (and not rocked) to sleep (for 20 minutes), only to stay asleep for 39 minutes, exactly (back in her newborn days.)

8. I'm grateful for a support network of friends, family, and bloggers. Everyone has just been so great and you guys make it so much easier to go through things like this. Thanks again.

9. I'm grateful that I happened to watch Oprah on the day she announced a free photo book from Snapfish...I can't wait for it to come. I want to do lots of these, they are so cool.

10. I'm grateful to have two beautiful girls that I just love to death. It's true-- love doesn't divide, it multiplies. Even on hard days, it's all worth it when you get a hug, a kiss, a smile, a giggle, or just a good burp from one of your babies. Life's little pleasures.

The great day of the VBAC

First a few more pictures...you know how they change every day!! Annaliese has had a touch of Jaundice, but is coming out of it great. She just keeps sleeping and sleeping- about 22 hours a day! Love her!

Okay, I'm writing this labor story down with every detail I can remember, so I'm sorry if it's a little long! Here we go.

The balloon went in at 4:30 p.m. on November 5th. Aside from some Braxton Hicks contractions that acted up, I didn’t feel anything different. We checked into the hospital at around 5 a.m. and at 6 a.m. they checked me….I just had my fingers crossed that the balloon had worked…and it had! I was dilated to a 5, and had not hardly felt a thing. It was such a wonderful, amazing thing, I think everyone woman should have one every time.

After the nurse took out the balloon, my contractions started on their own, every 5 minutes, semi-painful. I started asking about the epidural, knowing it usually takes awhile to get the anesthesiologist in there. Unfortunately he was just going into a c-section, so I had to tough it out for an hour. It wasn’t that bad, with some counting help from Samuel and some breathing. By the time he got there though, I was READY for that epi!

I have to tell you about my nurse. Her name was Peggy Sue, and she is a traveling nurse. She had just flown in that very morning from Lousiana. She had the thickest accent ever, it took me several hours to be able to understand her. She was seriously such a character. We found out that she was a convert (10 years ago) which made it even cooler, because now my doctor and nurse were LDS.

So, my doctor checked in with me at 7:30, they started pitocin which really got the contractions going, I was able to get the epidural at 8:40, which made me sleepy, extremely nauseated (I threw up a few times), but it took away the pain for two hours. I dilated to an 8, but the baby was still at a -3 station, which is pretty high. (Peggy told me not to worry, that she had "magic" she could do if the baby wouldn't drop...I think she said this entailed tying a towel around my stomach and tightening it with every contraction to force her to drop. I THINK SHE WAS SERIOUS!) Luckily that didn't turn out to be necessary. Peggy broke my water at around 10:30 a.m., and immediately things went crazy.

First, the epidural wore off. Very quickly. I was panicking because it had happened three times with Kalia, and every doctor I've seen since then was SURE it wouldn't happen again! Plus, they'd hooked me up with an epidural button! Well, it was more than just a contraction, it was pain so intense that started in my lower back and then spread like fire to right under my pubic bone. I swear I thought my pelvis was going to shatter. Peggy was next door helping deliver another baby, so I called another nurse to show me where the epidural booster button was, and she saw that it wasn't quite hooked up right. I was REALLY starting to hurt, and I mean a BEE STING TIMES A THOUSAND (what was I thinking saying bee stings hurt as bad as labor...my memory failed me.) The contractions were only about a minute apart, and Tara even took a picture of them peaking off the charts. So the nurse quickly hooked up and pushed the button…I felt it go in my back and down my legs, but no pain relief. Everyone kept saying, "Give it a few more minutes" but things were just getting worse. Maybe it was too late to catch up to the pain, but I wanted to die. I'm sure this is when I started screaming. Everyone was encouraging me, so I figured WHY NOT. (My dear husband took a little video clip of one of these fine moments, and no, I will not be posting it.

I hadn’t mentally prepared myself for this pain—in my mind I had prepared for a painful "first half" of labor, meaning the pain before the epidural. I had gotten through it the first time with breathing and help from Samuel, and I knew I could do it again. So it not what I was expecting at all, to have a painless "first half" of labor and then a terribly painful second half. I like to think that I'm not a total wuss, but that I just hadn't prepared myself for the pain, or thought of what to do when it happened. Most of all, I just had no idea that I was getting close, so all I could think of was that this pain was terrible, and the end was no where in sight!

I remember my dad...He was in the room at the moment (he was OUT of the room for most of it, but he'd come in for a short time right before the epidural started wearing off.) Rather than looking worried and concerned, I could tell he was thrilled. He was smiling the whole time. He was just so happy that I was having these pains so low, because he knew the baby was dropping, and he knew it was probably the last obstacle that had to be overcome to have the VBAC. (Kalia's problem was that she just never dropped, even after I was fully dilated.) Well, so much for sympathy. Peggy came rushing in to check me, and my dad rushed out. I was screaming PEGGY MAKE IT STOP!! And she said with all that southern attitude, GIRL, DID YOU WANT TO HAVE A VBAC? (yes) AND DID I TELL YOU IT WASN'T GOING TO HURT? (no) OKAY THEN! She then proceeded to check me, and calmly says, "Oh, don't worry everyone, she's just going through transition."

