I've been pretty much feeding her every few hours, including through the night. A couple times she's gone 4-5 hours at night, especially if I'm careful and I don't let her take long naps during the day. Usually by the second feeding (around 6:30 a.m.) I just pull her in bed with me and feed her, we both fall asleep, and she doesn't get burped or changed. That's how this happens:
Cute, I know, but I don't think any of us sleeps very soundly with her making lots of noises and grunts . Anyway, I love sleeping with her, but I think it's time we all started getting better rest. Here's a few things I need advice on:1. Swaddling: It's too warm to do it here, unless we turn our air conditioner on. It's worth it to me to turn it on every night, and swaddle her, if it makes her sleep better and longer. But what about during the day? She's constantly waking herself up with her startles and flailing arms. When will this stop?
Which brings me to my next question:
2. I want her to learn to go to sleep on her own, so I've been getting her drowsy
(usually by holding her, putting her in the swing, or the bouncy chair) then laying her down, but as soon as she feels herself going down, she wakes up, gets all disoriented and totally wakes up, and I have to start over, usually several times. (nice double chin by the way, eh?)Is there a trick to this? Is swaddling day and night for every nap the answer? Or do I make her just cry herself to sleep with her flailing limbs? (This is really hard for a first time mother, no doubt, but it's especially hard here because we're in this tiny apartment and everyone has their windows open, and I can't escape the cries. Neither can any of the neighbors.)
We are going to St. George next week (more on that in a second) and I'm thinking maybe I'll try the "cry it out" method at my mom's house, since there are solid walls and doors to block out the crying...what do you guys think? Maybe I'll just let her sleep naked on her changing table, since that's like her favorite place in the whole world. Just kidding.
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Finally, I am THRILLED to say that we're COMIN' HOME for a visit!! YEAH!!
WE ARE GOING TO BLESS KALIA ON SEPT 30TH AND ANY OF YOU WHO'D LIKE TO COME ARE INVITED. The church is on Brigham Road (the East chapel, furthest from the freeway) and the ward meets at 9 a.m. The address is 1222 E. Brigham Road. We'll probably have lots of people over at the house on Sunday and Monday, so anybody is welcome to come. And we are planning on coming to Mother's Group on Wednesday. And someone is my ward is having a baby shower for us on Thursday evening, and a Dixie Football game on Saturday night that my BIL Wayne is playing in, so there's a whole variety of opportunities for us to see each other- I'd love to see any of my blogging friends, especially since I haven't seen many of you for years.
Well, speaking of a sleeping baby, she finally is asleep, and this is probably my only chance to shower. Ta Ta for now.
24 comments:
I am a big fan of swaddling. We literally kept Lincoln swaddled for the first three months. He was born in June so it was during the hottest months of summer that he was all wrapped up. We would just strip him down to a diaper & then use the really light cotton blankets to swaddle him. (Do you have any of those? I can send you some if not.) That way he wouldn't get too hot but would still be a tight little burrito. Maybe you could just turn a little fan on her if you still felt like she was too hot. But we would swaddle him for every nap & at night & any other time he would get too upset. (Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? It's sooo good & it's tips worked wonders for Lincoln!!)
I think patience is the key here. You really are teaching her HOW to fall asleep so it will take time. But she will for sure get the hang of it. It might be too soon for the CIO method...although letting her cry for a few minutes (5-10?) would be ok, but I wouldn't let her cry for like an hour or something.
Mmm...good advice Crystal. I've had two tips from others to read HB on the block...I am on a waiting list at the library! By the way, I am trying your fan advice right now...I'm blowing it on her head and letting her sleep swaddled in a light sheet...in the boppy. We'll see how that goes! As for light cotton blankets...where did you find big ones? She is kicking out of EVERYTHING with those legs!
I bought the HB on the block and loved it! I have learned that at night not to wake my baby to feed, just let her wake up on her own, that way she isn't 'use' to getting fed every few hours. I also did the swaddling-to get the bigger blanket I just went to wal-mart and bought a yard (or yard and a half) of the thin light weight flannel.
