Don't you love it when kids fall asleep in their high chairs? I mean, well, not LOVE it, cause then they're not tired for bed, but it's so dang cute.

On a more serious note, I really love this quote by President Monson, and I know every parent out there knows the feeling he is talking about.

"Should a parent need added inspiration to commence his God-given teaching task, let him remember that the most powerful combination of emotions in the world is not called down by any grand cosmic event nor found in novels or history books-- but merely by a parent gazing down on a sleeping child." Ensign, May 1973

Seriously, what is it about them when they are asleep? Sometimes I am overcome with emotion so strong I don't know how I contain it without spontaneously combusting.

:)

Christmas Dresses

Oh how I love Kohls. They are always sending out coupons like $10 off $20 or, even better, $10 off $10...and then they have such great sales. Last year I got some Christmas dresses for the girls at the After-Christmas sale, and I was excited to find them in our storage unit...just in time! I was also glad that their old dresses still fit too, so we have had some variety for their December church outfits.

Did I mention our church is changing from 2-5 p.m.? I can't wait. (sarcasm.) On a slightly positive note, I might be able to sneak a nap in for Annie before we leave...anyone else ever had church in the late afternoon?

And why oh why is it so hard to get my girls to just smile a normal smile? Oh well. We got one smiley picture. That will have to do.

Mesa Temple Lights

We were able to go see the Mesa Temple lights (my first time ever) and I was blown away! St. George doesn't do anything close to this, and I even liked the Mesa lights better than Temple Square lights.

Kalia really wanted to hear "the singers" (a nightly choir or group performance from different people in the valley) so they just plopped themselves down on the front row. And yes, it was warm enough for Kalia to be running around without her jacket.

It was pretty much breathtaking! The girls loved it too. In fact, they thought Christmas lights and decorations on all the houses were so incredibly exciting this year, I took them driving through the neighborhood several times. This neighborhood we're in goes ALL OUT! I wish I would have gotten some pictures of some of the houses. It was amazing. I remember driving around as a family looking at Christmas lights, but I didn't remember how much fun it is when you're little. I get it now.... why parents go to so much work to make Christmas magical.

Annie rode for a little while in the backpack

Kalia loves going "inside the temple" to do the touch-screen movies and commercials, and asks to go in every time we are there. This was no exception.

The girls kept running around from site to site. It was so dang fun to see them so excited.

You can't tell from this shot (we couldn't get any closer) but these camels were LIFE SIZE! So cool!

And this is how you decorate palm trees with Christmas lights, in case you were wondering.

I just loved the sheer number of lights on everything.

ALMOST Two Thirds Done...

Lately I've been feeling a little regretful that I haven't been blogging more- the semi-boring stuff, like little things the girls are doing and saying, and the family activities we've been doing. I have completely stopped writing in any form of a journal, which means this is the only record I've got! My choices are: (hmm....I just took on my Mommy Voice.) #1 Write that stuff somewhere else, along with my deepest thoughts and feelings (Used to do that.) or #2 Blog more, whether or not it bores you.

You probably guessed what I'm choosing. Typing is just SO MUCH FASTER than writing!!! So prepare for some back to back updates...coming soon.

I have been keeping a better record (saving a draft actually) of the details of this pregnancy. I've learned that I forget most of the things I was sure I would remember about being pregnant. And I know I've asked my mom details such as, "How sick were you with your first pregnancy? Your second? Your third?" (all three girls). She just remembers being really sick with the third, and being sure it was a boy. Hmm, that's funny, sounds way too familiar.

So here's some more info about this third pregnancy, for me, and for my girls someday when they are pregnant themselves. (Kalia thinks she's pregnant already, and often puts my hand on her tummy and tells me when the baby has kicked.) Anyway...for the REAL pregnancies in the future. I will warn you, it's long and detailed. And I will never know if you just leave this post right now. Ok, ready? Go.

Samuel and I both felt like it was the right time to start trying, although I had no idea how long it would take me to get pregnant. I've never had an IUD before, but I heard that often you can get pregnant right away. But I'm also the only girl in my family (so far) who has avoided the miscarriage heartbreak, so I have always wondered if or when that would happen.

I had my IUD taken out on a Friday. I knew I was in the ballpark of ovulation time, but I wasn't exactly tracking it, so I didn't know for sure. Right before I got the IUD taken out, we started going through a LOT of trials, and the stress and contention in our home was pretty high. I got a very strong impression that the adversary was very unhappy about the baby that would be coming to our family, for what reason, I'm not sure, but it made me mad that he thought he could stop me from at least trying to conceive, and it made me all the more determined to not give in to the trials/stress/contention. And I guess as a reminder of Who is more powerful, I got pregnant the same weekend I had the IUD taken out.