Well, that was music to my ears. I have watched TLC's "A Baby Story" enough to know that other women who were trying to have all-natural/drug-free births often freak out and beg for epidurals during transition. I also knew that the birth comes very shortly after transition, so the end WAS in sight after all! That was such a great moment. And as a side note, for women who CAN do this naturally and drug-free, I will be honest and say...I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU DO IT. That pain at the end, with the contractions on top of each other, was unreal. (Sorry, don’t mean to scare any of you preggo’s who are getting near to childbirth.) I have an ENTIRELY new respect for anyone who’s birthed a baby period—but if you did it without an epidural, you deserve a million medals.

Well, Peggy let me start pushing, and WHAT A RELIEF it was to push. It either distracted me from the pain, or actually moved Annaliese into a position that wasn't so painful in my pelvis. I heard Peggy tell someone to CALL THE DOCTOR NOW, THIS BABY IS READY!” And once again, I wanted to cry in relief, but I was too busy screaming and grunting. My doctor was very close by and was there very quickly.

So one weird thing is that I had a vaginal septum that was blocking the exit for the baby. They are pretty rare, but oddly enough my older sister had one as well. The doctor had actually seen it the day before when he put in the balloon, but said it wouldn’t have affected my first delivery (since Kalia never dropped low enough to run into it) and might not affect the second one. But it was definitely keeping her head in, so Samuel watched him pull it out and cut it in half. (A good way to imagine a septum is to put your tongue up above your teeth and feel the little piece of skin that connects the inside of your upper lip to your gums. That's a septum. The one I had was a lot thicker though.

Well...the pushing. That is just so much dang work. I tried to use only the necessary "pushing muscles" but I found myself just clenching up my entire body to try to squeeze her out. That was really draining. I couldn’t concentrate on ANYTHING except pushing. My mom tried distracting me from the pain by talking, I think I yelled at her to be quiet, Samuel wanted to hold my hand, I told him to get away and start fanning me (I was starting to be drenched in sweat) and Tara was just doing great reminding me to keep my chin to my chest. They were telling me when they saw the head. I started feeling soooooo tired from the pushing, but since I had total feeling down there, I could feel the progress of her coming down the birth canal, so I knew the pushing was working. More pushing, and a hard time catching my breath afterwards. I know for a fact I said (several times), "I'm too tired. I can't do it." And Peggy was always right there saying, "Girl, you WILL do it!" Maybe it was about this time, my doctor, who I think was inspired, suddenly looked up at me and asked if I wanted to reach down and touch the head. It turned out to be exactly what I needed to really focus on the finish line and push a few more times with all my might.

And then she was out! It was probably the greatest relief I’ve ever felt in my life. I think I said about ten times. SHE'S OUT! SHE'S OUT! I'M DONE! SHE'S OUT!! The nurses were ready to wisk her away—they were worried for some reason, and asked the doctor to hurry and cut the cord. But the doctor calmly (and quickly) laid her on my chest and let Samuel cut the cord (although he did tell him to do it quickly.) I know we both appreciated that.

Annaliese didn’t cry for about two minutes, (My mom was watching and freaking out because she thought she looked stillborn) but for some reason I knew she was fine. And I was still distracted because even though she was out, my bootie was still killing me--it felt like a bomb went off down there.

Then I heard the cry. Then the emotions hit me. That was my baby—there she was, just hours before in a little ball in my belly, now she was officially here. The tears were pouring down my face. My sister was on the phone with my dad and my other sister. I was just flooded with emotion. My mom was crying (and I remember her saying, “You did it! You got your wish!”) and they brought her to me and I fell in love. I love that picture of Samuel showing me the baby, all bundled up, with light coming in and hitting her from the window, and sweat drenching my hair. It just sums it up so well.

My doctor kept working on me, trimming away the septum and stitching me up. I had a second degree tear, and it was an "unusual" one. It tore sideways instead of up and down, and in two different places and angles. I think it was a bit of a challenge to put back together. Afterward he gave me a high five (another successful VBAC for him too. He's the VBAC doctor champ!) and a hug (for Samuel too) and then it was over. So that's how it all went. It was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Samuel has been treating me differently ever since he watched it—it's like he gained a whole new respect for me, and he was so grateful and proud, and he even cried a little as he told me he was so proud of me. I loved that moment too. It felt good to be appreciated, I'm sure you all know what I mean.

I will also be honest and say that while I was pushing and laboring without the epidural, I swore this would be my only vaginal delivery, and that I never wanted to do it this way again. Back to C-sections for me. But that was in the midst of the pain, and now that I am bouncing back and feeling so good, well, there’s just no comparison, and I’m going to take it back. A huge amount of pain for a very short time (maybe two hours?) or a semi-huge amount of pain for two to three weeks afterwards? Kind of a no-brainer.)

Finally, two recent pieces of news:

1. My stitches came out. Not all of them, but because of how it stretches the perineum when you sit down, and the weird angle of the tear...I split open. It's been pretty painful, and so I'm still using the tucks, the numbing spray, and pain pills. They have to do a mini-surgery (in the doctors office) to fix it all up, and they couldn't get me in until Friday. So that's been a tiny bit of a pain, but luckily my mom is here. She has a cancer/doctor's appointment tomorrow that she has to go home for, but she's taking Kalia with her so that I don't have to chase her around.

2. The full name is now officially "Annaliese Sadie Bigler"-- we changed the spelling, and figured out a middle name. We almost named her Sadie as a first name, but Annaliese seemed to fit better. But maybe she'll go by Sadie later, if she wants to.