I didn't use the CIO until she was atleast 8 months old so she was actually old enough to 'understand' that it was time to sleep. But would let her go a few minutes when she did cry so she wasn't too use to getting picked up the second she started fussing! I started putting her on a napping routine when she was a few months old and was awake and alert alot more during the day, that way she knew it was naptime/sleeptime when she was placed in the bassinet/crib! Good luck!
I never did have the heart to let her cio, but a lot of people told me about it. I would just rock Anna to sleep and then lay her down. I loved the time with her when she was falling asleep. I would swaddle her as well (she was born in July too). Carter's has the best knit receiving blankets! I loved them and they were so soft!
That's awesome you guys are coming to Saint George. I'd love to see you. It's starting to cool off right now and the weather is great. I love this time of year!
I saw Tara today, she looks good! It was fun to see her cute little ones!
Oh the saga continues at my house. I just listened to Andi cry for ONE hour.. good times had by all.
As for swaddling, it never worked for Andi. She wanted her cute little chubby arms out and above her head. She slept way better that way. I would feed & burp her & then just lay her down & she'd fall asleep on her own at about 1 month. This has been the case until recent (she's in a toddler bed now, it's been a nightmare!!).
Every little one is so different. Just be careful with he sleeping with you guys.. it's super easy at the wee hours, but she will get used to that & expect it.
It will get better and she'll start sleeping like a champ in no time! Sounds like you're doing a great job!
PS- I sent that little package out to you girlies today to SG! I hope you have a wonderful time there relaxing!
hey.... we definitly wrapped the twins up tight before they went to bed for the night....they slept a lot better that way. during the day we didn't wrap them up as tight. about letting her cry, i would say maybe wait till she is little older. i dunno. i think she will eventually learn how to put herself too sleep. and don't worry im sure mom will get up with her in the night! she wants to come get you guys from vegas so she can be First to see Kalia! anyways can't wait for Maddux and Malakai to meet their new cousin!
Neither of my boys liked to be swaddled. They were both born early and i believe it was because they were too "scrunched" and hated it. (I am VERY clausterphobic, so that must be genetic, or something.) I dont know what the trend is today since it is always changing, but even though they said not to, I put them both on their bellies to sleep and it made all the difference. (Drake had acid reflux so bad that I was more worried about him sleeping on his back and choking.) Who am I kidding giving sleeping advice, Drake still does not sleep through the night..... Good luck. Just remember that when she is five, you will be wishing you could rock her to sleep, so try to enjoy it!
I too am a fan of swaddling. My 4 month old still gets swaddled. In baby wise it tells you that most babies won't begin in a real sleep pattern until they are 6 weeks. I really believe that. I would say that your little one is too little to cry it out. I believe that if you can just hold out until about 6 weeks than you can start on some crying. Once they are 6 weeks you can expect up to 2 hours of wakefullness and then time for a nap. I find that Callie is the happiest when we stay on that schedule. So if she wakes up at 7am she is back down at 9am. She typically sleeps from 40 min to 1hr for her day naps. 3-4 naps a day. Then for bedtime she goes down around 8:30pm sleeps until 12 or 1 am. But the bottom line is. Every baby is different and every mommy can handle differnet things. All 3 of my babies have slept in my bed. There are studies that link that with security and other positive emotional issues. Then on the flip side of that there are risks. I've had some babies that sleep in their swings because of acid refux etc. But you are right that you do need your sleep. I say, do whatever allows you all to be the happiest. Good luck little mommy. That picture of Dad and baby asleep is darling.
i read so many different things on this too when brener was tiny. i worried about the same things. so i just asked my pediatrician and he said that newborns don't know how to cry for comfort things. if they are crying that means that they "need" something. i.e. food, changing, burped. so he said for the the first few months just give them what they want and need and attend to him quickly when he demands it because this is the time that they learn who they can depend on and build trusting relationships. he said once he gets to about 6 mos. try the cry it out method. so, i did everything he said. and, by 2 weeks brener only woke up once a night to be fed and then he slept 8 hrs straight by 2 mos. the rest is history...he's a great sleeper. i really don't think that there's a special method that works for every baby. they're all so different. the important thing to remember is that you're the mommy and you do know best. so, my best advise is to just be patient and get to know kalia just like you're doing. it will all work out.