I started taking pregnancy tests as early as possible...just for fun, and also because I had got them for .50 cents a piece on ebay. After two negatives, I waited another week and got a positive. I was really excited. But then at 5 weeks along I got hit with awful food poisoning. I've never had it before. It was misery at its finest. After I finally thought I was okay, I had a one day break and then it came back again. (FYI- When recovering from food poisoning, don't eat dairy or meat the day after, or your poor stomach freaks out and your symptoms often return. Learned that the hard way so now you don't have to.) I got so dehydrated that I couldn't walk around without getting dizzy, but refused to go to the ER because I wasn't covered by insurance at the time. Got a priesthood blessing and was able to recover, but I had lost 3 lbs (and wasn't complaining about it.)

A few days after the food poisoning, the nausea set in, and I felt sick all day for several weeks. I was overconfident and thought that since I've done this twice before, I would be a pro at managing it this time. I wore my sea-bands on my wrists, ate food every few hours even though nothing ever sounded good, and took Unisom and B6 at night. I ate a lot of Taco Bell during weeks 6-8, because it was one of the only things that I could think about without wanting to gag (strange, I know...now that I'm out of the first trimester, I never even think about going there.)

In my previous pregnancies, I would feel sick all day, throw up once a week or so, and it seemed to be at its worst at week 8 or 9, and then get better, and I'd feel pretty good by week 10. Pretty easy stuff right? So I told myself to just make it to week 8. That week was Samuel and Kalia's birthday party. The summer heat was killing me and making me feel even sicker, but we had a good time anyway. Unfortunately, I was sicker than ever by week 9, and started throwing up everything. After I threw something up once, I didn't want to eat that food again, so I was running out of options of things to eat. And I was dehydrating again, but couldn't keep water down. Sometimes I could keep soda or Gatorade down. Week 10 it got worse and I would lay in bed or on the couch for the entire day and only get up to feed the girls or change a diaper. Or throw up of course. The girls absolutely destroyed the house, but what could I do? Nothing. I threw up so many times I lost count. Sometimes Annie would go to the toiled and grab it and stick her head in and make gagging noises, just for fun, because that's about all she saw me do. I was miserable and swore this was my last pregnancy.

I was able to get great medical coverage (finally! a whole different story!) and I went to the doctor at 10.5 weeks and begged for a prescription. He gave me one because I wasn't gaining weight. He told me my insurance probably wouldn't cover the "good stuff" (Zofran) and so he wrote me a second prescription for a different kind, but had to be taken as a suppository. (UGGGGHHH!!) Sure enough, my insurance only covered the second one, and I had to figure out how to do the whole suppository thing. It wasn't fun. Let's leave it at that. But it helped a lot. The downside- the drug knocked me out and I was in and out of sleep all day. I tried to take it every 3rd day, and I finally stopped throwing up. The house remained a total disaster.

At 14 weeks, the nausea FINALLY vanished. It felt like FOREVER because I was expecting it to end at 8 weeks. I know it sounds really whiny of me to complain when I know some of you (EMMA!) are miserably sick for the whole 40 weeks. So I apologize for the complaining. But it was an awful summer, spent stuck in the basement for most of those awful 6 weeks.

Some other things that were really different for me in the first trimester is that:
1. My hair was falling out a lot- in my other two, I wouldn't lose much hair in the shower.

2. My leg hairs were growing so fast, I couldn't hardly keep up with the shaving. So annoying.

3. My boobs got bigger than they have ever gotten (and are still growing!) I can't lie. This is my favorite part of being pregnant so far. Every day for at least the first 20 weeks I would give them a good squeeze and marvel at how fun it is to have "big jugs." After 2 years of post-nursing deflated little things...these are in my top 3 "perks" of being pregnant. Even though they still are sensitive and sore...I guess from the growth. Gee I hope my brother isn't reading this post.

4. I haven't had a lot of mood swings or anger rage-episodes with this pregnancy.

5. I haven't had any dandruff, like I got with both previous pregnancies.

6. My belly stayed hidden really well until about 17 weeks along. I was expecting it to pop out really soon, but it didn't, probably because I finally started working out in April and got my abs back in shape. Just in time to get out of shape. However, that was no indicator of ANYTHING, as I am now as huge as always. I am measuring right on, but I somehow manage to look much bigger than every other pregnant girl in my ward.

So, especially after considering #1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, we decided that we were for sure having a boy. Samuel started talking about his little boy. I started calling it a he. I was SURE. How could I have THAT many things different from my other two pregnancies? I mean, sickness aside, my body was NOT doing it's normal "pregnant" routine.