Well, hope you enjoyed my labor story. I have to say, six days after it happened, the memories of the pain have already begun to fade. It wasn't that bad. I'd do it again. And who knows, maybe next time that epidural will work the whole time, and I'll have the best labor and delivery of all time. It's a good goal. Now, back to the busy life.

Pictures for Now!

It was everything I hoped it would be-- and a lot more. I think every muscle in my body is sore, but this recovery is a million times easier than a c-section. HOORAY for everything and everybody and I am so happy. I'll have the whole story for you later. Here's my awesome doctor and my wonderful nurse. They made such a huge difference, I love them!

Kalia is doing good so far with her baby sister. She's only stepped on her once and almost pulled off her cord once (below.) Look at the double chin on that little chub.

A rare moment awake.

She's a sleepy head for now.

LINK TO KALIA'S NEWBORN PICTURES:

http://haebigs.blogspot.com/2007/08/were-home.html

She is here!

Baby Annalise arrived today at 11:24 am. weighing 7 pounds 15 oz. and 20 inches long. She has a lot of dark hair and looks like Kalia. Heather had a successful v-bac and she did so good, even though the dang epidural wore off. She will explain in detail I'm sure, but we are so happy that baby Annalise is here and doing good!

We're off to have a Baby!

Total Weight Gain: 40 lbs (Where all are those pounds? The lower half, I think.)

So there's the final belly shots.

Okay, we're not leaving right this minute, but the balloon went in at 4:30 p.m. and I'm having regular contractions but they aren't hurting. Now it's just a waiting game....will I go into labor sometime tonight? Will my water break? I don't know! I wish I did! If nothing else, I just show up at the hospital at 4 a.m. tomorrow and should be dilated to about a 4 (according to my doctor.) I've had butterflies all day, I can't believe it's time. Now I just have to try to sleep.

Thanks so much everybody, for all the well-wishes, thoughts, and prayers! I am feeling pretty good about everything, and I hope the positive thinking is helping. I know my sisters will put up a post or two to let you know what's happening.

So, a few random things:

1. The baby was estimated at 7 lbs 5 oz on Oct 28th, so about a week before her birth. (And yes, whew, they did confirm that it's a girl.) We'll see how accurate her weight turns out to be.

2. I had to run into the dermatologist and have some Basal Cell Carcinoma frozen off my chest on Friday. This is a first for me, (although my grandpa and mom have had little bits of skin cancer taken off) but I didn't feel worried at all (too distracted maybe?) I know it must have been those 2-3 years of tanning beds in college that did me in. Anyway, don't forget your sunscreen people!

3. Kalia has been going through some intense separation anxiety the last few weeks. Part of her is probably noticing the changes that are happening, and she can probably feel it in the air, (and the other part of it, according to google, may just be her age.) Anyway, she has been soooo clingy, and she's also starting to throw out a little attitude here and there. Maybe I should have had these kids 12 months apart instead of 14 and a half. Oh well, maybe somehow in a backwards way she will snap OUT of it when she gets a new sib! There's my positive thinking again.

Okay, that's all for now. Til next time...!!!

Who wants to talk Birth Control?

I do!! I am already thinking about it and doing my research. I think I'm going to need a few years before my next baby, you know! I want to try an IUD. The pill (AND the mini pill!) make me really moody, and I don't mean weepy, I mean RAGE-Y. I get mad really quick, and I can almost feel a little Dr. Jekyl (or Mr. Hyde? who's the mean one?) taking over.

I am considering the Mirena and the Paragard. I am actually strongly considering the Paragard because it releases tiny amounts of copper (and NO hormones!) that keep you from getting pregnant. It sounded weird at first, but as I've looked into it, I've found that the Paragard has been around way longer than the Mirena, which definitely makes me feel better.

One of the more "common" side effects of the Mirena is benign cysts on the ovaries. I'll be honest and tell you that it scares me to have ANY possible cysts growing on my ovaries. (Did anyone read King of Torts by John Grisham? Where the benign tumors on the bladder eventually turned into cancerous ones, and people started dying? I know it's fiction, but behind every fiction story I think there's some truth.

So yes, I'm scared of the Mirena (although I will say it's supposed to give you way lighter/easier periods, while the Paragard sometimes makes them heavier for awhile.)

Anyway, do YOU have any experience with IUD's? Or any birth control that is really great for you? If you don't want your comment left for all to see, please e-mail me at heatheresplin at yahoo.

Happy Halloween

Here's my little cheetah girl/kitty. I bought this last Halloween for $5 at Children's Place, hoping it would fit. I couldn't believe she left the ears on all night. This is at our ward party. The pictures from the real Halloween didn't come out very well (but picture this: a dum-dum sucker in each hand, and smeared black makeup EVERYWHERE.)

One of the decorations at the party was a life-sized witch (with warts and flashing eyes! She was scary looking! I couldn't believe Kalia wasn't scared of her.) She was stirring this cauldron that had dry ice (or something) making it look like it was boiling/steaming. Kalia loved it.

And if you want to hear Kalia's attempt at the witch's cackle, click on the movie below.

For the Record

ONE WEEK LEFT!! I am starting to feel "done" being pregnant, only because it's so laborious getting up and down, in and out of bed, and BENDING OVER!!

