12:40 a.m.

What is wrong with my body? Or mind? Is this what they call INSOMNIA? Today I did everything you're supposed to- up early (8 a.m...but only 6 hours of sleep)...NO NAPPING (a new thing I'm trying) then I worked out hard for once, then I mopped my floors very INTENSELY and now it's almost 1 a.m. I still don't feel tired. I had a major tired "spell" at 5 p.m. but that's normal I'm sure....I do have a lot of excitement on my mind, but this has to stop. Eventually it's going to catch up to me, I know it. Tylenol PM works, but I can't keep using it as a last resort. Any advice is welcome. I'm pretty sure it's about getting my mind to slow down.

Sooooo...here's a pointless silly post. These are my latest CELEBRITY CRUSHES. Don't laugh...I know you have some too! Why don't you just confess them, eh? Most of you know Ryan Seacrest

And Carrie Underwood used to date this hottie, Chase Crawford from Gossip Girl

And THIS one is FRENCH (woohoo!) and I only found him when I stumbled upon Dancing with the Stars one night and HELLO. This man can DANCE!! He's soooooo good. And so cute. His name is Gilles Marini.

And this is Simon Baker from the Mentalist. We love this show, it's funny and clever and his character as Patrick Jane is fabulous. He sounds like he's American, but he's actually Australian (and he's got our accent down!)

Samuel just marched out of our bedroom to ask what I'm doing up...and he thinks this is a very stupid post. Hahaha.

Stay tuned for my next insomniac post...I may just tell you everyone I love from American Idol.

I wonder what would happen if our TV blew up or something. Maybe I could quit watching it.

5 Months Old

Today Annaliese is 5 months old. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe she's that old, Kalia was pulling to a stand at this age. Annaliese is a very content little thing, and is happy to just lay on her back (and roll over occasionally). I'm grateful for a baby who is much slower paced. She is just what I needed. Here's a few things to remember- 5 months old means:

She's found her toes

She grabs everything in sight, usually that's my hair

She's usually pretty quiet, but when she babbles, she really speaks up

Her hair is thinning out (and so is mine!) and she has a lovely mullet

She is fascinated with her big sister, and smiles at her often

She is the squishiest, cuddliest little thing and I can't stop kissing her

She is taking 3 long naps a day, and still sleeping 13 hours at night (and this one took a lot of work to achieve, so we don't take it for granted.)

She gets so excited when I go in after she's been asleep, she starts kicking her legs like crazy and it sure makes me feel loved

Sometimes I can't believe this is the same baby that cried all the time, that never let me put her down, and that wouldn't sleep anywhere but my arms. That seems like a million years ago! She is the complete opposite of Kalia in every way- I can't think of a single way that they are the same, except for their hair color and eye color will probably be the same...anyway, it's just so interesting to me that two little girls could be so different. I think it means they will be even more compatible later on, at least that's how it was with me and my older sis.

April Fools

This is a pregnancy test (a little strip that I got off ebay. They're cheap, only 50 cents each.) It has a single purple line down it. So it is NEGATIVE of course, but I showed it to Samuel and told him it meant POSITIVE and that we were having another baby. He totally believed me! I used my best acting skills to pretend I was really nervous to be having another one so soon.
Samuel and I have never played pranks on each other for April Fools, so maybe this is kinda mean (I haven't told him yet that it's a joke. I'll tell him before he goes to bed. I thought it would be more fun if he spent the day freaking out.) Anyway, I've enjoyed seeing what some of you guys have been doing for April Fools. It was my friend Emma's idea to tell her hubby that she was pregnant- thanks for the idea. :)

Here's two video clips from today- Kalia doing her favorite song and dance on the coffee table and Annaliese doing her water aerobics:

More Faves

These are a few (more) of my favorite things:

1. Crayola Floating Art Desk:
Kalia has been bored with bathtime lately, and in an effort to make it more fun, I bought her this for 9 bucks at Wal-Mart. She LOVES it, and it's amazing how the crayons will draw on the desk when wet, but then it washes right off when you rub it with water. And the big purple and red crayons on the sides are storage compartments. She almost has more fun putting stuff in them than anything else. 2. The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage:
Thank you Emma, for recommending this book. I have never listened to Dr. Laura or read any of her books, but this one has made a HUGE impact on our marriage and I just love this book. Remember my post about complaining? It has really helped me change my ways. BIG TIME. She's so blunt and straightforward, but really quite accurate. It surprised me how often the women she described...sounded just like me. I recommend it to everyone.

3. Olay Moisture Replenishing Mousse Cleanser:

This is a mousse cleanser from Olay. I got the moisturizing one (it is NOT oil-free, just so you know) but I need some moisture in this desert. I have to say, washing my face with a mousse is FUN! And it makes my face soft. If you use this, just use a tiny bit, it goes a long way.

4. L'oreal Infallible Never Fail Lip Gloss.

Website says: "Longwearing lipgloss in only one step! No touch-ups. No top coats. No Feathering. No Fading. Hydrating formula keeps lips soft, smooth, colorful and glossy for six shining hours." They aren't kidding. This stuff is great! It didn't get sticky until about the 6th hour. Stayed on amazingly. This is not kiss-proof though. They have another Infallible product that is, and it works really well too. Watch for the Buy One Get One Free sales to try them!

5. KY Warming Jelly:

This stuff is the greatest on the planet. Thanks to Amy J. for sending it to me right after I got married.

6. Dreyers (or Edy's if you live in the South/East) Slow Churned Ice Cream: Take the Cake:

Thanks to my cousin Holly for reminding me about Slow Churned Ice Cream! We tried out Take The Cake this week and OH MY WORD, I think it is challenging Cold Stone's Cake Batter for BEST EVER! The best part is that it has 1/2 the fat and 1/3 the calories of regular ice cream, and I cannot even tell one tiny bit. So I ate twice as much. Oops.