I was feeling really anxious about having a boy. About all the clothes and shoes and blankets and "boy" toys that I would have to gather. About having to store all the new boxes of stuff after he grew out of it. About not knowing how to handle a freshly sliced...circumcision. About having a super hyper son-- my girls are already energetic enough. About whether my boys would love me as much as my girls do. Silly stuff, maybe, but part of me hoped for a girl because THAT'S my comfort zone.

I should have remembered that Kalia, back in our old house, use to climb into bed with us in the mornings, and on several different occasions, would point to this spot on the ceiling, and say, "Look, a baby!" At first I thought she was just making this up, but she only did it when she was in our bed-- never anywhere else in the house. After a few times, I started asking if it was a baby boy or a baby girl. And she always said, "Baby Girl." But that was over 9 months ago, and I'd forgotten all about it, until the day our ultrasound tech confirmed...GIRL!

Samuel looked like he was about to cry when he found out. It didn't help that I had basically already got him so excited by telling him I was pretty sure it was a boy. I was so shocked, I went completely speechless, and almost asked for another look. I just really thought I was "in tune" with my body, haha!! But I spent the rest of the day feeling quite...elated. And I told Samuel that I wasn't happy to NOT be having a boy, I just was so happy to have another little girl.

Now, I am 25.5 weeks along today. I have gained almost 20 lbs already, despite my earlier "success" with not gaining weight. And I'm trying not to be depressed about that, but just be grateful that my body seems to carry babies without much of a problem. I am having braxton hicks contractions several times a day (as I did with Annie) and I'm not worried about them, but they are worse when I pick up my kids or go up stairs...so despite my best intentions to work out and keep my weight gain down, I probably won't work out. The contractions are just too annoying-- the constant tightening of your gut that makes it a little hard to breathe sometimes.

I was really hoping to not gain as much weight with this pregnancy, and though I started out good, I don't know how it will turn out. I have been eating a LOT of Christmas treats and ice cream at night. At least this time I have recognized that I'm NOT "eating for two" It's more like I'm eating for like, 1.25, and so therefore I DON'T need 3000 calories a day. 2500 will be fine. (just kidding. I'm not counting, but I'm just trying not to be such a piggy.) But, having said that, I must add that I LOVE being in the second (now third) trimester during Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It makes it so much more fun to indulge in all the treats. I also love the cold weather, especially at night. We leave our window open a crack at night. Samuel freezes, but I am just right. Pregnant in the winter is the way to go! Let's hope I can be a bit better in my last few months...starting in January. :)

I am now officially in the THIRD TRIMESTER. Wow...that blissful second trimester went by way too fast. As a reminder though, I have started to have some pregnancy discomforts, mainly a burning pain at the very top of my ribs, right at the bottom of my sternum. It really acts up when I lay on my side...which is the only way I can lay these days, so it's a constant pain, and the worst in the mornings when I wake up. It feels like her little foot is wedged up there, but I know it's not...cause she's laying sideways. So I don't know why the rib is killing me, but I have had it with my other pregnancies, so I guess I'm not surprised. I am hitting that stage where it's hard to bend over and hard to be comfortable-- and still have 3.5 more months to endure so...we may be bringing out the Tylenol PM here soon.

Still no name for the little lady...Samuel wants it to be meaningful. I want it to sound good with the other 2 names. We liked Hannah, cause it's meaningful (the mother of the Prophet Samuel in the bible) but then it didn't work with "Annie and Hannah"...you know I would end up calling her Hannie all the time. So that's out. We'll keep thinking.

Only 1/3 left. It's flying by. I am hoping for an April Fool's baby! I'm not going to be induced this time, so we're hoping for another VBAC, this time WITHOUT PITOCIN. Don't get me started on all the evils of Pitocin.

25 weeks
Thanks to Jaesi for sending the skirt!!!

30

Well. The dreaded day arrived. I am 30 years old. I am 30. "How old are you?" "Oh, I'm 30."

It sounds awful.

A few wise people on facebook were able to remind me some good things about 30 (and thank you for that!) but...I am still feeling depressed. How lame.

I thought back to this year of 2010. It's probably fair to say that this year has been the hardest year of my life. I have never known so much heartache in one year. I guess you could say that I've learned a whole LOT of lessons about life- about myself- and not all of them are profound. But some of them are. Because I've also known deeper joy and happiness, and a closeness to my Savior, than I ever have before in my life. And that's what opposition is all about. So, in honor of being "one year older and wiser too"-- here's my list of 30 things that I've learned.

1. It really REALLY doesn't matter what other people think about you- because they never know all the details that God knows.

2. Most of the behaviors that we try so hard to change in our little kids...will eventually go away on their own.

3. Our husbands base most of their happiness on how happy they think we are (note I didn't say how happy we ARE, but how happy they THINK we are. Not the same thing.)

