An Informed Decision

"The damage caused by vaccine exposure is massive. It's bigger than asbestos, bigger than tobacco, bigger than anything you've ever seen." -Mark Blaxill, VP of Safe Minds

Yeah, so...why beat around the bush. Vaccines. Let's discuss.

A part of me has been dreading this post. One, it's going to take a long time to write this up (update: going on a week)- it's sort of like a mini research project. And two, I know that some of you are not going to like my views on the subject, and as I've learned, this topic can raise some pretty strong feelings. And guess what, I DO care what people think about me. I DON'T like to feel like people don't respect me. So I understand what I'm putting on the line here. It's worth it to me, because I am trusting that whether or not you agree or disagree, you can at least give me some kudos for spending the time to look into it. And really that's all I ask. Let's just look a little deeper into it, then you can take it with a grain of salt-- but this is an important decision, and at least let me assist you somewhat in guaranteeing that that decision is an informed one. Informed as in...you're getting ALL the information, not just partial bits and pieces of the truth

So GET COMFORTABLE, I know this is kind of overwhelming, this much information at once. Skim over it and read the things in bold if you want...either way, I promise you it will be worth your time. If you still think this is a bunch of bogus after you're done reading, that's fine-- but I don't know how you can come to that conclusion after learning the things that I've learned. And one more disclaimer..., I really REALLY don't like confrontation or debate. So it's hard for me to open my mouth on this subject. And if you don't agree with my opinion, that is OKAY, but I respect you enough not to attack your personal mothering decisions, and I hope you'll do the same for me. It's been a little bit painful to have people personally rip you apart for standing up for what you believe is right (for your child)- I won't lie, it hurts. The last time someone did it, a perfect stranger, it made my hands tremble. It was upsetting. But I feel better prepared with REAL SCIENCE to back me up. And my hope is that some of you will be more understanding about why people like me, choose not to follow the "suggested vaccine schedule." And I hope that some of you will take the time to look into exactly what is in the vaccines we are giving our children, and read the studies about how effective they are (not). I KNOW THAT I AM IN THE MINORITY HERE. (although the numbers of people who are supportive of this are growing every day. It doesn't take long to see what's really going on here.) I know that the majority of you will not agree with what I have to say. You might even decide you don't want your kids to play with my kids, since they are no longer vaccinated, and as people LOVE to point out, my kids are now a huge risk to your kids. (I think that's a little silly, but I respect your right to make decisions that you believe are best for your children.) I don't want you to feel like you have to defend yourself or your choices. But I DO feel the need to defend my choices, because the problem with this issue is that people are not fully informed or educated on what is going on with the vaccine industry right now. MY POINT IS: NO HATERS, OK? Be nice in your comments. (if you can't tell, I've had enough bad experiences with people basically ridiculing me for this-- so I'm a bit sensitive about sharing this with my friends.)

Now. Just to be clear. I DO believe that vaccines were intended to be helpful to us, and that in theory they are (WERE) a blessing to the world. Especially in foreign countries, etc. But what happened is that the vaccine manufactures (and others involved) got GREEDY- they saw BIG dollar signs and it turned into one huge money-making operating, and the health of our children is no longer their priority. In fact, they knowingly produce and manufacture things that will cause damage. THEY EVEN KNOW HOW TO MAKE VACCINES SAFER FOR US, BUT THEY (AS OF NOW) REFUSE TO DO IT. BECAUSE IT WILL TAKE AWAY A LOT OF THEIR PROFITS. Here's just one example. A recent investigation by Money Magazine reported that:

"For decades, American pharmaceutical companies have known how to produce the safer DPT vaccine but decided not to bring it to market because it would increase production costs and lower the drug’s 50% or higher profit margins."

But you and I really can make a difference- I've chosen to refuse these vaccines until they manufactures can give me better, safer, options. Let me share a bit of my backstory that brought me to this point. First let me tell you of my most recent experience in trying to share my point of view.

About 2 weeks ago, a friend/acquaintance from high school posted a link on his facebook page last week, kind of ripping on someone who claimed the HPV vaccine caused lifelong damage to her daughter. Since I don't know him that well, and certainly don't know his family or most of his friends, I decided to speak up and share my opinion.

I WAS BASICALLY EATEN ALIVE by his friends for voicing my opinion. What bothered me the MOST was that the main guy (not my friend from high school--his cousin or something) who was doing all the ridiculing/attacking absolutely REFUSED to even look into the studies I was suggesting. I'll quote him: "I'm not impressed by your 1000 "studies" either, nor do I have the time or inclination to research bogus claims when there's a clear and reliable scientific consensus in favor of vaccination."

You know what that attitude reminds me of? People on my mission- we'd ask them to simply read the Book of Mormon, and pray about it, and find out if it was true. Find out what's in there before you go bashing our religion! People LOVED to bash our beliefs and they LOVED to tell US what we believed- and they were always so far off, it was laughable. It was frustrating that these "bashers" would never actually listen to us teach, or read the book... because they were so sure that they "already knew" what we believe- or else they thought we were brainwashed, or whatever- I used to think to myself, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE by gathering more information? Nothing- you only stand to gain from the education, and then you can say you honestly looked at all sides, and came to your own conclusion. I believe that a lot of people are too afraid to really look into my religion, because they are afraid of what they'll find- afraid that it might turn out to be true. So, on that note, I wish people wouldn't be so afraid to look into this subject. I wish they wouldn't be so quick to just blindly believe what they read in Parenting Magazine or on that pamphlet in their doctors office.

Ok, so back to the facebook thing. I had shared with everyone that before they be to quick to attack me, to please just research the other side of the argument, and to take a look at this book called Vaccine Safety Manual for Concerned Parents and Health Practitioners. It is a book written by Neil Miller, a medical research journalist by profession. It is 560 pages long and cites over 1000 studies that have been done all over the world, not just the U.S., over the years. Most of these studies have been published in peer-reviewed medical journals. (Meaning they were definitely done properly and were reviewed by other medical professionals before being published.) The things he found from all these studies, well, they are jaw-dropping. You can hardly believe it-- it is extremely compelling evidence to show that our current vaccines ARE NOT SAFE TO BE GIVING TO OUR CHILDREN, and are not working as well as we are being led to believe- thus, the risk is NOT outweighing the benefit. I cannot accept the recommended schedule that is being pushed on us today. Now before you get all huffy and say, "My doctor knows best, and he says they're safe!" Well, just hear me out, and take a look at this research. Take it to your doctor if you want, but just take a look and decide for yourself.

I didn't always feel this way. I was raised in a family that believed in vaccines, and all my siblings got their shots, and now they give their own kids the shots as well. I was a FIRM believer in them when Kalia was born...but to be honest, I knew almost NOTHING about them, except they were supposed to help my baby not get diseases. And she was my whole world, and I would do anything to keep her safe, so there was no room for argument on the matter.