7. Best new addition to Google Reader: http://365daysofcrockpot.blogspot.com/

Thanks Mel, for letting me know about this one! A girl is posting a crockpot recipe EVERY day for a year! Crockpotting (is that a word?) is so easy, it's about the only way I'm cooking these days. And these recipes are really easy, most of the stuff I have on hand, and she gives the recipes a review (1-5 stars) after she makes them. Seeing the recipes on google reader every days just makes it that much eaiser to think about starting dinner earlier.

Money Money Money

I know absolutely nothing about the stock market. I don't really know what the NASDAQ or Dow Jones is...and I just found out that I can only buy stock between 6 and 1 p.m. Vegas time, since that's 9-4 on Wall Street. Did you know that? Well, I am learning a few little things because we are investing in the stock market for the first time in our lives. I know a lot of people (some members of my family included) have lost a TON of money on the stock market right now. I feel terrible for them, but rumor has it that if you leave your money alone, eventually it will go back up and your money will be back.

Well, we just bought 600 shares of this certain stock, and as soon as the rest of our money transfers over, we're buying about 1500 more. I found a website that only charges $4.50 per trade to do it (zecco.com). The company is called Lifevantage, and their stock is only 45 cents a share right now. (update: It climbed to .60/share today). However, we happen to have some information that leads us to believe that this stock is going to TAKE OFF in the next few months!!

I've heard of Insider Trading, and I know Martha Stewart went to jail for it. I'm pretty sure that what I'm doing is not that, but I better go googling and find out (just googled...looks like we're okay here.) Now, I am about to explain WHY we are buying it, and I am telling you this because I would want someone to tell me this if they knew it. Maybe you can make some money off the stock market too! (And to me...that just feels like free money.) If you are not interested in that, then don't waste your time reading any more (cause this is going to be a little long), but I will seriously kick myself if this stock takes off, we make a lot of money, and I didn't tell anybody about it before it happened.

This company, Lifevantage, has a product out on the market called PROTANDIM. It's been on the shelves of GNC and other stores (as well as online, like at vitasprings.com). Protandim, in a nutshell, is breakthrough in anti-aging. It's an herbal supplement (there are five herbs: Tumeric, Milk Thistle, Green Tea, Ashwagandha, and Bacopa) and apparently a doctor has been working for 40 years to get JUST the right balance of each herb. When you have the perfect ratio, supposedly this supplement causes your body to produce a ton of natural antioxidants, like, way more than you could ever get from eating anti-oxidant rich foods. Now, without going into a huge science course, your body has to deal with something called Free Radicals. They are BAD. They make us age and as they break down they cause something called Oxidative Stress. Oxidative Stress is the cause of over 200 diseases. Antioxidants fight free radicals, and lower oxidative stress. That's why you hear all about the importance of eating blueberries, pomegranate juice, etc. As we age, our body produces less and less antioxidants, thus, our bodies deteriorate and disease often sets in.

Okay, back to Protandim. This stuff has clinical studies that have been published in scientific journals (very important) showing that it reduces oxidative stress by 40% in everyone, old and young. It brings your oxidative stress level to that of a 20-year old, or younger. They call it "patent-pending", and I looked into it, it's true, there are two patents on this product.

Well, Lifevantage has been around for years, but they have not been able to market the product very well. Nobody knows what it is or what it does. So they decided to adopt a multi-level-marketing platform to increase sales and get the word out on what it does. Samuel's cousin approached us about it, even though we NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER join multi-marketing things. We hate sales and don't have the personality to do them. But because of Samuel's cousin's success in another company, he was approached to help found this new marketing campaign, so he was one of the first to know what was going to be happening...and he shared the news with us. The news has rocked our world and kept us awake at night.

Samuel's cousin is very successful at network marketing. He knows a hot opportunity when he sees it. (And by the way, I just barely found out that he invested 12k in this stock!) And according to him, this is the hottest he's ever seen. If you know anything about network marketing, if you "get in" at the very beginning (or on the "ground floor") then after a few months of work and recruiting others, the money starts POURING in. Again, we've never experienced this because we hate MLM's, but we've heard all about how much money his cousin was making. So much it was obscene. And yes we were jealous. Still didn't want to join. Well, he then told us about this Protandim, and we were both like, Hmmm....we want to buy that and take it. Then he tells us that quite a few people are going to want to buy it/take it--there is a HUGE market for anti-aging products, especially if they REALLY WORK...and this one just might!! It's worked in their studies at least.) Lifevantage is recruiting people now, and you don't have to pay any money (for the next few months) if you want to get in to selling it.

We are pretty excited about this. And what I'm getting at is....we did the unthinkable and agreed to try to become distributors. It goes against the grain in every way, but the truth is, we need to get out of debt, and we would probably be complete idiots to pass up an opportunity to get in so early without having to "buy in". When I say early, I mean they haven't even done the "pre-launch yet." This just started about 3 weeks ago, so getting in now means you're at the tip-top of the pyramid. That kind of opportunity is very rare, even without a great product. Plus, like I said, you don't have to put any money down right now. So we're going to give it a try.

Now before you think I'm recruiting you, THINK AGAIN. I did a lame little effort and e-mailed a small group of people asking if they were interested in extra income. It was probably hard for them to believe, but I truly have their best interest at heart- I want everyone I know to get money from this, if they want to. A few people replied, a few of those even talked to Samuel's cousin, but the bottom line is, it was very uncomfortable, and most of those people didn't even want to hear what I had to say, as soon as I mentioned the dreaded MultiLevelMarketing cuss word. I HATE ASKING PEOPLE (FRIENDS) TO DO THIS, AND THEY HATE ME FOR ASKING! It's true! One girl, who is not even really my friend, more of an acquaintence, was SO RUDE to be about it, and it hurt my feelings. Like I said, I was never meant to be a salesperson. Men are better about saying, "It's just business."