Honestly though, I know I had that one major complaining post, but things have been quite a bit easier ever since (maybe it was all your encouragement, who knows) but anyway, I just can't believe how this pregnancy has differed from my first. We just kept wondering if I was having a boy! So here's everything you could ever possibly want to know about my pregnancies. (haha, get comfortable.)

1st Pregnancy: Seemed to last for five years
2nd Pregnancy: Seemed to last for five months

MORNING SICKNESS:
1st Pregnancy: All day sickness, threw up 4 times, lasted 6 weeks
2nd Pregnancy: All day (off and on), didn't throw up, lasted about 3 weeks (being at home did allow me to snack frequently, this probably made a huge difference)

MILK JUGS:
1st: Huge, right from the beginning, with stretch marks to boot.
2nd: Didn't get bigger until about 20 weeks, then slowly kept expanding. Unsure if there's new stretch marks there...too hard to tell.

FATIGUE:
1st: Lots in the first trimester
2nd: The entire pregnancy felt like I was pulling an all-nighter. I took a million naps to compensate.

CRAVINGS:
1st: Salsa, Jamba Juice drinks (but not together)
2nd: French Fries, Baja Chalupas from Taco Bell

BABY MOVEMENTS:
1st: Every night at 11 p.m. I loved it every time.
2nd: This one kicks so hard, so frequently, it would often keep me awake or wake me up. So I didn't love it quite as much this time.

BABY SIZE:
1st: Measured normal throughout, but big baby in ultrasounds
2nd: Measured big throughout, but normal baby (predicted) in ultrasounds. (Actually on Tuesday they estimated that she is already 7 lbs 5 oz, so we will have to see.)

WEIGHT GAIN:
1st: 44 lbs (9 in the last 3 weeks)
2nd: 39 lbs (so far)

EXERCISE:
1st: Walking about 10 minutes a day
2nd: Nada, zip, zero (see fatigue, above)

SWELLING:
1st: Like a balloon. Couldn't fit my ring on for half the pregnancy. Had awful swelling in my joints, and felt like I had arthritis for 2 months.
2nd: I can still wear my ring and see my ankle bones. No arthritis! Desert climate I guess? Cooler weather?

HEALTH:
1st: Not great, several bouts of sinusitus and bronchitis that lasted forever.
2nd: WAY better. Never got sick in fact. Weird.

OTHER SIDE EFFECTS:
1st: Sciatica Pain for a few weeks, lots of rib pain.
2nd: I think I have my first hemorrhoid, but I can't say for sure. :) Rib pain is gone, sleeping pretty well...maybe it's just a smaller baby.

CONTRACTIONS:
1st: Nothing recognizable til the very end
2nd: I have had Braxton Hicks contractions at least 6 times a day, every day since 22 weeks. They are worse when I am active (exercise, lifting, cleaning). I am really tired of them.

PRE-LABOR:
1st: Baby never dropped, but I did dilate to 1 cm. at 39 weeks
2nd: Baby has already dropped, I was dilated to 1 cm. at 36 weeks, and I'll tell you if there's any more dilation tomorrow.

LABOR:
1st: 27 hours, then a c-section
2nd: I'm thinking positively and predicting an 8 hour labor, then a lovely (?) vaginal birth.

Sooo...that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. (On a side note, the only two things that have stayed the same are: no heartburn, no stretch marks on the belly (yet...knock on wood)

Were your pregnancies different from each other? I am going to assume that since the pregnancy has been so different, it also means these kids will be really different. And I think Karma kinda owes me one-- and by that I mean a child who is calm, low-key, and likes to sleep a LOT. Not that I don't love Kalia in all her hyper, splendid glory...but two Kalia's....I can't even imagine. She needs someone to balance her out.

So with one week to go, I am very content to let this baby keep cooking inside me and I'll just enjoy my naps for 7 more days.

Kalia's Talking

Mostly for journaling purposes, I wanted to record that Kalia is starting to talk quite a bit more than she used to. I am trying to keep track of words I hear her say, but I am forgetting to write them down, especially because I hear her trying to repeat all kinds of words that I say (time to stop calling other drivers "stupid idiots" I guess...)

I got her to say a few words for the camera last night, well, she attempts most of them at least.

For the record, here's some of the words she says (or tries to say) at 14 months:
Hi
Bye
no-no
Ni-Night
Kimmy (mimmy)
Jonny (nonny)
Buffy (the dog in st. Geo)
Allie (ah-yee) (these are family members)
Grampa, Grandma (bampa, mamma)
Jesus (gee-gee)
Uh-oh
Baby
Mommy
Daddy
Fishy
chicky
Duck
Doggy
Poo-poo
bath
bubble
mice (just "mi")
meat (just "me")
eyes
nose
cheese
banana
apple
outside
hat
yucky (kuck-a)
two
ba-ba
thank you (ta-too)
happy
nice (she says it niiiiiiiiiice)
hot
sky
moon
tutu (this is her word for binky...she came up with that herself.)
cupcake
good girl (kinda sounds like goo-goo)

I have noticed that she doesn't try to say the words that she signs...(eat, milk, kitty, birdie, more, all done, and help) regularly. I thought that was interesting. I am guessing that a first child is going to learn to speak faster than a second or third...just because they get so much of their parents' attention. I wonder if any birth order books would confirm that.