My husband was raised in a family that is much more into homeopathic and natural medicine. He tried to very kindly hint that he didn't think the vaccines were the right way to go. But he didn't push it. I almost laughed at him, and even remember saying to myself, "Ha- yeah right, I am the one who takes her to all her appointments, so he can't stop me from vaccinating her!" He kept mentioning it though, as she got the Hep B shot at birth, and then the 2 month, and 4 month shots. At that time, I got sick of him bringing it up, more specifically, he wanted to talk about how the rate of autism is sky rocketing, correlating with the increase of vaccines throughout the years. So, I set out to prove him wrong. I am a master researcher, especially online. I can find almost ANYTHING out there. I knew that the simplest way to debunk his autism theory would be to find a study or even a simple observation about autistic children who were NOT vaccinated. That way I could say, "See, non-vaccinated kids get autism too."

The weirdest thing happened. I couldn't find ANYTHING OF THE KIND. I researched for hours, wondering why on earth I couldn't find info on non-vaccinated autistic kids. In fact, the real kick in the pants was that I found a published study that found that Amish people (the ones who still drive horse and buggy's instead of cars, and don't use electricity or modern technology, etc)- well, they also don't vaccinate their children. And guess what- there are no autistic kids among them! (actually, I believe that there exactly two autistic children among them at the time, and both had been adopted and most likely vaccinated before the adoption.)

(Later, I found out that they are not the only population who has these results. An organization called Homefirst Health Services, an alternative medical facility where babies are often delivered at home and are rarely vaccinated, shared that after caring for 30-35,000 children, they did not have any autistic children among them. In addition, there is "virtually no cases of childhood asthma, in contrast to the overall Blue Cross rate of childhood asthma, which is about 10%." (p.238)

Sidenote: If you are worried about autism, you probably should be. The rates have increased to an average of 1 out of 150 children (mostly boys) are getting autism these days. In Utah, the rate is even higher- it's about 1 out of 77 children. (!!!!!) The rate doubled from 2002-2008, and has increased TWENTY-FOLD in the last twenty years.

This is where I finally took a step back and said, "Could I actually be wrong about this?"
It was a stunning moment. I decided to keep searching. A lot of the research seemed to say that while autism IS something that is because of genetics, it seems like there was some kind of TRIGGER that was setting off that gene. And that could be anything from the preservatives like aluminum, mercury, or in the vaccines, or maybe the viruses themselves- but I knew that something was not right, and I needed more time to research it. Conveniently, we moved from Hawaii to Las Vegas and lost our health insurance (Samuel was self-employed) so that made my decision to hold off on vaccines even easier- because I quit taking Kalia to the doctor unless she was really sick.

I kept researching. I had no idea that the vaccine schedule today was attempting to put TRIPLE the amount of vaccines/drugs/shots into my baby than was ever injected in me. THREE TIMES AS MANY? Yeah...that's weird, I thought. Why would my baby need so many more shots when most of these diseases were already disappearing on their own? Why can't she just get chicken pox, instead of getting inoculated against it? I had chicken pox as a little girl, I have a lovely scar on my forehead to prove it. But it was no big deal! Why so many vaccines??? Anyway, I started to put some pieces together.

And I admitted to my dear husband that, gulp, I just might have been wrong after all. (Hey, I don't like to admit it, but it is what it is.) He was gracious in accepting my confession, and asked me to keep sharing the things that I continued to find.

By the time Annie was born, which was only about 8 months after this, we signed a waiver at the hospital to make sure she didn't get the Hepatitis B shot.

Ok, time out. I am not going to do this with every vaccine I mentioned, but lets just talk for a minute about the Hep B shot. Do you know how you contract Hepatitis B? Through body fluids- blood, saliva, and semen, and also by sharing needles with an infected person. Or an infected mother can pass it to her baby at birth. 50% of people get it by being sexually active. PRETTY SURE my baby isn't going to get it. But JUST IN SOME WEIRD case that she was injected with a dirty needle, the statistics show that most patients who do get it do not require hospitalization, and 95% of them recover completely. "True carriers of the virus represent less than one-tenth of one percent of the population...In 2005, there were only FIVE cases of hepatitis B in children under 5 years of age in the United States." So if it's so rare, and relatively not that harmful, WHY are they insisting on giving it to every newborn that is born? Allow me to quote from the book: "Because a vaccination strategy limited to high-risk individuals has failed" (the high-risk individuals being the druggies and the sexually promiscuous folks) and since children are "accessible," they are now compelled to receive the three-shot series beginning at birth." In other words, because high-risk groups are difficult to reach or have rejected this vaccines, authorities are targeting babies- even though babies are not likely to contract this disease. They are being subjected to all of the risks of this vaccine without the expected benefit."" ) p. 312

Well, what are the risks of the shot? Man, I can't even sum it all up, for one because there are almost 40 pages of studies and personal testimony of the damage that one vaccine has done- everything from sensory impairments, blood disorders, arthritis, autoimmune and neurological disorders, diabetes, skin disorders, and liver and kidney damage, but here's a quick study you can take a peek at from 2009, showing that the Hep B vaccine triples the risk of autism in infant boys.

And so you take that risk, give your baby this vaccine, hoping to get an "expected benefit" and guess what- it's not even very effective in what it's supposed to do. "Follow-up studies found that just 5 to 9 years later, approximately half of all vaccinated people fail to maintain protective antibody levels." (p. 311).

Well, just with that small bit of information, I decided that Annie definitely did not need the Hep B vaccine. And looking back, I'm even MORE grateful that I didn't give it to her, because she has all those food allergies and sensitivities, and frankly is scares me to think of how her body would react to the crazy stuff in vaccines (more on that in a second.)

So as an alternative to the regular vaccine schedule, I found an "alternate vaccine schedule" by a certain Dr. Don Miller, that suggested you wait until the child is 2 years old before administering any vaccines, (because their immune systems are stronger, and they have a little more body weight to distribute the drugs and preservatives) and then after that, to make sure the shots are separated (no combined shots like DTaP or MMR- those are like 3 shots combined into one) and that you don't do any vaccines that inject a live virus. He suggested you do these shots:

a. Pertussis (acellular, not whole cell)

b. Diphtheria

c. Tetanus

d. Polio (the Salk vaccine, cultured in human cells)

(Translation: That's the DTap shot, separated, plus polio.) "The top four would be the pertussis (acelluar — aP — not whole cell), diphtheria (D), and tetanus (T) vaccines — given separately (not together, as is usually the case); and the Salk polio vaccine, with an inactivated (dead) virus, one that is cultured in human cells, not monkey kidney cells. Perhaps it should only contain these four vaccines.