So...we are not giving up, but because of that reaction, and the reactions of others that I consider my friends, I am NO LONGER RECRUITING and friends or family, SO REST ASSURED! YOU ARE SAFE! If we make a lot of money doing this, I know you will be happy for us to get out of debt and stuff. If we fail, you can feel glad you didn't join in! Either way, I am going to take more of a "missionary approach" and just work with people I don't know that well. Rejection, at least on my mission, was not quite as bad because they were strangers.

All right, if you're still reading this, I'm coming full circle. The stock is only .60 a share as I write this...It has tripled in the last three weeks. It doubled after Montel Williams (who was on Oprah, but didn't talk about the product) made it known that he is taking AND distributing Protandim. He is supposedly recruiting other celebritites. The stock doubles. A few years ago, ABC Primetime did a special on Protandim, it was 5 minutes long. (You can watch it here, click on the first video.) The stock shot up to OVER 15 DOLLARS A SHARE!) On May 15th (roughly) they are officially going to do the pre-launch. All the distributors also become customers. The company's sales are going to start climbing REAL FAST and so, logically, the stock will too. Do you get where I'm going with this?

I'm saying that I believe this stock is going to go up, FAST, and make people some money. If you want to buy some, GO FOR IT. The "ticker code" is LFVN. I'm making NO guarantees. You have to know when to sell it, or you won't make any money off it it. If you lose money in this, please don't hold it against me. I don't get any benefits from telling you to do this. But it would make me really happy if we all made a load of money off of this!! You are taking on all the risks of the stock market if you want to. We are definitely taking on that risk. We know that realistically we could lose our entire investment, so we are making a very small one. If we do lose it, we won't die over it. That's our take on it. I really REALLY hope it works out for us. I hope it works out for you.

Finally, since I don't really know who I am going to recruit for this, if anyone has ever tried to get you to do network marketing, will you send me their contact info? I am going to go after those people, since they already want to do it, know what I mean?? I'll repay them the favor of "bugging" people. :)

PHEW!! That was long. Now lets just watch that stock and wait...

Answer me this...

I don't know why I was wondering, but...I am!


1. What time do your kids go to bed?


2. What time to YOU go to bed?


3. How long does it take you to fall asleep?


4. When do you fit in time for a shower?


5. How many kids do you think you'll have?


6. How often do you eat ice cream?

Clothes (Follow up)

Thank you for your nice comments about the clothes. I finally made Samuel sit down and tell me what he really thought as I tried on every single thing. The verdict: I am not very good at picking out clothes for myself. DANGIT! The green shirt goes back ("it washes you out") and the yellow cardigan too ("it's not a flattering fit") and my favorite Gap pants are going back too, he said they were just too loose. The smaller size was a smidge too small, but I guess I'll be motivated to lose the last few pounds to get into them, they were so cute and comfortable. It's just sad to me that I don't know what looks good on me. I used to watch "What Not to Wear" all the time. Have I learned nothing? I guess I'll have to take Samuel along from here on out. He's gonna be thrilled.

Fun Times

Warning!! You're about to see pictures that I took of myself in the bathroom mirror!!!! I'm a nerd!!! But let me explain. I had 2 gift cards to the Gap and Banana Republic from Christmas and our American Express points....and then Jaesi sent me a 30% off coupon for this weekend only, AND we have outlet stores for both BR and Gap just 15 minutes away, so I was forced to go buy clothes JUST FOR ME (because all of that is just too good of a deal to let slip away) but you mamas out there know this is a very rare occurence to shop for yourselves, but at times must be done. (Hello run-on sentence!) I was just so excited to get so much "bang for my buck" if you know what I mean. At BR I got 7 things and the most expensive one was only $16!!

Well...I came home to three sleeping beauties, so I was hoping YOU could be excited with me (and tell me if I should keep the following:) Navy blue sweater from Gap (I just loved the cute buttons on the neckline)

Simple green t-shirt: This is way plain, but could be cute with the right accessories. I've just never been a green-wearing kinda girl, but with this new hair color, I'm trying to branch out.
BRIGHT YELLOW. My beautiful friend Kat always pulled this color off so well with her dark hair. I got this cardigan from the Gap and I'm hoping I can pull it off too...however...looking at the picture, I'm not sure. NOW GO AHEAD AND BE HONEST, I don't want to pay money (or, correction, use my Christmas gift cards and 30% off coupon) for things that don't flatter my coloring!! I got 2 pairs of pants, a belt, a necklace, a cute pair of wedges, and 6 shirts and I am feeling so spoiled. I love Banana Republic shirts too, they are the softest ever. So...yes or no on the yellow?

Okay, onto another quick family update. This week we celebrated our Anniversary. I should say our anniversary rolled around, but we didn't really celebrate it yet. In a few weeks we're trying out a new 4-star hotel (only $50 for a Sunday night stay!). I'll let you know. Some of you remember our fabulous stay at the Venetian (click here to see the pictures if you missed them.)

Anyway, my MIL blew up this picture and put it in this beautiful frame for us, and I love it. (Now...where to hang it?)