4. The day of miracles has not ceased.

5. There are unseen angels around us, helping us get through the trials of life. Many of them are our deceased relatives, and I believe that they are much more present than we realize.

6. We don't have to beat ourselves up over everything. It basically doesn't help us in any way.

7. Any effort, any offering to the Lord, is appreciated by Him.

8. I feel so much better when I spend the day praising my kids instead of reprimanding them.

9. It is hard to live in someone else's house/space. No matter your relationship with them.

10. Taylor Swift is amazing.

11. Biting your tongue can save you so much drama later on.

12. Parenting has no "easy" stages. It's always hard, always a juggling act, and you never feel like you have it all together.

13. So you might as well enjoy every day NOW, and stop waiting for it to get easier.

14. Sometimes things get a lot worse before they get better.

15. People can change. It's hard work. But we should never give up hope on them-- or ourselves.

16. I figured out what really renews me, and helps keep my batteries charged.

17. In no particular order, they are massages/pedicures/facials/manicures (etc), traveling, visiting my family, buying something at a store (shopping), and alone time, preferably reading a fabulous book.

18. Dwelling on the past won't change a thing.

19. But it's also much easier to forgive than to forget.

20. If you live long enough without having extra money, you will actually stop thinking of things you want (but don't really need).

21. Everything feels worse when you're tired. Get some sleep and think about it tomorrow (Scarlett O'Hara style of course.)

22. Clutter is one of my biggest downfalls. I hate clutter, but yet it still piles up.

23. Food storage is absolutely critical for the future. It's urgent. Get it now.

24. The internet takes up WAY too much of my time, and steals precious moments that I should be spending with my kids.

25. But it also blesses my life in so many ways that I have a hard time giving it up. I need to find a balance.

26. I need to "Eat a few more salads...and not stay up so late." (Tim McGraw said it so well.)

27. There is nothing quite like a clean house. (Even though it never lasts.)

28. Being a mother is so incredibly special-- there are no words to describe it.

30. Family is Everything.

Quickie Update

1. Got lots more blond highlights. Feeling much better about myself in the hair department. It still feels pretty dark to me, but everyone else seems to consider me a blond now (already?) I'm not complaining.P.S. Can you believe my cousin curled my hair like this with a flat iron? I'm going on day 5 without brushing it or touching it up. Probably time to wash it.2. Belly popped. And I mean POPPED. Last week someone asked if I was 6 or 7 months along. BOO. Those comments still sting, even the 3rd time around. Here I am at 22.5 weeks.3. Annie turned 2 a few weeks ago! Have slowly started potty training in a very relaxed, non-commital way. She has got the pooping thing down pretty well, but wets through her panties every time. I love that little bum in underwear though! Had a fun little party in St. George and she got to ride a horse for the first time at my grandparents corral.

4. She still can't digest gluten or dairy very well, but I let her have a little every day anyway, because she wants it so bad. She likes to get into everything that she can that tastes good. She polished off an 1/8th of a bottle of gummy vitamins recently, and ate a whole bunch of cupcake sprinkles too 5. Took away her bottles. She was drinking almond milk in a bottle before her nap and before bed. Won't touch it now that it's in a sippy cup, and only drinks juice or water. I'm ticked. Want to give the bottles back because she really needs the bit of calcium and Vitamin E in that milk. Arrrrgh.

6. Kalia's on a food strike lately too and doesn't want to eat anything except pasta or cheese. She never used to be like this. Feeling a little frustrated in the kitchen these days. 7. Samuel got accepted into a 3-year Bilingual Nursing Program through the community college network here. We're super excited about it. He doesn't have to be on any wait lists to get in to nursing school, thanks to this program. But he also has to wait til 2012 to start classes, because he already has his bachelors, and right now the rest of the people in the program are starting on some general ed classes. Oh well. At least we have a plan for the future. A pretty inexpensive option too.

I guess that wasn't very "quick" after all. That's what's going on with us lately though!
:)

A challenge for all of us...

Note: For some reason, when I hit publish, this font goes to all caps. Don't know why. Just warning you. I'm not trying to yell this post at you. :)

Hey friends. I really want to share this blog with you. I think it's changed my life. At least to a small degree. It's called "Asking Jane." Jane is an experienced, LDS mother of 11 children. Somehow people started emailing her and asking her questions about raising kids, motherhood, etc. I LOVE her answers. Every now and then, one of her answers doesn't work for me-- specifically her advice on bedtime. I'm strict about sleep and naps and bedtime-- but other than that, she has amazing advice. Her perspective on motherhood is priceless, and some of her suggestions I have taken to heart and they have truly made me a better mother. One of the most influential answers she gave that helped me a TON is found HERE , specifically the last paragraph. Also, if you want to read about 11 incredibly profound paragraphs on discipline, go HERE (SERIOUSLY SOOOO WORTH YOUR TIME! AGAIN-- THINGS THAT HAVE TRULY CHANGED MY APPROACH TO PARENTING/MOTHERING.)