So that was my plan. Wait until the girls were at least two years old, and then do those shots, every six months. There's just one little problem. If you want the shots separated, they come containing mercury/thimersol (in case you didn't know, there IS a correlation between mercury/thimersol and autism, and so we've been told that the CDC removed all the mercury from our vaccines. Apparently that's not quite the truth.) So that same doctor, actually said this in an update to his suggested schedule. "it will be impossible, unfortunately, to follow the ‘user friendly’ vaccination schedule as written... the risk of the combined DPT vaccine, even after age two, outweighs its benefits, so it is better to do without these shots.” (See this webpage if you want more information on this schedule or the reasons why he suggests it.)

I didn't know this info until recently- Since Kalia is 4 and Annie is almost 3, I decided it was time to start the alternative schedule. I found the book by Neil Miller, and checked it out to decide which vaccine to give them first...but after finding out what I did...I absolutely could not feel good about giving them any of them-- and my delayed schedule has turned into a "no vaccine" schedule. At least for now. I had originally planned to give them both the Pertussis vaccine.

I had heard about the Pertussis breaking out in Utah and California, and my brother and sister-in-law actually caught it and got really sick! (their little girl, who was vaccinated, did not catch it. The vaccine worked as it was supposed to.) Pertussis is scary because there is no specific treatment for it, and antibiotics have little effect on it. and it makes you feel pretty horrible. So after I checked out the book, I skipped straight to the chapter on the Pertussis vaccine. And I was sick to my stomach at what I learned. I decided there was no way I could give my kids the vaccine. Here's a few reasons why:

*Pertussis is rarely fatal, although doctors will use some scare tactics to try to scare you into getting the vaccine. (Having said that, it is most dangerous to those under 6 months of age.)

*The US never studied it's safety on children. "They injected the vaccine into the bellies of young mice to see if they would die. If the mice lived and gained weight, the vaccine was considered safe and was approved by the FDA." They also relied on a study done by Great Britain, who wasn't even testing for safety, they were testing for EFFICACY. 42 of these children had convulsions within 28 days of the vaccine, AND they used babies 6-18 months old- yet somehow the FDA decides that means it's safe to give to little 2 month old baby who weighs 10 lbs the SAME DOSE that you would give a 50 lb child going into preschool.

*One study found that 1 in 600 children had neurological problems after the vaccine, and another study found that 1 in 200 who received the full series of the shots suffered severe reactions like shock-collapse or convulsions. (These results show much higher incidences of complications than your doctor or the FDA will ever tell you.)

*A published study in 1994 showed that children with asthma were FIVE TIMES more likely to have received the Pertussis vaccine. a 1997 study found that 20% of the subjects given the vaccine went on to develop asthma, and NONE of the subjects in the control group did.

*Let's talk SIDS- one of the things Mommies fear the most-
In Japan from 1970 to 1974 there were 37 documented deaths following the pertussis vaccinations. Doctors boycotted the vaccine and in 1975 Japan authorities raised the age of vaccination from two months to two years. As a result, babies stopped dying unexpectedly, and the Japanese infant mortality rate improved from 17th place to best in the world.

*In 1987 the American Journal of Public Health published a study that found "the SIDS mortality rate in the period zero to three days following DPT to be 7.3 times that in the period beginning 30 days after immunization." and a 1993 study reported that babies die at a rate 8 times greater than normal within 3 days of the shot.
*An Australian study studied breathing patterns before and after the administration of the Pertussis vaccine, and found that the vaccine "caused an inordinate increase in episodes where breathing either nearly ceased or stopped completely."

Here's a real kicker: "In another study of children who dies of SIDS, Dr. William Torch found that two-thirds had been vaccinated with pertussis prior to death.

Soooooo....nobody is claiming that the Pertussis vaccine CAUSES SIDS, but it sure as heck looks like it CONTRIBUTED MAJORLY to it. SO SCARY!

*The book also shows all these other side effects which are common with vaccines: Developmental disabilities, neurological problems, and even some side effects that surprised me: Higher incidences of violent crimes and drug abuse when they were older. There are plenty of studies on all of those, but I won't waste time summarizing them.

Then I went on to read about how effective the vaccine is- and if it was worth taking those risks or not. First of all, the trends show that Pertussis was already majorly on the decline when the vaccine was introduced. After that, it kept declining at the exact same rate as it had before they started giving it (p. 138).

*Two Swedish studies found the vaccine to be 54 and 64 percent effective, respectively.

*A 2006 Canadian study suggests that the vaccine might not protect young children.

*a 2007 published study found that five years after adolescents received the booster shot (their 5th dose by 11-13 years of age) their pertussis antibody levels were actually LOWER that they were before vaccination. In fact, they were undetectable in 28 percent of the subjects.)

*In 1986 there was a breakout of pertussis (over 1000 cases) in Kansas, and "90 percent of the patients were adequately vaccinated" and yet somehow they still caught it.

*In a 1993 outbreak, 82% of younger children stricken with the disease had received multiple doses of the vaccine.

*In a Canadian outbreak that same year, 62% of the people who contracted Pertussis had been adequately vaccinated against it.

*In a US outbreak in 1996, 97% of children were up to date on their vaccines, and yet 74% of the children who caught it had had 3-5 doses of the vaccine.

*In Israel, for the 3 years after they introduced the vaccine (2003-2005), Pertussis actually increased among their people.

So you see, Pertussis outbreaks often occur in highly vaccinated popoulations, and the majority of the people who catch it ARE THE VACCINATED ONES! (craziness. I was stunned.)

Well, that was ENOUGH FOR ME! More than enough, actually. I decided not to vaccinate my kids with the Pertussis vaccine. Way too much risk, without much of a benefit. And the scary part is that "according to Dr. David Kessler, former director of the FDA, 'only about one percent of serious adverse drug reactions are reported.'" (p. 25) So...the risks with all vaccines are probably much, much higher than even these numbers represent.

I have only read a small fraction of the book, but every single vaccine has similar information- studies, side effects, efficacy information....from what I can tell, it's the same story being told over and over and over. I will save us all the time and try not to be redundant and summarize every single vaccine. (you're welcome)- although I am more than happy to look up specific statistics for any of you, if you want more info on a specific vaccine that you had in mind. I intend to read the entire book, no matter how long it takes. I just want as much information as possible.
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We, as parents, need to understand that VACCINES ARE DRUGS. "Each one contains a blend of chemicals, pathogens, and other foreign matter. Today, children...are injected with 36 vaccine-drugs before he or she is 1 1/2 years old! These babies are not ingesting the drugs (like we do...traveling through our stomachs), but are being injected directly into their tiny bloodstreams. When did YOU last take eight drugs all at the same time? Would you be more surprised if you DID or DID NOT have a serious reaction?

The United States is the most vaccinated country in the world, yet it has one of the worst infant mortality rates of industrialized nations. In fact, as new vaccines are added to the recommended vaccine schedule, the infant mortality rate worsens.

Let me share what exactly is in that vaccine that they are injecting into your baby:
VERO (monkey) cells -- potentially containing the SV40 virus incriminated in several different cancers, including leukemia.