(Picture by Deb at Funny Face Photography )

Kalia seems to be better from whatever made her so sick...at least there's no more fever or throwing up. I still can't get her to eat hardly anything though, and if she's not outdoors, she is still extremely whiny and quite the cranky monster. (Could it be another tooth? Are the terrible twos hitting early? She just turned 18 months a few weeks ago, so I HOPE NOT!) She is having another "language explosion" and she makes me laugh all the time with her interpretation of words. Sometimes she just surprises me with words I've never heard her say, like the other day she pointed at her food and said (for the first time that I know of) "red, orange, green, blue". She didn't get any of the colors right. But it was still enough to make me smile. She also likes to come find me when I'm cooking or doing laundry and says, "Hep you" and she likes to pour in the detergent or stir the food...if only I could get her to FOLD LAUNDRY!! That's the "hep" I really need. So anyway, most of these pictures are from outside, since that's where she's most likely to smile. Annaliese....oh this little thing is SUCH A HAPPY BABY!! You know, during those 2 months of miserable crying I thought "I WILL NEVER GET THROUGH THIS!" but once we got the allergies taken care of, she turned into the sweetest little thing. When she hit 4 months old (last week) I decided it was time to sleep train her, using a mix of all the books I've read on the subject. I admit, we are not 100% consistent (more like 95%) so we're probably shooting ourselves in the foot (feet?) but she is doing really well, and is probably about 90% consistent in return. She cries for about 30 seconds before naps, then sleeps for 2, sometimes 3 hours. If she gets 3 naps, she will usually sleep through the night until 6 or 7 a.m., but with 1 or 2 dream feeds in there. Every now and then she will just fight it and resist and cry for an hour or two til it's time to eat, so I have to get her up. I hope I can figure that one out. She's in her own little pack and play right now (in the walk in closet. Hey, come on, it's all we've got for now! Nice and dark!) but anyway, I AM HAVING THE HARDEST TIME FALLING ASLEEP AT NIGHT. I love co-sleeping with my babies, and I miss having a warm little head in the crook of my arm.

:( Anyway, it's worth it in the end. Oh yeah, and I was wrong about the eyes. They are turning brown after all. I guess that's one little piece of me that she got, since everyone says she looks like Samuel!! Whatever!! Here's a few recent pics of her:

Bows by Alisha (she can make anything...check her out.)

Here's our stupid van. It's back. You know we aren't driving it anymore, just trying to get it fixed so we can sell it. We found it at a tow place across town. When it got stolen it was at somebody's house getting "repairs" (this guy was/is a total scammer and we got screwed there too but...you live, you learn) and we don't know if he had anything to do with the theft, but it came back with the rear bumper crunched up. Makes me so dang mad. If only we'd had the comprehensive coverage on it, we would have jumped for joy that it was stolen and we were rid of it! But on the brighter side, at least I never have to drive it again.

Well, that's all for now...INFORMATION OVERLOAD! And if you missed the last post, add me to your google reader with biglerfamilyupdates.blogspot.com

The End

Blogging Woes...

Well, I love reading blogs. I love commenting on them, and I love getting comments. My sister-in-law just started reading my blog, (she's pregnant for the first time) and she said it reminded her of the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child"...but then she said, "more like a blog to raise a child." I thought that was clever. I really feel like blogging has enriched my life. However, I've really struggled to find time to do it lately- or at least to read other people's blogs, much less comment. I think I am going to try to limit myself to an hour a day. That should be more than enough to read, comment, and write the occasional post, right? If I don't limit myself, I know I'll spend way too long, and my cleaning schedule will go to pot. So that's a new goal. I've been setting some goals and I'm trying to change bad habits (I just spent that whole weekend cleaning up my bad habits and I'm traumatized. Not really. But motivated to change.)

I think I've turned over a new leaf...the days of total chaos and craziness are mostly over (for now.) Things have really started to calm down around here and I'm really grateful for it. So, that means I finally got my google reader down to zero, but now I have to tackle private blogs next.

I was part of a "group blog update" for private blogs- basically you just tell people that you've updated your private blog, and it shows up on google reader. A lot of you have done this, and I think it's a great idea. I thought I might as well just start my own update google reader thing, since I realize a lot of you don't know the other girls in that group, and wouldn't be able to read the other blogs...is this even making sense? No, oh well.

Either way, add this link to your google reader:
biglerfamilyupdates.blogspot.com
And then you won't have to check in on my blog randomly. Google reader will let you know.

I'll do a better post later...maybe I'll tell you about how our van has been stolen, and we don't know where it is, and didn't have comprehensive coverage on it, so kiss that money goodbye (I can't think about it, it makes me sick.) And then I'll tell you how Annaliese's sleep training is going. And how Kalia got a fever of 104 and threw up all night...our first time dealing with that. But for now my hour is up and laundry is waiting.

Ahhhhhhh....

Wow, it has been a long hard weekend and can I just say it was some dang hard work and I am going to hopefully get a massage TOMORROW! My back is killing me! But it feels soooooooo daaaaaaaaaaang good to have this apartment clean. Samuel will be home any minute, but I thought you might like to see....I got a few new decorations (we are SO bad at cluttering this counter, so I hope this deters us...)And this for a wall...which I will have to have Samuel re-hang, but I wanted it lit when he walked in the door.

Here's the before picture of the clothes from the girls' closet that I had to sort:
Here's the before picture of the laundry. (I was stunned. I had NO IDEA I had accumulated so many dang girl clothes! These are not the same clothes as the ones in the bedroom, mind you.)
Here's the after picture of the closet...
And the girls' bedroom... (don't knock the decorating skills, I admittedly have none and although I do look forward to having a cutesie "girl room" one day, today is NOT the day. Not until I have a house of my own.)
And then instead of using this hutch for CLUTTER, CLUTTER, AND MORE CLUTTER, my friend Marylin helped me display my dishes that have been stuck boxes in a closet.
Now can I just give a huge shout out to Marylin, she spent SEVEN hours with me on Saturday, and I would NEVER have been able to finish if I hadn't had her help. She is the same one who took our family pictures in December, and she was so happy and willing to help me, it just amazes me. People in Vegas are so dang awesome!!