I just wanted to share this challenge that she recently gave to all the young mothers. I am going to find a way to do this challenge, because I know in my heart that she's right, and that this will make a difference in my life. (I tend to read scriptures at night, and frankly, it usually is out of obligation. I am looking forward to it being something that will be a blessing to my day, and the way I handle the challenges of the day. It's going to be hard, because I'm a night-owl, and a very slow-moving morning person...but I'll find a way to do it.

:) I hope you enjoy her as much as I do.

Her website, which I suggest you follow regularly, is HERE

And the challenge to all, below:

A Letter From Jane: A House Of Order

from Asking Jane by Natalie

Dear Readers,

I know that when you read the title of this letter, you’ll be hoping for cleaning tips or organization methods. I do have some of those. But I want to say a word today about something more basic. And I’d like to start out by issuing you a challenge. This challenge is going to sound impossible. So you know I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important and if I didn’t know how much it would bless your life. Here it is. I want you to begin every day with 15 minutes or more of scripture study, followed by a really good prayer. I’m not sure how you’re going to do it…how you’ll need to juggle, but I want you to commit to try.

And it really matters that you do it before everything else. Here’s why.

1. It clearly tells the Lord that he comes first with you—that everything else in your life is built upon this relationship. You know that wonderful scripture in Ether (5:12) …it is upon the rock of your Redeemer that you must build your foundation… Picture that your days are like structures that you are building. When you place the Lord first, he becomes the foundation of your work. Like paying tithing first, there is power in everything else that follows and confidence that your efforts will be magnified, blessed and that the windows of heaven will be opened. When we launch into our day without that help, we are flying alone. Our Heavenly Father becomes an afterthought…even an obligation.
2. You will experience an increase of peace. I love this quote by Merrill Bateman: “As faith grows, our vision of eternity expands, which increases our capacity to meet life’s challenges.” There is no more challenging life than yours. You need wisdom. You need ideas and plans and blueprints to go on as you raise these little children. Why wouldn’t we enlist the Lord’s help and depend on his direction? There is no more satisfying experience than to receive a flash of inspiration about one of your children—knowing that it came from outside of yourself. It’s usually something so simple but when implemented it turns the tide. It’s always loving. And peace comes because you recognize that you are not alone. You remember that you are not the only parent here. You are really just an instrument. As I’ve mentioned before, these flashes of light do not usually come during the prayer or even during the scripture study, but later in the day.
3. It is the way to truly teach your children the gospel of Jesus Christ. It becomes written in the “fleshy tablets of your heart.” You teach them from your own experience. When you tell them of the reality of God, they know that you know. Otherwise, it’s only words. The accumulated days of study and prayer, produce in you, core strength. There is no substitute for that. There is no shortcut. Our world is darkening. In the past few weeks, I have watched some of my most precious friends struggle with their faith, lose their testimony and let go. We’re going to see this more and more as we move into these final days. Our children need more than visual aids. They need to know because their mothers taught them.

There are other reasons. But unless you really commit to this and create this pattern in your life, you will not experience the blessings. Give place for this expansion to happen. It will give perspective and often solutions to every single problem in your life. I know this from my own experience. I’ll end with my current favorite scripture. I read it in Gospel Doctrine class this past Sunday and I loved it. “Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her tent shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.” Jeremiah 17: 7-8 All my love, Jane

Baby Girl #3

Today we had our ultrasound, and IT'S ANOTHER BABY GIRL!!! I am thrilled, honestly. I adore having little girls to dress up, and I imagine someday how we'll all be great friends, like my sisters and I are with my mom. Plus, I was worrying a little about having to start collecting and storing the oodles of boy clothes and shoes and blankets that I would need...so I am really super happy about the news today.

Samuel is....really really sad that he's not getting a boy yet. He'll get over it. But for now, he's in mourning. Everything looked great at the ultrasound, she is measuring right on track and from what I can tell, she has big lips like Kalia did.

P.S. I was so shocked to find out it was another girl that I almost asked her to show me again, although it was pretty clear, and she found it right away. This pregnancy has been WAY different than my others, so I was SURE it was a boy. Wrong!! More on that later!

I've Been Working Out

I've been working out. I thought you'd like to see my ab definition.

Not bad eh? What? Not impressed?
How about from the side?


The truth is, I haven't been working out at all, unless you can't the COUNTLESS number of times that I had to kneel down to puke in the toilet. I'll tell you all about it later.