Bovine extract, bovine casein and calf (bovine) sera -- It is common knowledge that bovine blood products can be contaminated with viruses, and bovine viral diarrhea virus (BVDV) is the one most often contaminating fetal bovine serum.[7]

Formaldehyde -- a chemical that has caused cancer in laboratory animals and may cause cancer in humans. There is no known threshold level below which cancer risk does not exist. The World Health Organization recommends that exposure should not exceed 0.05 ppm (parts per million).[8]

Glutaraldehyde -- a toxic chemical that is used for cold sterilization of medical and dental equipment. There is no Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) permissible exposure limit. The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) recommends that exposure to glutaraldehyde be under 0.2 ppm.[9] (TOM: reference)

2-Phenoxyethanol -- the chemical name for antifreeze, the vaccine contains 2.5 mg of this compound.

Thimerosal -- this mercury compound is used in the production of Energix, the hepatitis B fraction of the vaccine. It is used during the initial manufacturing process and then removed by a process using cystiene. However, up to 12.5ng (nanograms) remain.

The vaccine also contains these substances: neomycin, polymyxin B, polysorbate 80 and less than five percent yeast protein. The instructions on the package insert caution to "shake well before administering" and describe the vaccine as a "turbid white suspension" consisting of the many particles in the solution.

Is this something that you would want to have injected into your arm? Into your baby's arm? Don't bet on it. The long-term studies on combination vaccines will most likely prove that the biological warfare coming through a needle is just that: war -- on the immune system.

Have you ever thought that maybe vaccines could actually be detrimental to our immune system? I had never thought of that, until I read this:
"The viruses that cause measles, mumps, and chickenpox have infected countless generations of humans, akin to a rite of passage for each member of our species. Contracting these diseases strengthens both parts of the adaptive immune system (Th1 and Th2 ). Mothers who have had measles, mumps, and chickenpox transfer antibodies against them to their babies in utero, which protect them during the first year of life from contracting these infections."
also...
(On the need for booster shots): "With natural immunity, which is acquired by being exposed to the actual disease, protection is not meager and temporary, but rather complete and lifelong. This is not true with vaccines. Isn't it odd that the vaccine industry's answer to an ineffective vaccine is to compel more of it!" (p. 29)

With rare exception, a well-nourished child who contracts measles will recover smoothly from the infection. Fifty years ago almost all children in the U.S. had measles. And after contracting this disease, one has life-long immunity to it. The protection provided by vaccination is temporary.

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Another thing to be aware of is that more often than not, the vaccines are contaminated. Often, one batch of vaccine will not cause too many problems, but another batch will cause major side effects and even death- and who knows which batch YOUR child is getting? "Studies have shown that 60 percent of vaccines examined contained one or more contaminating organisms." And when they say contamination, they mean viruses that aren't supposed to be there.
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As I mentioned before, we are told that vaccines are much more effective than they really are. When the HPV vaccine came out, we were actually told that it was 100% effective, leading us to believe that anyone who got the Gardasil vaccine would have no chance of having cervical cancer. However, the vaccine is only "100 percent effective" against two strains of HPV, and there are actually numerous different ones. In fact, in the pre-licensure studies, 361 women who received at least one shot of Gardasil went on to develop precancerous lesions within three years.

This is not just a problem with the HPV vaccine. The pneumococcal vaccine (prevnar) is only designed to protect against SEVEN of the NINETY different strains that can cause pneumococcal disease. Not only that, but the seven strains that the vaccine prevents are just being replaced by are more dangerous and resistant to treatment. (p. 28)

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Another argument I hear a lot (because a lot of good people, pediatricians included), believe in Herd Immunity. "One of the grand lies of the vaccine program is the concept of "herd immunity." It is based on the idea that if a certain percentage of the population is immunized against an infectious disease, epidemics can be prevented. The exact percentage changes, mainly, in my opinion, to suit the vaccine manufacturers. In the beginning it was 68 percent, but now some are calling for 95 to 100 percent immunization to reach these goals. We are constantly told, and many doctors believe, that herd immunity has prevented epidemics from occurring in modern America. Unfortunately, there is very little evidence of this for a number of reasons. .....vaccines for most Americans declined to non-protective levels within 5 to 10 years of the vaccines. This means that for the vast majority of Americans, as well as others in the developed world, herd immunity doesn't exist and hasn't for over 60 years." Also, a lot of people are getting pretty upset with people like me, claiming that us 'unvaccinated folks' are causing these outbreaks of epidemics. Well, it turns out we're not. The outbreaks that you see are following their normal patterns. OUTBREAKS happen, regardless of how well a population is vaccinated (as shown above, the vaccinated don't have that great of protection anyway). "The belief in herd immunity leads to many delusions. One of them is that when the number of immune people in a community drops below a certain point, it will make the next epidemic come sooner. In 1976 in Britain the vaccination rate for whooping cough dropped from 76% to 42%, because there had been publicity of bad side effects from the vaccine. The medicrats expected that the drop in the vaccination rate would make the next whooping cough epidemic come sooner, as well as expecting it to be worse. The whooping cough bacteria paid no attention to human theories, and the disease followed the usual timing of its natural cycle of virulence. Medicrats expressed surprise that the epidemic did not come sooner. There were also fewer cases and fewer deaths during this epidemic. The much lower vaccination rate of 42% made no difference to the long term decline of whooping cough, which had been happening for a hundred years.

One more quote on herd immunity: ""The reason vaccinations are promoted with such intensity is to prevent people from realizing that vaccines do not protect and also in the event of an outbreak or an epidemic the vaccinated are as much at risk of becoming infected as the unvaccinated. The truth can be kept hidden if people's vaccination status remains unknown and if everyone is vaccinated, making a comparison with unvaccinated people impossible. This is also the real reason for the relentless push to vaccinate as many children as possible."-- Dr Buchwald (The Decline of Tuberculosis despite "Protective" Vaccination by Dr. Gerhard Buchwald M.D. p101)
If you have chosen to vaccinate based on the idea that immunity, but would like more studies and statistics on the subject, click HERE.

I want to mention one more thing before I end. I know it's a little hard (at first) to believe that our government is lying to us about this. I mean, these vaccine organizations sound SO GOOD and HELPFUL! The CDC? (Center for Disease Control) and the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) should be on our side, right? As well as our family pediatrican, whom we love?? Right? Well--let me enlighten you just a little about why they might have some ulterior motives.

Forgive me, but I feel that a scripture from the Doctrine and Covenants summarizes it perfectly (this is in Section 89, verse 4- right as the Word of Wisdom is given.)

4 Behold, verily, thus saith the Lord unto you: In consequence of ^aevils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of ^bconspiring men in the last days, I have ^cwarned you, and forewarn you, by giving unto you this word of wisdom by revelation—
I will tell you why you're not getting the truth:

Evils...designs...in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days. The world is consumed with it's lust for power and money.