Now I just have to maintain this place, and I am DETERMINED to do it. I have a weekly housecleaning schedule so this doesn't happen again.

I think I hear Samuel pulling up now!!! My babies are home too! Yipee!!!!!!! Just in time.

I'm on Vacation...Me, myself, and I

As I write this, I am sitting in the rent office downstairs, "working." Samuel, Kalia, and Annaliese just drove away (and my heart sunk.) This was actually my idea, I am trying to remind myself. This was to give me a badly needed "break" from my current responsibilities.

I guess I am taking a vacation from being a mom and a wife. How often do you get to do that? Samuel is making the drive to Phoenix with the girls to go visit his parents. They are going to help him take care of them for the weekend while I....well...what am I going to do?

Actually, my schedule is packed. But I am REALLY excited to just ATTACK my apartment and clean it out and organize it from top to bottom. It's needed it for about the last 8 months. But since Samuel is gone, I have to work 9-5 in the office, trying to rent apartments and make phone calls, and I'm even going to go stand on the street with a sign that says "free rent." I am dreading this part, but it's part of what Samuel is doing right now, and we're basically swapping roles.

I'm nervous about being the Property Manager for the weekend. I'm also a little scared that (worst case scenerio) my whole little family will get in a car wreck...or that someone is going to break in on me while I'm alone, but whew, deep breath, I'm sure it's going to be okay. (And I have my little .22 in the drawer next to me, and I know how to use it. Don't be fooled though, I'm still new at shooting guns. But it makes me feel better to have it.)

So, I gave in to the temptation to blog (hey, this computer is right in front of me!) and now I'm going to make a list of everything I need to accomplish this weekend. Then I really do need to get to work. Yuck....I don't really like this kind of work. Oops. No more complaining!! Working on it! (Thank you everyone for the fantastic book suggestions...I am going to read all of the, I already have 3 books in the office with me now!)

1. Sleep 9 straight hours, three days in a row (YIPEE!! CAN'T WAIT!)
2. Fold and put away 12 loads of laundry (as of now....they are at least washed/dried)
3. Clean out both walk-in closets, organize and store all baby clothes (long project)
4. Go through all my clothes that I haven't worn and donate them
5. Clean, scrub, vacuum, etc. etc. every inch of this place.
6. Clean out and declutter all cupboards and drawers
7. Get a massage...if I have time (I got a gift card for Christmas)...I don't think I'll have time.

I'm worried I'm not going to have enough time to get it done- I also have to be in the office Saturday from 9-1. People are inviting me to do all these fun things and I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn them down because this precious "alone time" is going to go very fast.....
WISH ME LUCK!!

Some thoughts about Complaining

I know it's not good to complain. But...it's still something I struggle with. I remember having this conversation with Samuel about a year into our marriage--he was letting me know in the nicest way he knew how that I complain too much. It was kind of eye-opening, I didn't realize how much I was doing it, and I vowed to stop complaining (at least to him). Now, two years later, that same conversation has come up again. It turns out...I'm still complaining, and I didn't even realize it.

I feel bad about it-- what man is going to look forward to coming home to a complaining wife? What do I complain about, you may wonder? Well, lately it's been about how many hours he's had to work. And it makes me mad that the owners, his bosses, don't even appreciate it. All they care about is getting more units rented. They don't give a dang that he stayed up til 1 a.m. trying to get an air conditioning unit fixed, or a leak fixed, or yadda yadda yadda. If they at least APPRECIATED his long hours, I wouldn't feel like complaining about them as much. So I also complain about the ungrateful bosses (Samuel tells me this is very female/emotional, and business is business, he's not bothered by it, but whatever.) On top of that, he has SOOO many meetings for church, you'd think he was in the Bishopric or something. I feel like I hardly ever get to see him. I try really hard not to complain about church obligations, because I'd definitely be more unhappy if he wasn't going to his meetings and doing his home teaching...but I just want to feel like THE FAMILY COMES FIRST. Sometimes it feels like we're last, but honestly, I know he's doing the best he can.

Well, I know I got a little defensive. "Hey, even Sariah complained in the Book of Mormon" I shot back...but I know I need to be better. But I realized that when I complain, or should I say, VENT, I feel so much better afterwards!! Then I had another realization...that's what girlfriends are for! They (usually) know just what to say, such as, "That's hard!" "That sucks!" "It's okay to feel that way!"

Mom's are great listeners too, but I think we have to be careful with that one, I learned in a class once that if you complain about your spouse to your parents, they'll get overly concerned that you don't have a good marriage, since they don't get to see all the great things your spouse does that we all probably take for granted.

I wish there was a really good, helpful book entitled, "How to Not Complain to Your Spouse." I am going to go search for one now. But if any of you have any thoughts on how I can be better at this, I'd love to know.

**Added Later**
THIS book has good reviews on Amazon, and my library has it, so maybe I'll start there.

This smaller cut was so deep, this is the one that severed the sciatic nerve (75%)
This is what I saw when I pulled her out of the bathtub. Most of that blood is clotted. I saw more raw flesh and fatty tissue, like you can see behind the blood clot.

V Day

We had a simple Valentines Day this year-- I was so tired, I just wanted to pretend it was a normal day, but thanks to my mom (a big holiday buff) and Samuel for encouraging me to make it at least a little special. We just did Olive Garden take-out and Cold Stone too. I do have one rule for Valentines Day though-- NO FLOWERS. It's one of the only times of the year that the price of flowers/roses doubles or triples, and there's no way the bargain shopper in me can feel good about the money spent on them. I hate to feel ripped off like that. I told Samuel that he can and SHOULD give me flowers any other day of the year, I really do love them. But please don't waste that money on Valentines Day. I like love letters the most anyway. And chocolate, now that I can eat it again. And I got both this year.