For now you can know that I am 18 weeks along, due April 3rd, and in 10 days we'll find out if it's a girl or a boy! Yahoo!

I said I think I'll go to Boston

My mom, my sister Krystal and I were able to do a "Mother's Retreat" to Boston last week. There was supposed to be 6 of us, including another sister and 2 aunts, but in the end, it was just the three of us. We had the best time though, and we came home feeling refreshed and ready to take life on again. Here's a quick recap of our trip (and there are twice as many pictures on facebook.)

• Tour of Harvard- funny/entertaining student gave us a tour and it was fascinating
• Ate at Legal Seafoods- note- I don't like seafood, but we shared the most amazing clam chowder, lobster bisque, scallops, and shrimp OF MY LIFE. Maybe Boston made a seafood lover out of me. Also, the REAL Boston Cream Pie was UNREAL (see picture below.) I NEED TO GET SOME MORE!
• Saw the Statue of Three Lies-- did NOT rub the foot for good luck, since our guide told us that students like to pee on it as a joke to tourists. (Guess those genius students also can be immature like the rest of the normal world.)
  
• 

Rented a car for six hours to drive out into the country. I was IN LOVE with not only the fall foliage, but the architecture of the houses out in that area.

• Walked the Freedom Trail, loved it, and climbed on board of the USS Constitution, which never lost a single battle in the fight for our freedom. I call that divine protection, I don't know what anyone else wants to call it. :)

• Rode the subway everywhere- a bit cleaner and more pleasant than the subway in NYC.

Did a temple session inside the beautiful Boston temple. Only 6 people there...and we were 3 of them. :)

• HAD THE BEST TIME EVER!!!! LOVED THIS TRIP SO MUCH!!!

If you remember the pictures that we had taken of Kalia and Annie back in July, well GOOD NEWS! The photographer in St. George, named Brittany Stucki, is doing a giveaway on her blog for a free mini-session, including the pics on CD! What a deal! So go to her blog to enter the giveaway.
http://myframedphotography.com/Blog

October at Last!

I never really get to see this little one sleeping, since she's still in a pitch-black closet, so I didn't know that she sleeps like this. Those are her precious pink blankets...she can't sleep without them. Apparently unless they are completely surrounding her. (That's Annie)

Well, I've been really stressed out. Life has been really up in the air again. It's wearing me down and sadly, my attitude hasn't been that great. And I've kept most of it all to myself instead of venting it all out on this blog. So if you've noticed my absence or think I've been acting weird...well...I've just had a lot on my plate...emotionally. Just forgive me if I go on and on. Well, there's no "if" here. Of course I am about to do that. :)

Part of it is that our "Plan for the Future" has had to change AGAIN. I am really craving some stability in my life. Don't know when it's gonna come. You may remember that Samuel got a job working 45 minutes away at an Ultrasound school. He was doing financial aid (which he definitely does not enjoy) but he was excited to be able to actually ATTEND the ultrasound school, in fact he wanted to start this month, October, working during the day and then going to school at night, which originally he was promised he could do.

Then, soon after he started that job, we found out that if we wanted our whole family to have health insurance, it was going to cost $1200 a month. Yes you read that right. I was SO ticked. It wasn't even something we had to discuss. There was NO way we would be paying that for health insurance. So we've been without health insurance for awhile and it's really been bothering me, especially after seeing what kind of medical bills can add up after a random accident, say in the bath tub with a drinking glass. (I think her bills totaled over $80,000, which because Samuel was unemployed and we were on medicaid, we didn't have to pay anything...can you believe what a huge blessing? I will never get over that.) And in case you've been wondering how she's doing after that accident, the answer is still, miraculously, that she is completely and 100% fine. She still has this lovely scarring that sometimes peeks out of her swimsuit, but she has no side effects at all. I will never, NEVER get over that miracle. (Hopefully you can tell that this is her lying on her back with the pic cropped down to her right little bum-cheek.)
Okay, so back to Samuel's job. Long story short, the school backed out of their promise that he could go to school, saying he had to choose- school or job. I was already freaking out about the
health benefits, and I was wishing that we didn't live so far away from his job. He would be gone from 8 a.m. until about 9 p.m. and that's without going to school.

He ended up getting a new job. He took a paycut, which means we won't be leaving this basement anytime soon, but the health benefits are WONDERFUL. He just started training last Monday. He now works 20 minutes away instead of 45. We feel really blessed, and hopeful that he will either love his job, and move up quickly (i.e. make more money) or that it will give him a great schedule that will allow him to go to school. He applied for a nursing program as well. It's kind of a long shot to get in, but we're still praying for divine intervention anyway, if that's what's meant to be. By the way, he is working for Paypal, owned by Ebay, who just opened a big new office in this area. They are going to be hiring and expanding more in the next year or two, and since he got hired with the first group, I really hope he can move up faster than normal.