The fact is: The vaccine industry used to be made up of about 35 different manufactures. Today, there are only about 5 manufacturers, producing ALL the vaccines for the United States. Think of the MONEY they are making! Think like any business person- money is made when you are bringing in more money than you are spending. Think about how much money there is to be made by those companies, when there are millions of children, multiplied by the millions of shots being given. Let's not forget the flu shots and the swine flu shots- (again, lots of scare tactics used to motivate people to get in there and get them!) They stand to lose a fortune if anything came out that showed how dangerous these vaccines are. And interestingly enough, the CDC’s former director, Dr. Julie Gerberding—who was essentially in charge of federal government decision-making about vaccines and disease-response programs—resigned in 2010 to become president of Merck Pharmaceuticals’ vaccine division. Merck is the maker of the HPV vaccine. You see things like this EVERYWHERE The whole vaccine industry is motivated by obscene profits. They're in bed together. I can't put it any more plainly than that.

Oh there's much more on that topic-

Recently in the news, the American Academy of Pediatrics accepted a $342,000 payment from Wyeth, the maker of the pneumococcal vaccine, which is worth about 2 billion dollars a year in sales. The AAP also took $433,000 from Merck the year they endorsed the controversial HPV vaccine (which is expected to bring in billions of dollars in profits) and is currently being pushed on little girls as young as nine. Sanofi Aventis, a pharmaceutical company that makes 17 vaccines and the new 5-in-1 combo shot that was recently added to the childhood vaccination schedule, is also one of the AAP's top donors, purports CBS News.

And we absolutely cannot depend on information from the CDC. There is just too great a conflict of interest. "Asking the CDC to look into vaccine safety is like asking the fox to guard the chicken coop."--Dr Bernard Rimland. "In the past 7-10 years, the CDC has manipulated data, hidden results, purchased studies, and deceived parents, pediatricians, and politicians in a blatant act of self-preservation and pharmaceutical industry protectionism."

As I mentioned before, these organizations DO know that vaccines cause a problem, and if you REALLY want to know if that's true, spend some time browsing the documents dug up by this website:

http://www.putchildrenfirst.org/index2.html

You will find that not only do they know about all these problems, they are going to great lengths to cover it up, including creating and designing their own studies to produce the results that they want. (I could go on and on about the studies they have manufactured, produced, and even conducted on their own- then they pay doctors large amounts of money to put their name on the study and publish it as their own. Close examination of these studies of "vaccine study" finds all KINDS of problems with their research. "Lead authors of important studies are often beholden to the manufacturer in some way. They may own stock in the company or are paid by the manufacturer to travel around the country promoting their vaccines. Lead authors may receive consultation fees, grants, or other benefits from the drug maker that contravene ethical boundaries and compromise the integrity of the study....In some instances, study results may be preordained. When the vaccine-autism link became a public concern, vaccine proponents moved into high gear to produce authentic-appearing studies that contradicted genuine data. (The tobacco industry did this same thing many years ago, when the tobacco industries financed numerous bogus studies ostensibly "proving" that cigarettes didn't cause cancer.) (p. 23)

In fact, Congress established a "hazard" tax on childhood vaccines, so that when you (and your insurance) pays for your own baby's shots, a portion of that money goes into a special fund to compensate them when their children are seriously damaged or die. In the last few years, more than $1 billion was granted for thousands of injuries and deaths caused by mandated vaccines. (p.25)

The CDC has told us that there are now (I'm paraphrasing) about 16 studies that "refute" the link between vaccines and autism. Those studies are INVENTED and MANIPULATED and there are WAY more studies proving otherwise. They went crazy with a smear campaign on Dr. Wakefield, one of the original doctors who found and published the link- they basically destroyed his career for having the guts to go against the grain with his findings- and they threaten others who try to do the same. Again, refer to some of the websites I've mentioned throughout this post if you don't believe me. It is all there waiting to be found, if you'll JUST LOOK AND SEE.

Well, what about the doctors, you say? These people are SMART and have been through MEDICAL school! They should know right? They should know how to find these studies.
First of all, did you know that doctors only study the immune system, IN DEPTH, while they are in their first year of medical school? Also, pediatricans know a lot about childhood issues, but they do not know a whole lot about the brain. One neuologist (who wrote the introduction to Neil Miller's book) says that as a brain specialist, he realized that pediatricians actually know very little about the brain- he was constantly getting phone calls with questions because that is just not their area of expertise. And that's part of the problem. Vaccines cause a lot of problems for the brain, including sometime called "exotoxicity".

I believe that our doctors may still believe that the CDC and FDA and AAP are honest and are telling them the truth. They feel like with these huge organizations backing them up, they have a lot more credibility. But, as I've watched things progress throughout the years, a LOT more doctors have finally decided to do what I have done (find out for themselves if these vaccines are damaging) and many doctors are coming to the conclusion that the vaccines really ARE dangerous.

It's a tough pill to swall0w- because by admitting this, your doctor is at risk of losing patients (who don't agree) or by losing a great amount of his/her own income. Yes, even your doctor has a financial interest in vaccines, as he/she makes a large profit off of every shot given to every child. He/she could lose a great many clients over this issue, so why not play it safe and go with the mainstream theory here? So they don't want to see that money-maker taken away either. I know we love our doctors and trust them implicitly, but it seems that most pediatricians have ALSO refused to look into this subject- as one article put it, "That would be akin to the priest denying his own religion."

However, I was extremely grateful to meet the famous pediatrician Doris Rapp, who is an expert on children with allergies. She wrote a book called Is This Your Child that has been incredibly helpful and informative to me, with my kids having allergies and sensitivities, and jacked up immune systems. I personally asked her what she thought of vaccines. I will quote her exactly, "Oh, I wouldn't even vaccinate my dog right now." Also, the doctors office I attend just added a brand new doctor to their staff, who told me privately that she has read studies that show that vaccines are not very effective. So I know that doctors are starting to see the light on this subject. I believe it will just be a matter of time before this previously thought "crack pot" theory is realized to be one of substance and truth.

I know some of you might want to know what to do when your preschooler or kindergartner is "required" to produce a vaccine record, showing that their shots are up to date. Don't worry, we still have enough freedom left in this country to not have to be compelled to do something we don't believe in. Every state has waivers that you can sign, stating that for medical or religious reasons, you have decided not to vaccinate.

For me, it is a religious reason. We've considered this information and prayed about it, and this is what we feel good about, for our family, Who knows, maybe things will be different when our kids are older and bigger.

I think all of us who HAVE vaccinated our kids at one time in the past-- we need to be extremely grateful that our children have been blessed to not have any major side effects of vaccines. It is possible that they have suffered a little bit of damage that we don't know about. And I personally know two children who have suffered greatly after receiving vaccines. One of my friends has a little girl who spent a MONTH in the ICU following a regular swine flu vaccine. She regressed from being a normal 4 year old to being in an almost-vegetable state, unable to talk, feed herself, or go to the bathroom. She was life-and-death for a little while- they didn't think she was going to make it. She was miraculously saved, and was finally discharged from the hospital, and has started to recover from the brain damage that vaccine caused. So those "stories" you hear about people having serious reactions, well, they aren't just made up stories or crazy people making crazy claims. These things are happening all around us. I know doctors and other people will probably make you feel like YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER if you are not giving your children the precious, protective vaccines...but be careful believing that kind of pressure, or their scare tactics. Like I said, it seems to be heavily motivated by the money.