The other thing she does is jibber jabber on and on, like several whole sentences, and I can't pick out a single word. She carries on about 20 conversations a day with me in this language, and I just respond with "Oh really?" "Good." "That's wonderful." I hope she's telling me good things, and not "One day I'm going to make your life miserable...first when I'm two...then when I'm six...then when I'm twelve...then when I'm sixteen..." to which I reply, "Good! That's wonderful!"

To Vote or Not to Vote

Okay, OBVIOUSLY I should vote, you've heard it as much as I have-- people think this might be the most important election in our lifetime, because of the state of the economy.

I'm in a bit of a dilemma.

When we moved to Vegas, we got something in the mail about registering to vote, so I immediately filled it out and mailed it in. I even gave Samuel a hard time about not registering to vote until recently.

I just got online to make sure I'm registered to vote. I'm NOT. And it's too late to register!!!! I have no idea what happened.

Well, then Samuel and I realized that I am still registered to vote in Hawaii, and I could do so by using an absentee ballot. I thought that sounded good, after all, how could I NOT VOTE? I think my vote counts a lot in both Nevada or Hawaii (sometimes I felt like I was wasting a vote in Utah, since it was always for the republican candidates, just like the majority of Utahns.)

Well, two problems.

First: The absentee ballot asks for an address-- not a huge deal, I could just use my old one. They would mail my ballot to me here in Vegas...but then it asks me to SWEAR that the information is correct, and that I am a resident of the state of Hawaii (and then it reminds you that falsified information is conisdered a FELONY and could result in imprisonment and fines.) Well, if it was supposed to scare me, IT DID!

THEN, yesterday I read in the newspaper about some guy using false addresses to register people to vote in different states (long story, not worth repeating) but he totally was busted and in big trouble!

Second problem: I can't quite decide who to vote for. I have always been supportive of the republican candidate because they are, like myself, against gay marriage and abortion. However, I have to be honest and say that I am not thrilled with John McCain. When I see him on TV I'm kind of embarrassed for him. I watched the VP and Presidential debates (for the first time ever), and I am just SO not impressed with McCain. I actually LIKE Obama better, or should I say, his personality and his delivery, et., but I am not really feeling like I can trust him either. Actually, I am more concerned about someone assassinating Obama, Biden taking office, and our country getting totally corrupted, but I made that theory up myself, and don't know why I feel that way.

So, I took one of those little tests where you read the policies and quotes from the candidates (and they don't tell you who said it), and then you choose which ones seems to fit your ideals better, and then at the end it tells you which candidate fits you best.

Results: 7 points for Obama, 6 points for McCain.

SO WHAT DO I DO? Vote illegally? Not vote at all? I am seriously so torn. I would feel sad if I didn't get to vote in this incredibly "IMPORTANT" election, but part of me feels like...what's the point? I don't feel strong enough about either candidate. But I will feel sad that I got left out of this one.

What do YOU think? What should I do? The floor is open for open political discussion.

Let the Dilating Begin

WOWEE! I am POKING out there!! You know me, I like to show you how it really is. (But that's only cause it's the final stretch...the first 25-30 weeks was all about tricking you into thinking I was small.) I'll save the big bare-bellied picture (in a sports bra again?) for the very end.

I saw the doctor on Friday. I am barely 36 weeks, but I was happy to hear that I am dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced. (It's always nice to hear of any action going on, you know?) I am scheduled to be induced on November 6th (that's 9 days before my due date) and I am pretty sure I'll make it that far. (Kalia was only 2 days before the due date.)

I LOVE my new doctor (I switched a month ago.) He is all the way across town but he is wonderful and has done 6 (out of 7) successful VBAC's this month. (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean.)

He's going to induce me using a cathether and a little balloon up into my cervix-- hope that's not TMI for any of you, but I guess this is a very effective, drug-free way to induce. We're just hoping and praying for the best.

Anyway, I have a long post to do about this pregnancy #2 (and how different it's been from my first) but let's save that for another day.

I just love this little girl, and can't wait for another one to love as well.

5 Tidbits

1. We are MINI-VANNIN' it! I knew the day would come, and it happened to come sooner than we thought. I wasn't going to resist. I already love it. Thanks to our friend Chuck who found us this jewel of a deal...he gave us such a phenomenal price. We are going to stay a "one-vehicle" family for as long as we can, so that means we're selling the Camry, however, the good news is that our Camry is worth twice what we got the van for, so we can put away $2500 into savings. And it has all the nice extras like the rear air, power doors, and even a built-in air compressor in the back. And someday I will get an almost-new Honda Odyssey with leather seats. Someday.

2. Some of you know I'm a product-junkie. I read reviews and buy (and return, when necessary) like crazy. I have to share two VERY CHEAP and VERY EFFECTIVE products:
Best face exfoliator ever? BAKING SODA. Add a little water. Try it. It's very gentle and your face will feel like you just had a peel. And a fabulous night-time moisturizer? OLIVE OIL. (I used to have the oiliest skin, but nowadays it is SO DRY...especially my cheeks, and I have tried so many things to soften it. A tiny dab of olive oil has done the trick, and hasn't made me break out. Both of these worked better than the $40 exfoliator I tried from Estee Lauder and the $150 night cream from Lancome. (I'll be honest, I knew I would return them both...and I did. I just had to try in case they really were miraculous.)
3. I have been having fun with the baby name generator at babynamegenie.com. Try it out for a few minutes of mindless entertainment. (You never know, it might just give you the perfect name for your next child.)
4. Gas just dropped to $3.09 here in Vegas!! HALLELUJAH!!! It's definitely the upside of our crazy crashing economy.