Kalia got a balloon for Valentines Day. She loved it so much, she had to take it in the bath with her. After awhile, the balloon stopped rising- something happened to the helium? Anybody know why this is? I'm sure there's a great scientific explanation. 5 minutes after the bath, it was back to normal.

Well, we are headed back to St. George today for ONE more doctors appointment with Dr. Kaddu, a pediatrician who is a GI specialist. I've heard some really great things about him. Annaliese is still doing pretty good, but she might have a little cold. Kalia has a really bad one. It's been so cold and rainy...I'm ready for some sunshine!!!

Well, sending my love to all my friends, Happy (belated) Valentines Day.

Getting to the Bottom of it...

Who is this baby? It's Annaliese! Look! A smile! Finally caught one. I had to post a few new details about what's been going on (and why Annaliese is feeling a bit better these days.) About a week ago we switched her over 100% to a Hypoallergenic formula by Similac called Alimentum. It's made specifically for babies with milk allergies. We tried it before, but not completely, I would still breastfeed her at night because I was too tired to bottle feed. Anyway, we did find out that this formula is the "lesser of the two evils".... She still has little bumps and rashes that pop up at least once a day, and she has cradle cap and the red ring around her little bum, but she is NOT CRYING ANYMORE!! Unless she's hungry or tired that is. It's such a dramatic difference. We are going to see the allergy doctor Wednesday to see what other formulas we can try so that maybe we can eliminate all her symptoms.

Unfortunately, she has some other things going on since we've started the formula. I hope this isn't TMI for everyone, but she has stringy mucous in her poop. We took her to a pediatrician in St. George, and it tested positive for blood in the stool. Her urine did as well. The doctor thought she might have an infection, but we're waiting on some lab stuff to see if that's the case. My gut instinct says that's not it, but I would love it if I were wrong, because an infection is an easy-fix.


We are still seeing the chiropractor, and some of you mentioned the NAET method, and that is what he is doing on her. He doesn't know how long it will take for it to work on her (he says it always works), but we've been 7 times, and I'm capping it off at 10. It hasn't worked so far. I REALLY want it to work, and I am even pumping to try to keep my milk just in case we can keep doing that. If not, so be it. I took the advice of a good friend to let Annaliese know that I love and accept her just the way she is. She seems to respond to loving words and loving touch, way more so than Kalia ever did.

This picture had to be documented: She has done this twice this week, just falling asleep sitting up in someone's arms. Usually she has to be swaddled and bounced with a binky. So I think this is a good sign. And it's so darn cute. Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and concern. Hopefully we will have more answers soon.

Family Update

Well, just thought I'd give a little update on how everyone's doing. Ready for information overload?

SAMUEL: He's fine. He finally got a laptop (there's no computer in his office downstairs) and we both love it, it's so nice. He also got a motorcycle helmet, because I had a dream that I told him to get one, and then I woke up and had a motorcycle helmet "sale" e-mail waiting for me. We decided it was a sign and that he better get a helmet. (He still doesn't have a working bike, but oh well, plenty of time for that in the years to come. He does have an almost-functioning dirtbike.) He's just enjoying all his new stuff.

HEATHER: Not much to report on me. I have to hold Annaliese for about 80% of my waking hours. I pretty much only put her down when Kalia needs to eat or be changed. She always wakes up when I put her down. More on her later. I am still breastfeeding her and since I'm not eating anything with milk, eggs, soy, corn, tomatoes, onions or broccoli, I have finally started losing weight again (I plateaued for awhile.) I lost 11 lbs last month and have 10 more to go, so hopefully it will keep coming off. Samuel has been patient with me, as I have not cooked or cleaned since the baby was born. Probably because he is distracted by his new toys. And because he is holding Annaliese for the other 20% of the time, and he knows why I don't get anything done. Oh yeah, I did get some new contacts. Somebody accidentally washed mine down the drain. No naming names (but it was not anyone female.) They are hard contacts (not disposable) so I hope this pair lasts me another three years. I am seeing better than ever though!0

ANNALIESE: Her pictures loaded first, so she can be first. Things are still pretty rough with her. There was improvement, but we still have a ways to go. On a positive note, she has been smiling at us for awhile. It's my favorite thing-- waking up in the mornings. She rewards me with the hugest smiles ever. Unfortunately, the SECOND the camera comes out, she looks like she's seen a ghost. Just like this picture:

Her eyes are surprisingly quite blue. We never expected that...my eyes are brown and Samuel's are green. We'll see if they stay this way.
This is Kenya (Tara's 6 month old). We've been to St. George a few times lately, my mom had surgery on her shoulder for a torn-rotator cuff.) She's such a cute chunk, and the best baby I've ever seen.

And here's the girls in matching jammies. Oh, let the matching begin. It's so cheesy and so fun.

So, here's what's going on with her health: Her reflux really got bad, so we gave in and took her to the doctor. She's now on liquid Zantac and doing much better. I guess it was $130 well spent. The doctor found that she had an EAR INFECTION from all that congestion, but that it was resolving itself. Poor little thing, no WONDER she screamed so much. Allergies, reflux, AND an ear infection? Anyway, the allergies are really giving us a hard time still. Milk, soy, and corn are the worst...we've learned through trial and error. The good news is that she doesn't seem to be allergic to wheat. The bad news is the corn-- She is just miserable. So I quit eating it---but it's in SO many things--including baby formula. Even the non-milk and non-soy and the "hypoallergenic formulas" --one of the main ingredients is corn. (I didn't know that. It's like, corn syrup solids and stuff like that.) So it's like...which is the lesser of the two evils...formula with a little corn, or breastmilk with traces of other things? I am trying really hard to not eat anything that bothers her. We also started taking her to a chiropractor. He was referred to us by a friend (he cleared up her boys' allergies in just 5 visits) so we are hopeful that he can help Annaliese too.