*The vaccine industry, who says "our vaccines are safe!" will LOSE MONEY if people stop vaccinating. On the other hand, the other side tells us that they are DANGEROUS, and I ask you to consider one more question: WHO STANDS TO LOSE (OR PROFIT) THE MOST FROM VACCINES? How much can we really believe what they are telling us? Those who are suggesting that vaccines are bad, really stand TO GAIN NOTHING from a less-vaccinated population. Maybe some of you can think of something they would gain from it, but I can't think of anything.

I have to stop. I know this is a lot to take in. Congrats if you made it all the way to the end, I hope it helps in someway, somehow. Don't be afraid of the facts, and don't be afraid to go against the grain. If you don't like the opposition you face, then do what I did at first. Find a doctor who will support you in making your own decisions, and then keep your mouth shut when the topic comes up in your circle of friends or even family (if you don't want people ripping into you.) That's the easiest way...don't make waves. That is, until you finally gather enough information (and courage) to take those people on. That's the point I am finally at today...well...almost. I'm not ready to fight with my friends over it! I'm still putting it out there for some of you to...ponder. Hope it helped someone out there.
xoxo
Heather

And this is what happens...

when the people who live upstairs buy a watermelon, let it sit on their counter for who knows how long, then give it to you before they leave town, then it sits on YOUR counter for who knows how long, and then your two-year-old climbs up on the counter, STEPS on the watermelon, and it turns out it's rotten, so her foot goes right through it, and it gushes everywhere.

By the way, that will ruin your rug. And it smells REALLY BAD.

Ella- 5 months

This sweet girl is 5 months old now. She is my favorite child right now. She turned out to be a pretty happy, calm, and content baby- for the most part! I LOVE this age. I know. I say that a lot.

She is...

*trying to crawl. She almost has it down. She can roll and scoot and collapse her way to almost anything. I am 10% super proud of her early achievements and 90% DREADING the fact that she is already mobile. If she walks early like Kalia, It will be 1% and 99% the same feelings.

*Working on sitting up! (just like Kalia- trying to crawl before she can sit up). She can sit for about 5 seconds at a time.

*Tenacious- meaning that when she sees something she wants, she gets so focused on it that nothing else matters.

*SOOOO interested in table food. If I'm holding her while I eat she tries to eat off my fork or hand. And she goes nuts when I drink bottled water. So I let her try some smashed banana and a little fried potato. And I give her sips of water often. She is a huge fan. Rice cereal- who needs it?

*A healthy little baby. She's fought off 2 colds like a champ. P.S. She is completely vaccine-free. (Stay tuned if you want to know why.)

*I got SO SICK of my diet that I tried formula for 24 hours. Actually it was only 2 oz of formula (an amino acid formula called Elecare, for food allergies) added to 4 oz of breastmilk. IT WAS THE WORST 24 HOURS OF MY LIFE. Okay, not my life, but of her life so far, definitely. Not only did she hate the stuff (it's gross, no doubt) but what bothered me most was how it seemed to emotionally really bother her that I wasn't nursing her. It was super hard for me too. She would drink the bottle, swallow, and cry. Then she'd frantically try to find her usual milk source- even resorting to sucking on her fingers or my bicep. It was heartbreaking. Also, she was acting like she was in pain all day too (could be a possible reaction to the corn syrup solids in the formula) and so I decided it wasn't worth it to put us both through that. At least not now. Maybe later. I am rededicating myself to the diet- No More Cheating (unless it's a full on cheat-and-then-pump-and-dump-day.)

*Still not sleep trained but doing really great at night! This crawling thing has her all excited, and during the day currently she is taking 3 naps of about 1 or 1.5 hour each. I would prefer 2 naps x 2 hours. We'll see.

*We don't use the swing much anymore, but when we do, she either almost pulls the mobile off or she ends up like this. Here's my happy girl last week, when she really started gettin' up. Ok, not happy til mommy starts making silly noises.

Height at 4.5 months: 24 inches (90th %)
Weight: 17 lbs (90th %)

Kalia Turns 4!!

I always feel bad that Samuel's birthday gets slightly downplayed, due to the fact that it's one day before Kalia's. This year he had to work on his birthday, but I decorated the table for him and made him a "Cheese Pie"- like a cheesecake but you don't have to bake it. It was his request, as he is not a cake fan, but I believe EVERYONE should blow out a candle on their birthday! We went and saw Cowboys and Aliens that night and it was pretty good. Happy 34th to Samuel!
Kalia got to go on a date with Daddy to the Children's Museum of Phoenix as part of her birthday. That place is KID HEAVEN! I am seriously contemplating an annual pass for Christmas. And we would start using it now while Ella is still free. Here's a few pics of that fun:


She also got to have a small "friend party" (her first friend party!) and we had it at Chuck E. Cheese (thank you Kat, for informing me that you can take your own stuff and not pay them per child.) It was a very "chill" party. The place was practically empty. But it was fun for the kids. The BEST part though was when Kalia was opening her presents and Annie was crying because SHE didn't get presents. This is only funny to me and my sister and my mom, because I guess I had the same problem when I was little and my sister, only 13 months older than me, had a birthday. My parents started giving me a present on HER birthday. I thought that was a little indulgent- until I went through it and then I understood. Notice Annie here in the background.The grocery store down the street sent a card with a free 8" cake for her birthday. She was SO excited to get her free cake, she put that card on the fridge and looked at it every day for 2 months until it was finally time to go get it on August 24th.


Here's a few more things about Kalia at 4 years old:

*She loves to learn. She seems very self-driven and likes to ask me randomly what "5 + 5 is" and stuff like that. She is great at addition, and just started subtraction. I don't really work with her, she's just picking it up on her own. Every now and then I'll sit down and spend a few minutes on it. She also likes to pick out words when we drive around, like when she sees "BIG" at Big Lots and "MAX" at Office Max. She also can write about half the letters without looking at anything. (Her latest self-entertainment is to get paper and write HEATHER KALIA ANNIE and TO and then she draws some squiggly lines, seals it up in an envelope, and brings it to me as a "love card." But I do have to spell my name for her.)