5. Speaking of that crashing economy, a friend of a friend wrote a REALLY great post about the financial situation that's happening, and he pretty much "dumbed it down" for people (like me) who like to hear the simplified version of things. It's kind of long, but if you want to feel like you have a better understanding of it, check it out here.

Moms and Sisters are the BEST!

I wanted to give an update on my mom!! She is doing GREAT!! She had 8 intense chemotherapy treatments, and though she lost most her hair, she was able to get some awesome care and new drugs/treatments to manage side effects, and she only THREW UP TWICE the whole time. She could literally feel the strength of those praying for her. I know that feeling, I remember feeling that on my mission. It is such an awesome feeling. Thanks to everyone who has been a great supporter to her. Also, she is doing 60 radiation treatments (5 times a week) and she has 10 left. She's feeling good, getting her energy back, and her hair is starting to grow back too (although it's coming in gray, and she's bummed about it. I told her to bleach it platinum white, and spike it! Don't ya think?) By the way, she did NOT have to have a mastectomy. The picture above is of her and the roses that my dad has grown. He has thrown himself into gardening with a VENGENCE, it's like his therapy. The yard at home is like a garden of Eden.

These pictures, by the way, were taken in the backyard of my parents house. We grew up with that park at the edge of our backyard, it was the best. Now we love it for the grandkids. If only that house was bigger, we are bursting at the seams when we all get together.

A week or two ago Krystal came down from Springville, and she brought us these San Diego shirts from Old Navy. Our brother Eric is serving his mission in San Diego, he only has 7 months left. We took a few pictures to show our support. It was fun. I just love my mom and sisters so much. They are my best friends, and they each bring something so wonderful and unique to the family. Kimmy (the youngest, on the left) is 14, and is a wonderful aunt-- Kalia takes off running to her every time, and calls her Mimmy. She is constantly watching all of our kids for us. Anyway, enjoy the pics.

So it turns out...

BEE STINGS REALLY REALLY REALLY HURT. I mean, I'm going to have to rank it up there with labor pains (but I'll tell you in a month if that's really accurate, I've forgotten.) I was (un)lucky enough to find out today. The little buzzer was crawling around on my carpet. I'm just glad it was me and not Kalia. This is the stinger/butt that I pulled out of my second toe. (the top of my toe, not the bottom....weird.)

Call for Advice, Ladies

This is the swing I bought (on craigslist) for baby #2. We don't really have anywhere to store it, so it's next to our front door. Today I found Kalia sitting in it. (When did she get so big?) It reminded me...

She might be big, but she's still a baby to me! And now I'm going to have another one? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO??

Of course I've wondered how I'm going to split up my time and attention, and how Kalia is going to cope with not getting the usual attention that she used to, and if I'll ever feel fully rested again, and if I'll ever get anything spiritual out of church again...Well, let's just say there's been a lot of those kind of thoughts on my mind.

I've experimented with Kalia a little, to see how she'll react to a baby. My niece Kenya is almost three months old, and Kalia is getting good practice on her.

Kalia doesn't seem jealous at all when I hold her, she gets super excited (must be the young age) but she doesn't know how to contain the excitement. She wants to crawl up on the lap of whomever is holding Kenya, and she wants to poke her eyes (and say, "eye") and things like that. At least she learned what "be soft" means...but she obviously doesn't have much of a comprehension that a real baby is different from the baby doll that she likes to hold, throw around, and step on.

ANYWAY...please share advice you have about going from one child to two. (Any good books on the subject?) You didn't let me down with advice on my first, and I know you'll come through with the second.
Thanks in advance.
:)

The Errand of Angels

This isn't about that movie, although if anyone saw it, let me know if it was good.

This last week I've become totally overwhelmed. The apartment was getting really dirty. It desperately needed a deep cleaning. I just could not bring myself to do it. But it was starting to bug me, and I decided I would just find someone on Craigslist and pay them for an hour or two of work to do the bathrooms and that rotten kitchen floor.

I found two people offering reasonable rates and e-mailed them-- and they never responded! Who advertises on Craigslist and then doesn't respond? I don't know.

Wednesday night I remembered that my visiting teachers were coming over the next morning. I almost got out the vacuum, thinking I'd try to make it look a little more presentable for them, but finally I just decided what the heck, these are great girls who will love me even if I'm living in a dirty apartment right now.

Fast-forward to Thursday morning. Knock Knock Knock... I open the door and find my two lovely, wonderful visiting teachers with their arms full of cleaning supplies. I looked at them with saucer-sized eyes, partially embarrassed that they are REALLY going to see how I live (and not just in a blog tag that didn't show much) and then the other part of me was too grateful to protest because this was what I needed so bad, and I hadn't told a soul.

I have never had visiting teachers do something like this for me, and it just made me realize why the women of the church are so wonderful, why the Relief Society is called just that, and what a giant blessing it is to have wonderful visiting teachers who listened to a prompting.

I know they are thrilled that I took pictures of them cleaning, but I will never forget their act of kindness, and I hope they are getting so many blessings for doing something for me that I needed more than anything else.