Also, it's been harder than I thought (psychologically) to live in someone's basement. I don't love my ward. I really don't feel like I belong here. 90% of the ward is made up of young families. Most of the women here are close to my age, but much further along in life, as in, they married young, and now have several kids, some even 9 or 10 years old, and they have husbands with well-paying jobs and huge houses that are decorated like Martha Stewart herself was hired. (I'm not kidding. I've been in 4 houses so far and they were all like that. Somehow this bothers me. I don't want to get into the "I can decorate my house better than your house" game. I don't want to feel like I have to measure myself against them. That's a game we'll never win, but we do it anyway (especially in the LDS church) and I don't like to feel bad about myself because of that.) Anyway, there's no "poor area" of our ward...there are no "small houses." And to be honest, it's really intimidating me. don't get me wrong, everyone is so nice, and I'm really trying to love it, but my heart is just not in it. This is not "my house" so it also doesn't really feel like "my ward." I'm not trying to make friends, because somehow I don't think they're really going to relate to me. I'm sure they can, but something about this ward just has been hard for me and I've stayed holed up in the basement...did I mention that for several weeks it was just too hot to go out? Even to swim? It was 108 last week. This week it's cooled off...which has lifted my spirits. I don't think I can take another week of the heat.

General Conference also lifted my spirits, especially Pres. Monson's talk on Gratitude. Guess I really needed to hear it. I haven't been feeling very grateful lately. So I'm trying to be better about that. I'm also trying to keep the basement cleaner. Apparently the older lady who lives upstairs and comes home every other weekend, well, she didn't like my housekeeping skills. (Remember, she has never had kids or grandkids. That didn't help.) But she really got after me, and for awhile we weren't sure we were going to be able to work it out, but we have. Samuel and I are REALLY trying to fix our CLUTTER issues. We're doing much better, but again, it's just all been really stressful lately.

Annie is almost two, and she is ACTING it for sure. Way more tantrums and screaming and defiant behavior than I ever saw from Kalia. It surprises me because she speaks in full sentences, so I didn't think she'd need to resort to screeching about everything. But she does. She sits on time out every day. I'm pretty sure I'm looking at the two-year old version of myself. Payback I suppose? I think it's going to be a long few years with this one though.

Finally, we are struggling with Kalia and her sleeping issues. I wake up every morning and find her in bed with me. That doesn't bother me as much, because it doesn't wake me up at night. I don't LOVE it, and it's not going to fly in the future when we have other kids who will want to crawl in, but what's been bothering me lately is that she is SO tired by 4 or 5 p.m. (no naps anymore of course) but it takes her FOREVER to wind down for bed. Then after she falls asleep, she will wake up every 2 hours and come out to the living room. She just will not stay asleep. And so she's not getting enough good, solid sleep, in my opinion. Thanks to some great suggestions on facebook (thank you friends!) we have made sure she doesn't watch TV after 1 or 2 p.m., I try to make sure she gets more exercise, and I occasionally slip her a small dose of Melatonin. Don't judge on the melatonin because it is helping a LOT and thank you to the friend who was brave enough to share this solution with me.

Okay, a long venting session to clue you in. I won't lie. I've been struggling, but it does feel nice to get it out there. I always feel better when I tell people my problems. I so appreciate the supportive comments and ideas of what to do to make life a little easier. So thanks for reading/listening. :)

And just two little pictures of my three favorite people. Love them. :) Glad they'll put up with me and all my imperfections.

Pretty Stinkin Awesome

In case you missed this on Facebook, Annie, who is now 22 months old, has also learned to swim. Once she saw Kalia swimming on her own, she immediately wanted to get in on the action. She already knew how to kick her legs (like riding a bicycle)- she learned that from her Puddlejumper floatie, so at first she would just slowly move through the water, completely vertical. So I just let her practice and practice and we worked on "big arms", and eventually she got to the point where she could swim (mostly) horizontally. She still doesn't really know how to lift her face out of the water, so I can't say she's all the way there, but this swim across the pool is quite impressive, if I do say so myself. (And by the way, Kalia's introduction of "Ladies and Gentleman!" was all on her own, I don't know where she came up with that.)

So they say the camera adds 10 lbs. I was hoping this wasn't true, but...it is. I recorded this news story and watched it several times by myself. I was happy with the statements they chose to use from our interview, but horrified by the close ups of my face. Can we all just say it together?

WORST ANGLE EVER.