*Her once curly hair is kind of a PAIN now. It never looks good, no matter how recently I "did" it. It's course and thick and has some curl left, and it's just hard to manage, frankly. It doesn't comb down smoothly either. And one time I blow dried it straight and then flat ironed it, and 4 hours later, it had started to go curly and wild again. Even though her hair is at least 50% straight. It's weird. Also, the pool has made her ends dry and brittle, so I took some scissors and whacked off 2 inches. Not bad for my first try. At least it's a straight line. It helped a lot. She has a tender little scalp and always cries when I have to brush it. One product I love to use on her is Devacare No-poo. It's for curly haired people, but it's like a conditioner ONLY, but with a little bit of cleansing agents. It works really when I have to wash her hair. Smells good too. (Note: I finally attempted french braids. My mom would be so proud. ;) The pictures above are my second try. I'll keep working on it, she loves having two braids, just like her mama did long ago.

*She is super competitive. She cries when she doesn't win, even if it's a race to get jammies on. I wonder where she got that. (hint: not from Samuel.) I am working with her on this.

*She is not in preschool because it's too dang expensive here ($100 a month is the cheapest I could find) and they don't have free programs in our district. I am bummed about this. We settled on a hip hop dance class once a week, (Annie's in it too.) They love it. I know she doesn't really need preschool, as much as I need the break from her. She is at that age where she talks CONSTANTLY and she doesn't play by herself very well. By 1 p.m. I am exhausted just listening to her (and responding with, "Great! Awesome! So cool! Wow! Amazing!")

*She is very well behaved and almost never throws tantrums or gets into mischief. I count my blessings on this one. (Although she has been using a whiny voice a lot, which I absolutely cannot tolerate.) I wonder if this is more typical for a first child? Seems like a lot of my friends have a really sweet, responsible, oldest child.

*One area she lacks in is FOCUS and HOLDING STILL. Preschool would be really great for this. I guess she does pretty good in Sunbeams, so maybe I just have too high of expectations for what a barely-4-year old should be doing.

*She is SO PICKY about what she will eat. Like I mentioned on facebook last week, she will literally throw up if I make her eat certain vegetables. This is driving me a bit insane, but I've decided not to fight her on it, just offer her fruit instead. And she can choose to go hungry if she wants. But that kid would live on cheese and yogurt and noodles alone, if she could.

*She loves Ella SO much and always tries to make her laugh and smile. And she is great at it.

*She (and Annie) are totally OBSESSED with watching Little Einsteins on TV. We have a bunch of episodes recorded on the DVR, and Kalia can work the remote and so I find them watching it all day. It's a great show, and very educational (love the music theory they teach) but I am getting a little tired of hearing the same theme song day after DAY!

*She likes to sleep with lots of stuffed animals on her bed. She falls asleep at 7 p.m. if I am on top of things(which is almost never) (and Annie didn't nap). She has rest time for about 2 hours every day, but gets so bored by herself, and always comes looking for me.

*A cute story about Kalia is that the other night we were having Family Night, and I made up a quick lesson about who our Heavenly Father was (vs. who Jesus was) and I was just drawing stick figures showing all of us, His children, etc. All of a sudden, Kalia, who was sitting right next to me on the couch, just grabbed my arm and started smothering it with kisses. At that moment, I knew that she was feeling the Holy Ghost, and she just couldn't contain her happiness anymore. We pointed out to her what she was feeling inside, but it was just a sweet moment, and a reminder about how sensitive these kids are to things that are good and right and true.

All things considered, Kalia Ruth is AMAZING and I am so lucky to have her. I can't wait until she can babysit so Samuel and I can go on lots of dates.

I threw a Party (Facebook Repeat Post)

Started typing this almost a week ago.)

Soooo...I fell asleep at 6 p.m. tonight (Sunday) and I woke up at 11:30 p.m. So now I'm awake in the middle of the night! It's so nice and quite and I bet I could get a lot done. I was pretty tired from throwing this big birthday bash. I am NOT a party thrower or a hostess. I don't really love it. I'm not very crafty, I'm not good at decorating, and I can't really make cakes. So that adds up to a lack of party-throwing. But with Samuel's birthday on Tuesday, Kalia's birthday on Wednesday, and 6 other birthdays in the month of August (2 of Samuel's siblings, 2 of their spouses, one cousin, and one uncle), I decided to make an exception.

I had ripped out a page of the magazine BabyTalk with some ideas for a rainbow themed party. It looked so cute and I thought MAYBE I could copy some of the ideas. I think everything turned out pretty cute. I used these tissue paper balls to decorate the walls and trees and stuff. They are so easy. Great tutorials on you tube if you want to make your own.

With the help of my friend Kat, her blog, her advice (called her several times, including when my cake was falling apart in my fridge), I was able to make an incredible rainbow cake. I'll include the link from her blog that gave good instructions.

I started baking the cake layers on Thursday. On Friday morning I started putting them together.

Good thing I started early, because here's what happened next.
Here's a bunch of pictures of the party.










If you want to make your own rainbow cake, go HERE for some great instructions. Also, you can use my friend Kat's advice, and substitute buttermillk for the water (in the cake mix instructions) and your cake will be extra moist and delicious.

For the MOST AMAZING FROSTING on the PLANET, go HERE. The cake is probably amazing too, I might have to try it.

A Day in the Life

"And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less."

- Anna Quindlen, Loud and Clear

A little while ago my older sister, Krystal, told us about what a day at her house was like- for a full 24 hours. She has 5 kids, the youngest two are only 4 months and 17 months old. I was fascinated at this peek into her normal life. And very impressed, because she has her hands full. I remember thinking that she has it harder than me, so I shouldn't complain. ;)

I think back to when I only had one kid, or only two. I only wish I had written down what my days were like then. It seems like it MUST have been so simple...but I never remember thinking it was very easy...but I honestly can't remember what our days were like.

So I decided, mostly for my own record, to record a day in my life. I chose a random day (yesterday, Tuesday) and wrote things down to help me remember what those 24 hours were like. And it will be real. And you might be surprised, or you might feel better. You might wish you had it easy like me, or you might not want to trade me for the world. But this is my life, at home, on a special diet, with an almost-four-year old, a close-to-three year old, and my little 4 month old.

6:27 a.m. Ella, next to me in bed, wakes me up with her tossing and turning, and I realize she has a poopy diaper (unusual for her to do in her sleep.) I cannot get my eyes to peel open for about 9 minutes. Finally get up to change her, and she is super happy and ready to stay awake. Darn. Early start for me today. I am starving and eat a banana, feed Ella, pump the other side while Ella plays in her Exersaucer.

7:30 a.m. Kalia and Annie wake up and are really excited that I am up before them for once. I feed them each a yogurt and a little banana.

7:51 Ella is tired and goes back to sleep. I bounce and sing her a little, then put her down drowsy-but-awake. It works! She goes to sleep without protest. I am so exhausted from a not-very-good-nights-sleep, that I tell Kalia and Annie to watch TV while I go take a nap.

8:10 I can't fall asleep. The girls keep coming to the door to tattle or complain or tell me something. I keep trying, desperately, to squeeze in a nap. Sleep won't come.