By the way, they didn't just clean my kitchen, bathrooms, and floors, but they started laundry, straightened my room, made my bed, vacuumed...you name it, they did it. They made me sit on the couch the whole time (which was hard because it's just not easy watching people do all the work for you) but they were amazing. I was choked up when they arrived and left, trying to thank them and explain what a blessing they had been.

Samuel happened to drop in when they were about halfway through. He said, "No offense honey, but I haven't seen the apartment this clean in a long time." I was feeling much too joyful to take any offense. He was right.

Sara, Melissa, thank you again, I love you, and I look forward to the day that I can do the same for someone else. And thank you Heavenly Father for being aware of me that day.

What a Crazy Weekend

Either I am getting lazier, tireder (is that a word?) or both, but I feel sort of behind on everything. Oh well. This is a long story, but I want it recorded. I had the awesome experience of attending my first Time Out for Women this last weekend. If you don't know what it is, basically it's put on my Deseret Book and is kind of an EFY/Women's Conference experience. My dad was so thoughtful and bought tickets for me, my mom, and my sisters. My youngest sister came up from St. George and watched Kalia. I was SOOO excited to hear from Sheri Dew, I think she inspires me to be better more than almost anyone else I can think of. She was wonderful, and I gained some really great insights that I will maybe share later. Hilary Weeks was also there- she is wonderful, I love her music, almost as much as my mom does. My mom is hands down the biggest Hilary Weeks fan in the WORLD. We were both excited to find out that a friend that was there with me (MARYLIN!) is her first cousin! Anyway, Hilary sang these songs that just made me bawl, and it felt so good to cry, you know how it goes.

Well, Friday night comes around. I was headed home with Kalia asleep in the car (around 11 p.m.) and Samuel was supposed to be home from riding dirt bikes out in the desert somewhere. I get home, he's not there yet, and somehow, my house keys have fallen off my car key ring, and I'm locked out. Kalia wakes up and wants to play. I call Samuel and he hasn't even left yet, and is about 30 minutes away. We live in a semi-ghetto area, and I was NOT about to sit on our porch and wait with a barefoot toddler in a nightgown. I cried and ranted and raved that he wasn't there to meet me, and then I tried for 15 (unsuccessful) minutes to break in to our apartment, then finally gave up and drove 30 minutes across the city to my aunt's house where other family members were sleeping. It was about midnight by this time.

It was at that moment that I found the keys sitting on the seat next to me. I was really ticked that I hadn't found them the first time I looked. At this point I get a text from Samuel telling me that their truck battery has gone dead, and they will have to ride their dirtbikes 20 miles back into town and get help. I'm too tired and frustrated to offer to help.

I should have offered to help.

But no, I attempted to sleep in the same room with Kalia in a pack and play. She didn't want to go to sleep as long as she could clearly see me laying in the bed. LONG story short, I put her in the bed with me (and put her back in the pack and play) four or five times during the night. She slept for a total of four hours. She screamed for another one or two, as I smushed a pillow over my head and cried in (more) frustration. Oh, and at some point Samuel had texted me saying he'd gotten home. I didn't really pay attention to what time he'd sent it.

At about 7 a.m. I realized she wasn't going back to sleep, and she was close to waking up everyone in the house with her protesting, blood-curdling screams. (I have to add that she is a great night-sleeper at home, so I'm feeling even more upset that she wasn't home in her own bed. I'm still partially blaming Samuel for this, which wasn't fair, I know.) I was so overwhelmed with a hundred negative emotions, I basically ripped her out of the crib, marched her downstairs and buckled her in the car. (She was supposed to stay at this house to get babysat for the day, FYI) Then I drove (sobbing) back to my apartment, and called Samuel, woke him up informing him that I'd just had the worst night of my life (it seemed) and I had a full day of classes ahead of me, and HE was going to solve the problem of what to do with her for the rest of the day, and I was going to sleep for a few hours to try to get some sanity back. I was tempted to skip the whole second day of Time Out for Women... Seriously, I was being COMPLETELY irrational, emotional, illogical, etc. I can admit it. I even comprehended it at the time, but it didn't stop me.

The one thing I could think clearly was, "Wow, the Adversary sure is going to a lot of work to stop me from going to these classes. So there must be something I need." And that made me all the more determined to get there...eventually. Samuel met me at the door, I handed him Kalia, and crawled in bed. Then I slept for three hours. I missed the morning classes of Time Out for Women. I guess Kalia slept for about three hours too.

As Samuel was driving me to the Cashman Center, where the classes were held, I finally asked how he ended up getting home the night before. That's when he told me that they'd been stuck out there most of the night, and he had finally gotten home and into bed around 5 a.m. (So he got a total of 2 hours of sleep.) I felt like a pretty bad wife (and mom) at that moment. I couldn't believe he hadn't ripped into me for being so awful. (Maybe it's something about a sobbing pregnant wife that makes you take pity and forget your own problems? I don't know.)

Here's what I do know. That afternoon session of TOFW was absolutely phenomenal, and I needed every second of it. I'm so glad I didn't give up completely. And I am so grateful to Samuel for whatever compassion overtook him; he didn't end up getting any work done, he took Kalia for the rest of the day, and he survived it all on two hours sleep.