I had to take her to the pediatrician again on Monday because she screamed so bad on Sunday night, we almost took her to the emergency room. I was in St. George and my mom and Tara and everybody heard the cries, and they all think something is really wrong with her. The doctor found that it's not her ears (finally better) or throat, but a possible urinary tract infection. They found a little bit of infection in a urine sample, and they've sent it away to do a culture. I don't know what to think, because sometimes she's pretty good during the day (when she's held) but is really fussy at night. So it's almost like we've come full circle. Back to COLIC. Anyway, I am just doing my best to make her comfortable, but it kills me that I can't always ease her discomfort. I think I am tense all the time (and I'm sure she picks up on it and it makes her even more nervous.) Anyway, she really has a sweet little spirit, and I love her to bits, but the Lord is testing me in so many ways with this, and I just keep hoping that I'm learning whatever it is He wants me to learn. Here's a happy moment.

KALIA: Thank goodness, she has FINALLY adjusted to having a sibling. She is not clingy anymore and she's doing so much better with Nursery (she's barely 17 months but they're letting her go anyway) and with babysitters.

My favorite thing that she does is when Barney is on (the same episode, about 6 times a day) she hears the "I love you" song and she comes running to me, wherever I am, and gives me kisses and hugs. She's really become affectionate and I love it. She's talking a lot too, and likes to repeat the last word of sentences. She's really loving spaghetti noodles ("noo-nos") and slurps them up like a pro.

It was pretty funny, over the weekend in St. George we heard her crying a lot, but we just ignored her. Finally someone went and found her on the stairs, stuck. Somehow she'd gotten both legs into her pajamas. Yes, she still has her binkies. I'm not going to try to wean her yet, because Annaliese is taking a binky and so they're all over the house. We'll figure that one out later.

She's getting a lot of teeth, and I don't do her hair unless we go out (basically that's only for church.) So she does run around looking like a little rag-a-muffin (sp?), but I'm okay with it. It's really the least of my worries.

She got this little playhouse for Christmas, it's called the Rose Petal cottage, and it is so adorable. She's a little young to play pretend; I'm sure she'll like the cottage even more as she gets older. But she sure loves it when I crawl in there and read her stories. I miss all the time I used to have with her, but we'll all just have to get over it.

She is so funny and constantly makes me laugh (much needed laughter!!) Whenever we go outside, she either hops or jogs everywhere. I need to get a video of that. She brings me so much joy and I really do love this age.

Just two little clips of the girls. I was trying to get Kalia to talk about her "boyfriend" but she was a little too involved in her book. And this is just a short clip of Annaliese so you can see how she looks. She's almost 3 months old. Well, both babies are screaming now, so....I am done blogging for the day. Goodbye.

Thumbs Up or Down

Here's my latest take on the following random products:

THUMBS UP!! I have been using this razor for over a year, and it is THE BEST! I haven't tried the power one (it vibrates) because I love the regular one. I tried the Venus 5-blade one, but it paled in comparison. THUMBS UP!! Annaliese is still having allergic reactions to things (soy being one) and so I've found a pretty good alternative in rice milk and this "ice cream". (More on her later). This dang thing cost $5 for a QUART. I will try hard not to eat it all in one sitting.

THUMBS WAY UP!! Finally a diaper that Kalia doesn't leak through at night. As many of you know, she loves to drink things (including her bath water right before bed. That girl is thirsty!) We have been doing a midnight diaper change for months now so that she doesn't leak by morning. But thanks to these awesome diapers, we don't have to do that anymore. They have great reviews everywhere online, but they are a little hard to find.

THUMBS medium up on this mascara. You know I am always on a search for the perfect mascara. This stuff really does add length, and I'm getting better at it as I practice, but it makes my eyelashes hard and crispy and I don't like it. The little "tubes" really do wash off with water (although I have to use my fingernail to scrape them off gently, that annoys me too.) I'm curious if any of you have tried this one.

THUMBS DOWN on this old van. We got it repaired (so we can sell it) and I tried to take it to St. George, and it overheated almost EXACTLY halfway between Vegas and St. Geo. It was dark, and I was alone on the side of the road with two crying babies for over an hour, hoping all the molestors would leave us alone (and they did). Terrible night. I did not stay as calm as I should have. THUMBS DOWN on this mascara too. It was very clumpy (even brand new) and kept flaking into my eyes. (Max Factor's Volume Couture is still the best mascara I've ever found, but of course I'll keep searching.)

THUMBS WAY UP on this lip balm. My lips have been sooooo dry this winter. This lip balm from Neutrogena (and all the varieties it comes in) is AMAZING. It's not sticky, but it lasts a long time and it actually seems to heal my lips, and not just put temporary moisture on them.