I totally understand where you are coming from. By about 2 weeks I was ready for Addi to sleep through the night and of course she was not. I whole heartedly agree with the last comment. When they are this little you give them what they need when they need it. I read every book and they drove me crazy with so many different ideas and methods. I wish that I never read any and just followed my instinct. Addi was not a good sleeper at first and I had to rock her for hours to get her to sleep. Good work out though. At night I would just feed her and then lay her back down and she would go to sleep as she got bigger, but naps where not that easy. At about 4 mo I started the cio for her naps and I have not rocked her to sleep since. She knows when she is tired and will point to her crib and will play for a few minutes or whine but always is asleep in 10 minutes. It was hard to hear her cry at first but I knew it was because she was tired. As for sleeping through the night that did not come till 5 mo and that was because I let her cio one night when she woke up. I went in, assured her that I was there but told her it was time to sleep. She cried for a LONG time, but now sleeps through the night (except when teething). It only took one night of crying and it is worth it. I love my sleep and I feel like a much better mom when I get it. Will I do the same things with the next baby? I don't know. They just are all so different. But it is so important to teach them to sleep if they aren't learning on their own. Addi hated swaddling and that ended the day we got home from the hospital. So I had no luck with that. Just know that you will sleep again and this is not how it will be forever.
I totally understand where you are coming from. By about 2 weeks I was ready for Addi to sleep through the night and of course she was not. I whole heartedly agree with the last comment. When they are this little you give them what they need when they need it. I read every book and they drove me crazy with so many different ideas and methods. I wish that I never read any and just followed my instinct. Addi was not a good sleeper at first and I had to rock her for hours to get her to sleep. Good work out though. At night I would just feed her and then lay her back down and she would go to sleep as she got bigger, but naps where not that easy. At about 4 mo I started the cio for her naps and I have not rocked her to sleep since. She knows when she is tired and will point to her crib and will play for a few minutes or whine but always is asleep in 10 minutes. It was hard to hear her cry at first but I knew it was because she was tired. As for sleeping through the night that did not come till 5 mo and that was because I let her cio one night when she woke up. I went in, assured her that I was there but told her it was time to sleep. She cried for a LONG time, but now sleeps through the night (except when teething). It only took one night of crying and it is worth it. I love my sleep and I feel like a much better mom when I get it. Will I do the same things with the next baby? I don't know. They just are all so different. But it is so important to teach them to sleep if they aren't learning on their own. Addi hated swaddling and that ended the day we got home from the hospital. So I had no luck with that. Just know that you will sleep again and this is not how it will be forever.
I am so excited that you are coming. Is your honey coming too? I would love to meet him. I want to come to the blessing and totally to the shower! Let me know the details on that if you have a chance...
as for sleeping babies...I wouldnt try anything until you are back into a set schedule. A week might not be long enough to get it to work.(cry it out way)
Just enjoy sleeping with her right now while she is so little....then they start stealing your covers and taking most of the bed!
allyson had the same problems with flailing her arms in her sleep! swaddling worked wonders for her-and i swaddled her until she was strong enough to bust out of the covers! i think that's a good idea to use a sheet, especially since it's hot, all you need is to get her arms snug and it makes all the difference--maybe you could just buy a flat sheet or get an old sheet and cut it to size or something--also a fan works good for extra air (and for cutting down noise, i still have allyson sleep with a fan because we live near a busy road and sometimes it's noisy) i agree with others that she might be too young to cry it out...the best thing that worked for me, was that when she would wake up in the night i would go to her and put back in her binky, re-swaddle her, kind of comfort her (not hold her) and give her a chance to go back to sleep-and use feeding her as the last resort, and then that way you know if she's just waking up by habit, or if she really is hungry. Also, doing that is a good way to help her fall back asleep on her own, so that later on if she does wake up she'll fall back asleep without your help.
Heather, I went to a fabric store and just bought really light cotton fabric. I just cut it big enough so I could swaddle Bryce and then sewed the edges so they woudldn' fray. It wasn't the prettiest blanket on the block but it did it's job.
