"Oh Be Not Dismayed..."

It was during a a rest hymn that we sang "How Firm a Foundation." I know those words and have sung that song a million times, but this time it caused tears to stream down my face.

"In every condition, in sickness, in health, in poverty's vale, or abounding in wealth. At home or abroad, on the land or the sea, As thy days may demand...so thy succor shall be. "

"Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed. For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand. Upheld...by my righteous Omnipotent hand."

You guys, I have been trying to write this post for several days now but I haven't been able to do it. I just can't seem to find words for it. But I'll give it my best shot. Sorry, but some of the details are confusing.

The original plan when we moved into this house and this neighborhood was for Samuel to work 20 hours a week for the owner of the house so we could get free rent and utilities. Then, he'd spend his other 20 hours/week as the Property Manager of the apartment complex in Phoenix. After about 4 days we discovered this arrangement was not going to work. The property that Samuel was working at was a MESS. The owner (his name is Tony for future reference) told Samuel he had 60 days to get it all figured out, and then he had another property he wanted to add to his load. There was no way that Samuel could sort through the mess of that property in 20 hours a week. It needed 60 hours a week for about 5 months. So Samuel told the owner of the house (we'll call him J) that he would no longer be able to work for him in exchange for free rent. We started paying rent instead (at a discounted rate, since the house is for sale and we were showing it at the time.)

He started working CRAZY long hours at the property, and he worked his butt off. At first Tony treated him well. He wined him and dined him and promised all kinds of bonuses and future advancements. BUT, he kept paying Samuel for 20 hours a week (promising that would change once the 60 days were up). So to say we were living on a tight budget would be an understatement, but we were able to make it for those two months.

Within the last few weeks though, Tony became increasingly asinine and verbally abusive. Not only did he have the worst potty mouth of anyone I know (F-words nonstop all day, from what Samuel told me) but he started berating and belittling Samuel, calling him things like "stupid", "dumb" and "blind"...and for reasons that didn't even exist. He would come home dejected and depressed, partly because his boss was treating him so badly, and partly because he never got to see his family (kids always in bed when he got home) and because he was getting paid PENNIES to do it.

It's a long story how it all went down, but last week Samuel was replaced with a new manager. Tony tried to pull a fast one on him and lied to him, telling him he was bringing in some "temporary help" but it turned out to be Sam's replacement. It was so obvious what was going on, Samuel knew for a few weeks that he was probably getting replaced, but Tony would lie about it and so we hung on to a thread of hope that maybe that wasn't the case. But not only was that really the case, when it happened Tony made up some bogus story so that he could "Fire" Samuel "with cause" instead of laying him off (that means Samuel wouldn't qualify for unemployment.) He just basically screwed Samuel over in every way possible, after Samuel worked so hard for him. I just hope Samuel has some ego left after all this. (Come to find out, that Tony has gone through 5, no, Samuel is the 6th, manager in SEVEN MONTHS. Tony thinks somebody is going to work a miracle on his property but he's really just digging himself into a deeper hole by not letting anyone stay there long enough to make any progress. I hope Samuel feels good about lasting the longest...)

Well, we are going to file for unemployment anyway and hope the state will determine he is eligible. They must have a way of dealing with owners who try to get out of paying unemployment by "firing" without a good cause.

In other bad news, the job working for the owner of the house (J) is no longer available. To make that even worse, on Saturday we had 3 people knock on the door asking us if we were renting the house. We told them no, it's for sale, not for rent. But finally we realized something was wrong and we got on craigslist only to find THIS ad. Yes, that's right, our house was up for rent. The owner of the house (who knows Samuel lost his job) just decided to find a new renter AND J DIDN'T EVEN TELL US. He's trying to get $300 more than what we're paying him. I'm sorry, I can't hold this in, I THINK HE IS A GREEDY JERK and I wish I could use stronger language but I did just listen to conference yesterday. Seriously though, what kind of person does that? He's selling the house in a few months for crying out loud. He's not paying the mortgage, he's pocketing the money. And he's just kicking us out on our butts? We have enough money to pay rent for the last few months before it sells. He didn't even ASK us what our situation was. We absolutely cannot understand this behavior from an active member of the church. I seriously need to pray for charity for the guy, because if I see him anytime soon, I won't lie, I will want to rip his head off.

I don't think J knows that WE KNOW that he's looking for new tenants, but it will probably all come out today or tomorrow. The good news for us (and bad for him) is that we do have an actual rental contract that says that he (J) has to give us 30 days notice to move out. He obviously doesn't realize that contract is in force, or he wouldn't be trying to find a tenant BEFORE notifying us and giving us our 30 days. So that's my one little piece of retribution that makes me want to smirk and say "ha ha"...just like a little kid.

So, our world basically fell apart. Our two months of peaceful bliss in a beautiful neighborhood and house...well, soon it's all over.

I have had a hard time feeling peaceful and trusting...last time it was so easy, but this time I have been filled with fear and anxiety. Was this part of the plan all along? Or did we not learn what we were supposed to the first time?

So, if you're wondering what's next...well, we are too. We have no idea. Not much of a plan. But we are feeling more humble than ever. We heard someone in conference say that the question we should be asking is, "What wouldst thou have me do Lord?" and as obvious as it seems, we needed the reminder. Sometimes we feel like we have to figure out the solution on our own. But we need to know what the Lord would have us do, because obviously He is still trying to teach us something.

Elder Clayton's talk about carrying our burdens hit me really hard on Saturday morning, and one part of it in particular seemed to be just for me, and me alone. It's almost too personal to share but I am very very grateful that it happened to be one of the talks my kids were quiet (or absent? where were they?) during...cause I needed to hear it. Samuel said he got some answers in the Priesthood session.

So, if you're wondering if we're going to move in with Samuel's parents, well, we hope it can be avoided. We love them dearly, but frankly it would be hard on everyone. It's a small house and there's definitely no room to store any of our furniture. We do have the option if absolutely necessary though, and of course if it's the will of the Lord.

And so now you might understand why tears were streaming down my face as I was reminded that even in poverty's vale we should "fear not" because He is with us and will "still give us aid." And we are sure going to need it. We need him to "strengthen" us, "help" us, and "cause (us) to stand." And there will probably be times that he will have to hold us up entirely. And so I just remember the promise, "As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

Your prayers are appreciated (once again.)