Dark Hair

All right, here's the story:

The day after my birthday I decided I could FINALLY get around to taking care of my dark roots growing in. I hate those dark roots so bad. I usually go to Evans Hair School in St. George, Robert Evans is the owner and is a close friend of my parents. He did my hair for years, but at some point I started letting his "advanced" students do it, because then I didn't have to go in at 6 a.m. They usually do a really good job. I was feeling a little too washed out and decided to have some dark lowlights put in. I took in a picture of how I wanted it to look, and off she went.
Long story short...I liked it, but it was a little too chunky for me. I went back the next day to have her break up the chunks, but I came out with really thin highlights, and instead of looking like lowlights, I had a light brownish/grayish looking head of hair. I might have been a little too tired, or insane, but I decided that maybe it was a good time to go dark brown. (I should have listened to my friend Sara who says NEVER MAKE BIG DECISIONS OR DO ANYTHING TO YOUR HAIR AFTER HAVING A BABY. But I didn't. I went to Target and bought two boxes of dye, I got a shade DARKER then I wanted, to make sure all the blond was covered up evenly. (That was my first mistake. For those of you with highlights or bleached hair, learn from my mistake: That hair soaks up the dye FASTER so go a shade LIGHTER!) I happened to be in Arizona and we went down to Tucson to visit friends. I talked my friend Kat into helping me do it, (I remember her saying, are you SURE you want to do this? I assured her I did and that I wouldn't hold her responsible in any way for how it turned out.) I made mistake #2 by leaving the color on for a full 45 minutes (trying to cover up that blond!) and my hair came out like this: BLACK!! It was pretty shocking. It looked kind of like a Halloween wig, I thought. It was even darker than this picture shows.
Well, I called my friend Lara, who had a very similar experience. She told me it cost her $200 at a salon to get hers fixed (AUGH!) but that if I wanted to try something on my own, I could go to Sally Beauty Supply and get a color corrector that would "lift" the shade without bleach. (Remember, my hair has been bleached so many times over the years, if I bleached it all again, can you imagine? It'd probably break.) So, I bought the color corrector and did it two separate times. It's now a dark brown, with a bit of red in it. I like it. I don't think I will stay this way forever, but I admit, I feel SO free, knowing my roots can grow and I don't have to stress about it. My natural color is not this dark, so I might have to try another root touchup thing, but oh well, for now, this works. I'm thinking that I might have to cut off my hair before going back to blond, but my sister has been talking about donating to Locks of Love anyway. So we'll see. My 10-year reunion is next summer, so I can't decide if I should go back as a blond or brunette.

And that's the story of how I became a brunette. Maybe people will think I'm smarter or something. :)

Improvements!!

Wow, you guys, SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU SO MUCH. Your advice and suggestions and love and support were SOOOOOOOO HELPFUL in so many different ways. We've seen some major improvements in the last week, and here's what's helping:

1. We put her on an expensive fomula for a few days (specifically for allergies and colic) but it HELPED! She immediately stopped with the rashes and the crying and reflux improved too.

2. I went on a completely dairy-free, egg-free diet. I won't lie. IT HAS BEEN HARD. I feel hungry for a lot of the day. I am basically only eating fruits, veggies, and some meat here and there. I am having major carbohydrate and junk food withdrawls (since sooo much of that crap has milk and eggs in it) but it is getting easier, and the best parts are:
*A* Annaliese is nursing again and doing much better. She still breaks out in a little rash every now and then, but then I can trace it back to something I ate with TRACES of milk or egg in it, and so I'm getting better at not eating things that she reacts too.
*B* I'm eating much healthier. I never would have had the willpower to do it for my own good.
*C* I've lost a few pounds already since starting it.

3. My friend Emily knows sooo much about herbal remedies and what is helpful for what, etc. She gave me some Coral Calcium powder, some Slippery Elm Powder, some Aloe Vera Juice, and some peppermint. She really urged me to do what felt right to me, and since Annaliese kind of refused the "master mix" I made her of ALL that stuff, I really felt strongest to give her lots of Coral Calcium. (Then later I started with more Slippery Elm, to help coat her stomach and intestines and help the reflux.) I'm not sure WHAT is doing WHAT but she started pooping at least once a day, sleeping more both day and night, she only cries for little bits here and there after eating, and her nightly "screaming episodes" are down to about 10-15 minutes, IF AT ALL!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???

4. We give her tiny doses of Mylanta for instant relief when she's hurting. Don't worry, I read online that it's okay, the infant does is 1/8 of tsp (althought I confess we give her more sometimes). If she doesn't continue to improve, I will go ahead and take her to the doctor.

5. I do squats and lunges with her to get her to stop crying, and that works too. And my legs are toning right up. Thanks Mel, for telling me about that trick!

6. Today after she ate she really started crying in pain, and so I tried a new trick-- I turned on a blowdryer and just held it by her ear (pointed away of course) and she stopped crying immediately. 5 minutes later I was able to rock her to sleep. GOOD TO KNOW!

Soo...it appears the worst is over. I am feeling so much better. I got a good chunk of sleep the other night (thanks to Samuel and also some Melatonin) and it's just so true, everything is easier when you're not so tired!! Also, Emily gave me an herbal mix called "Happy Juice" and that stuff makes me feel good--the emotional equivalent of a good workout, I'd say! If anybody wants to know more about that awesome stuff, please ask!!

Annaliese is just a different baby. She is smiling so much more and her eyes are brighter and she's more alert. As soon as our insurance comes through (any day now) I am going to take her to the doctor anyway just to have a chat with him, and also find out when I can get her tested for allergies and maybe asthma. She's still wheezing and stuff, but not as bad. I'd also like to know if I should eliminate (or add back) anything into my diet.

I'm just so grateful that things are finally turning. The last month has been miserable. Finally things seem to be making sense, and I can look back and see that I WAS learning from it all, and hopefully progessing in the eternal scheme of things. I hope I can add "improved patience" as a benefit from all this too. It's felt like quite the refiners fire, but I was told in a blessing that things were "working together for my good" and of course I need to trust that, even when I can't see it when things get too hot in that fire.

Thank you again for your loving support and for all the great ideas. I'll (of course) keep you updated on things.