I had a bishop tell me some great sleeping advice. (He was also a doctor.) He asked me how Ethan was sleeping and at the time, he was sleeping HORRIBLY! I couldn't handle the thought of making him CIT and told him this. He said, "Go in there and feed him or change him or whatever he needs and then lay him down. The rest is up to him." It made me feel better to go in there and make sure his needs were met but then the falling asleep part was up to him. It's hard to let your baby cry but since you have neighbors, you may need to "train" her during the day when a crying baby isn't as big of a deal as it is at night when they are trying to sleep. Feeding every couple of hours isn't uncommon at her age either (unfortunately). Just remember that this too shall pass!!! You will eventually sleep again.
I love you and wish I could see you when you bless the baby!
OHHHHHHHHHHH please don't make her cry! No I'm just kidding, do what you want but I'm such a softy I can't handle the CIO method. I just couldn't stand him going to sleep not content. That peaceful look on there face after feeding and rocking just stole my heart! I too read every book and then followed the advice of my pediatrician....THROW OUT THE BOOKS and that babies write their own stories and they won't fit any mold you read about, just follow your instinct :) I spoiled him rotten and then at about 9 months he just kind of figured it out and all I had to do was put him in his crib and he'd go right to sleep and he still sleeps fine. I wish I were in the area when you'll be visiting but I'll be up here in the North but I hope you have a wonderful visit.
The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is excellent. It helped me a lot. Other than that, just do what your instincts tell you. :)
THANKS EVERYBODY! Your advice is wonderful. I love having so many people to turn to...I'll let you know how it all works out. For now, I think you're right, she's a little too young for me to try to start molding her. I think I'll add a little more consistency (like maybe a bath every night) and swaddle her every night (get some more light blankets) and see what happens. She did a five-hour stretch last night, I'm pretty happy. Anyway, if anyone else has other ideas, please leave another comment!
Oh I love the advise! It will all come in so handy once I have a little one!
I will for sure be at the baby blessing. Your parents are in my sisters ward. She just lives down the street on Hillrise Circle. Cya you soon! I am so excited to meet little Kalia!
Now at four months Kyla is to the point where she wants to put herself to sleep. For a couple months, though, I did what you are doing--rock her until she gets drowsy and then put her in bed with her binky so she can do it herself. It was not always successful, but keep doing it. She'll eventually get it. Have you tried the Swaddle me blanket? Is it too hot?
I use a fan, too, mostly for the noise. I don't know if it helps or not, but I still do it. Good luck. I'm sure you'll find something that works for you.
Heather.... I hope to see you somewhere a long the way. Mom, Jaxan and I will be at the blessing for sure. It will be my first time back in that ward in 4 years. Crazy!!! I know. Anyway. My pediatrician said that babies Kalia's age are to young to comfort themselves when they cry, so she won't do the cry herself to sleep method. I never swadled Jaxan. She had her days and nights mixed up and that was a pain. I had to force her to stay awake most of the day and she started to sleep really well through the night. She liked sleeping on her stomach, though docs say it's bad it was the way she slept the best. I just made sure there weren't any blankets around her face.
Heather I wish I could make it down to St. George, but I had three other friends that just had thier babies and blessing theirs this weekend and next, and one having her baby today, and 4 more friends due this next month. Sorry. Lety me know how things go.
It's so hard when they aren't sleeping through the night! But, she will get there... eventually! I read all those same books, but I don't think at that age they understand enough. I didn't let Kate CIO until about 8 months. I might do it a little sooner with the next babe, but I'll probably still wait until he's around 6 months old. Good luck though!
im so glad i can get to your blog again! i know this post is a few days old, and you got lots of comments with great advice, im sure (i havent taken the time to read them) but for sam, sleep was never an easy thing. he woke up lots at night, he would take only 3 or 4 20 minute naps a day, and it was all i could do to stay sane. then at about 6 months, completely on his own, he started sleeping through the night and taking at least hour naps. i guess my point is all babies are different, and no matter how hard you try, you cant force them to do something they arent ready to. anyway, kalia is cute as can be! good luck!
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