This is exactly why I tell people I am not photogenic. There is only one angle of my face that I like, cause it's flattering and makes me like a generally thin person. I don't see that face in very many pictures. But I forgot the consider it for a video. The angle of the camera and my face during our interview just makes me look like I'm 9 months pregnant. Because that's definitely how my face looks when I've put on lots of weight. However, I am happy with my weight right now, and the shape of my face. So I was super disappointed that my interview shows me with a fat face. I guess I'm overly sensitive about it, fine. But you should see my high school pictures. A fit athletic body, but one chubbbbbbbby face.So yeah. I might have already had a complex.

The first thing I asked Samuel after he watched the news story was, "See how fat my face looks there!? Doesn't it??" At first he felt caught in a lose-lose situation, and he said, "I'm not sure how I should answer this." And I said, "IS THAT HOW I LOOK IN REAL LIFE?" And he said no. (Whew! I was so relieved! I didn't want to believe that I think my face is skinnier than it really is. Again. My issues here.) Anyway, to quote Samuel, he said, "horrible angle for you." (It is nice to have someone who you know will tell you the real truth. I have a few friends like that, and every now and then, I go to them for a straight answer.)

Anyway, I was disappointed, and almost didn't want to share the interview with all my friends! But then I remembered that I am probably the only person (besides my mother) who cares how I look in this interview.

I rewound this and watched it several times, analyzing every clip they got of me. The close ups are awful. But I liked the shots that weren't close ups, and I said, yeah, that's how I think I look...

Ok. Enough whining about my fat face. See for yourself. You don't have to sugar coat the comments. My face doesn't really look like that. I know that. It's just too bad the rest of Phoenix doesn't know it. But Annie sure looked cute! Oh, and be very careful if you use Pampers Dry Max. Check out the facebook page if you want. 11,000 moms can't all be crazy, can they? I'm just so glad we caught it early on before the rashes got blistery.

Kalia turns 3

I just typed a freudian slip (can you type those? I know they are more a slip of the tongue...) anyway, I titled this post "Kalia is 4." Oops. But really I think it's because I've spent the whole year reminding people that she's not 4, not even turning 4. Both sets of grandparents needed reminding that she was turning 3 and not 4. Kalia even thinks she's 4, because her cousins just turned 4. I prepped her for months that she would be turning 3 on her birthday, but when the birthday arrived, she decided she's 4. She is tall. She is smart. She is athletic and very capable of doing anything she sets her mind to. She reasons and speaks and acts like a 4 year old, at least that's what everyone thinks. Okay, enough on that.

I don't like to plan parties. I don't like to make cakes. So we kept it simple this year with a family party with immediate family members of the Bigler family, and one couple from our last ward who we love and it feels like they're family (plus they have 3 girls that get along wonderfully with our 2.)

We swam in the backyard and BBQ'd and had ice cream cake (I made it...it looked kinda lame but tasted delish. Only got a phone pic.) Also had the most divine red velvet cupcakes, thanks to Grandma Bigler.(I love Kalia's face in the background.)
I couldn't deny a cupcake from Annie (ok, she had 3). She still has most of her food allergies/intolerances, so I knew I'd pay for this later, and I did, but it is getting really hard to deny food that everyone else around her is eating. And to quote her as she devoured her cupcakes, "MMMMM!!! I like cupcakes!!!"

Kalia insisted on buying the extra large party hat from the dollar store. She actually wanted to buy one for everyone but I convinced her that she should be the only one wearing the big hat, and that everyone else could wear the normal hats.

We got a smokin deal on craigslist for this bike. We actually got two bikes, two helmets, two sets of knee pads, and a tire pump for $35. The other bike will be Annie's present in November.


I feel a little twinge of sadness when I watch Kalia cruising down the sidewalk on her new bike. When did she turn into such a big girl? I also have a whole new world of anxiety about her being hit by a car, swerving into the road at JUST the wrong instant...that part is not fun for me, but I love seeing her so happy on her big girl bike.


Let's not forget that Samuel turned 33 one day before Kalia's birthday. Poor guy will never get all the attention of his own birthday again. Sorry babe. (We did get to go out just the two of us to a fabulous Thai restaurant and out to a movie. That was wonderful.)
I love it when he wears blue. And I love it when he's scruffy.
These two little girls have been amazing lately. I absolutely love the age and stage that they're at, and they haven't been fighting hardly at all, so I'm just enjoying it while I can. Finally after 18 difficult months, their closeness in age is really paying off and I couldn't be happier about their 14-month age difference. Here Kalia was trying on one of Daddy's belts. Not too bad, eh? She did that on her own.

Kalia also loves to play Reader Rabbit on the computer. It kinda blows my mind that she can use a laptop already. The girls will sit and play this game together (well, Annie just watches mostly) for at least 30 minutes. I love it.


Ok, enough rambling for now.
Bye.