That night, after a two hour nap for ALL of us, we got to go to a Nascar racing event. I didn't want to go, but my dad had won tickets, and Samuel thought it would be fun. The Nascar Speedway is only 10 minutes from our house! IT WAS AWESOME! I couldn't believe how exciting it was to see those trucks (happened to be a truck event) just FLYING around that track. Even Kalia was clapping and waving at the trucks every time they went by. And we got a nice fireworks show at the end.

Moral of the story? I don't know...you can probably deduct your own, but I was reminded that good things are worth fighting for, and that sometimes we just have to persevere when obstacles pop up to keep you from doing something good and uplifting. And give your husband a hug and a kiss for no good reason. They really are good to us, aren't they?

Energizer Bunny Bigler

Sometimes it doesn't seem fair that the kids get all the energy, and parents get the tiredness. Caffeine is getting more and more tempting.

I don't know if it's a naturally-short attention span, or if Kalia feels too cooped up in the apartment, but she is always going-going-going.

If I'm on the computer, she wants to be on my lap (drawing on things or banging on the keyboard.) If I'm on the couch, she wants to climb up and down and all over me. If I'm in the bathroom, she wants to be there so she can wave bye-bye to whatever flushes. And now that she learned the sign for "outside" she asks to go out several times a day, which I try to go along with, but I'm getting a little bored with it to be honest, because we do the same thing over and over again. Climb the stairs. Run. Chase pigeons. Try to open all the mailboxes and car doors with the keys. Run more. Climb more. Then I get too tired and/or hot and take her back up to the cold, small apartment.

I hope life balances itself out a little by sending me a non-energizer bunny for number two.

So, if you're bored, here's a few clips of Kalia's....well, energy. Forgive my messy apartment, but let's be honest, I'm not really in the mood to keep it clean.

The tag you didn't want...

You've seen it going around, right? Take a picture of the following (immediately) with no cleaning. Then you see that you were tagged. So you take your camera and snap away, gulping here (how embarrassing!) or breathing a sigh of relief there (whew...hubby did the dishes recently.) So here we go, and then I'm tagging some of YOU! No worries, I think we're all learning the same thing about each other-- we're not perfect housekeepers, not anywhere near, but oh well!



1. Closet- this is Kalia's (as you might have guessed)-- and luckily I just started boxing up 12 months of clothes that were stacked to the ceiling. Maybe the nesting is beginning.

2. Kitchen Sink
3. Toilet, master bath. Samuel must be cleaning it, cause I don't remember the last time I did.4. Laundry room (the dryer was behind me...it's too small to get both in the pic, just use your imagination.)
5. Kids/pets (with post-piggytail hair). She sure wishes she had a pet...kitty/doggy/fishy/birdie/horsie/... a sister will have to do.
6. Place you want to visit: I'm so homesick for Hawaii. I should have appreciated it more when we lived there.

7. Fridge/Freezer
8. Favorite room: Not many to choose from, but I do get to watch all my favorite shows, and blog, from this room. And Kalia gets to jump off the coffee table onto the couch all day, so she likes it too.
9. Self-portrait. I guess it's a good as time as ever. 30 weeks.
10. Favorite shoes. Got 'em at Charlotte Russe, love 'em, they were only $15. One is missing right now.

So who are the lucky winners to be tagged!??! How about Holly W., Kim B., Natalie I., and Crystal M.? Woohoo!

Ceramic Tile! Never again!

See this tile here? It's the ceramic tile in our kitchen and one of our bathrooms.

I HATE IT!!

I am vowing here and now to NEVER have white ceramic tile in any home EVER.

Why such violent feelings about tile? Well, I'm pregnant, and my feelings about everything are violent, but more importantly, EVERY speck shows up on it, and thus it always looks filthy. The only time it ever looks good is right after I've swept it (three times in a row) and mopped it (twice)...then it only looks good for about one hour. (picture above...still wet from mopping....it takes forever to dry.)

Too much work for not enough pay-off.

I really like my mom's "fake-looking-tile-lineoleum" and my uncle's fake hard-wood floor...I don't know, what else is out there?

I can't wait to build a house someday. I'll try to be very patient, but I'm storing little tidbits away in my head.

"They're not my toys!"

Tonight Samuel requested oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It's 10:30 p.m. But I was kind of in the mood for them too, so I cleverly said, "I'd love to make some, but the kitchen's a mess, and there's toys all over the living room..." (in a tone that said, too bad, I'll have to do that instead.)


He quickly piped up, "I'll clean the kitchen!" (Just what I was hoping for)

And I prompted him, "and the living room too?" and he goes, "How about just the kitchen?" And so I say, "Honey, it's not even hard to pick up the toys and put them away. But look how hard it is for me to bend over!" (and I demonstrate.)

I don't think he looked up from the game he was playing on his cell phone, but he said,

"They're not my toys."

HA! Can you believe it! I thought it was so funny, and it caught me so off guard. I decided to blog about it instead. Now he's all embarrassed that I'm telling everyone what he said. Too bad, so sad! I'm not trying to embarrass him, he didn't say it rude, and he didn't really mean it. It was a funny comment, that's all. Or maybe I'm just tired and need some sleep.

(half hour later)...the kitchen is clean, so is the living room! Thanks dearest. Hope you didn't do it out of guilt.

I'll make the cookies tomorrow. I think I'm going to use this recipe, but let me know if you have a yummy one.