9:30 Ella wakes up. I give up, get up and throw Annie's bedding in the washer. We forgot to put her in a diaper before bed, and she peed on everything in the middle of the night (part of the reason I didn't sleep well.) Try to pick up some random things around the house. I am SO tired. Get Ella dressed. They decide that they also want to wear a pink onesie, like Ella, and they both actually find some in their room that fit. I take a pic because they look so cute. (Ipod pic- bad quality. sorry.)

10:30 Ella is officially starving. I feed her the pumped milk to make sure she gets a full 6 oz. She drinks a bottle better than she nurses. She can focus better or something. I realize that I'm very hungry. I tell the girls to hurry and get ready so we can go to the library. I remember that I'm hungry and eat two small baked potatoes with olive oil and salt and pepper. Not very satisfying.

11:00 We don't make it to the library. Ella is tired again. Back down for a nap, again, drowsy but awake. I'm happy that she's starting to be able to do this.

11:15 Ella is asleep, I throw in another load of laundry, reminding myself not to do too many loads in one day (or else I will get overwhelmed with how much there is to fold, and let it sit for DAYS.) Go into the girls room. It's a disaster- clothes everywhere from their "onesie" search. I sit and supervise the girls as they clean up everything. Then I vacuum their room.

12:00 I hear Ella wake up, (dang it!) but I leave her for a minute and she goes back to sleep. Yes! She's having a good sleep day. I realize I'm hungry again. Can't think of anything off the top of my head to eat so I don't eat anything. Sit down to write things down, and within 60 seconds the girls are swarming all around me. Both squeeze onto my lap and start taking my pen, my gum, anything they can get their hands on. Kalia sees me write her name and wants to know why. I feel a little smothered and need some peace and quiet. Decide to feed them lunch.

12:30 Sandwiches- Annie requests peanut butter and honey, Kalia requests turkey, cheese, and peanut butter. I explain that she needs to choose a sweet sandwich or a salty one, but not mix the two. I make their lunch, and give in to the delicious bread and nibble a tiny crust. Then I cheat some more and swig a tiny sip of orange cream soda that's in the fridge. YUM. I feel kind of guilty but hope Ella will be fine. While they eat, I write a quick email to my brother. I am still not dressed. I find a bra and yesterdays clothes on the back of the couch. I at least put the bra on. Then I search for a song I heard yesterday that I loved. Find it on YouTube. LOVE it. The girls love it too. They get out and dance together and giggle. (They call this marrying each other).

1:03 I start to cook myself a turkey patty on our little skillet (no stove, remember). I put Annie down for her nap, but first she insists (as always) that she has to change into a new pair of pajamas for her nap. Ella wakes up happy and so excited to see me. Kalia tells me that she can't pee because it hurts. I take a look and see it's a little red down there...but think it might be a UTI?

1:10 Annie comes out, proclaiming she had "a good nap." Nice try. Back down she goes.

1:23 I call my sister and Samuel too for their thoughts on a possible UTI. Debate taking her to urgent care. Decide it's probably just a rash. Put her in the tub with Epsom salt, per Samuel's suggestion. She is able to pee when she's in water. Good sign.

1:30 I am famished. I finally get to that turkey burger. Only 200 calories and 6 grams of fat. (sigh.) That's not going to be enough. I add olive oil to the skillet to add some fat, then I eat a red pear to try to get full. I make Kalia go rest with a pillow and blanket and some books on the stairs. There is nowhere else for her to go in our 2 bedroom basement apartment/home.

2:00 Snack on some potato chips. They are too hard and not very good. Remind self to go get some good chips at the first opportunity. Ella is hungry. Feed baby. Finally an excuse to sit down with my feet up, on the couch, and turn on a show I had DVR'd. Remember to go get the clothes in the dryer. I fold the first batch while Ella plays on the floor.

2:30 Kalia keeps begging to get up and play computer games. I finally give in. She is able to start the computer, unlock it with "control+alt+delete", start the browser, and go to nickjr, all on her own. I like this independence. Ella is done playing and wants to be held. I hold her on my lap and watch a few more minutes of my show. I catch Kalia with one of Ella's binkies in her mouth. (a daily occurrence). She goes to time out.

3:00 I turn off our air conditioning. We are on that savings plan where you have to stop using as much electricity as possible from 3-6 p.m. Ella is tired. Kalia wants to carry her to her bed. She manages to do so without dropping her. Poor third child. A tough little thing though (as most 3rd children are.) :)We do our little bounce and sing routine (quietly, in a dark room) and then I put her down. She protests this time for about 10 minutes. Then goes to sleep. Annie wakes up. Dang it. I really was hoping for a little more quiet time for myself. Annie puts on her second outfit for the day, then poops on the potty and asks for her reward- chocolate chips. I get them for her and sneak 4 chocolate chips for myself.

3:50 I'm hungry again. I open a can of green beans and eat another banana. Sit back down on the computer while the girls play more computer games. I hold Ella and check facebook, email, and our bank account. 3 more days til payday. Yay. I ask the girls to put away their clothes that I folded. Kalia gave me her regular answer, "Of course!" I love that answer. They stuff their clothes in drawers and completely undo any folding I just did. Oh well.

4:45 The girls are getting irritable from being cooped up all day with nothing constructive to do. I am getting hit with the afternoon fatigue, and can barely keep my eyes open. We decide it's time to swim. We get our swimsuits on and I notice that the girls have clothes ALL over their floor again. I make them put them all away before I will let them swim. They clean up fast. Ella still sleeping so we turn on the baby monitor. We go outside, the girls do their best tricks off the diving board, and just like I do every day, I give thanks for the blessing of having a pool in the backyard. Even if the water is 95 degrees. The girls eat otter pops.



5:15 Ella wakes up, so I put her in her swim suit and she joins us in the pool. I haven't showered today, but that's nothing new. Since we swim every day, I count that as good enough, although I don't get my hair wet because I don't want to wash it. The girls smother Ella in the swimming pool and I have to get her out.

Ella starts making these cute screeching noises, and we have a conversation. I love her to pieces. (video clip of this...at the end.)

5:30 Come inside and I brainstorm- what can I whip up FAST for dinner for Kalia and Annie. I brown some ground turkey, make myself some quinoa in the rice cooker, and boil some macaroni noodles in the microwave. I unplug the fridge because if I use the skillet (turkey), the microwave (noodles) and the fridge all at once, the circuit will blow out. Did I mention that we all stripped out of our swimsuits and didn't put anything else on? Ella is at least in a diaper. I finally wash off the high chair and booster trays that are still dirty from last night's dinner. I ignored them all day and finally, they are too dirty to ignore anymore.

6:15 Fatigue is hitting me again. I am so so so tired. I turn the a/c back on. Ella goes into the exersaucer. Girls are eating their macaroni/ground turkey/spaghetti sauce with sprinkled cheese on top. I know Annie might have some stomach problems from the dairy, but I let her have it anyway. I eat my quinoa and turkey. (For those of you who don't know what quinoa is, (I didn't know until this year) it's a very high and complete protein in the millet family. It has a strong flavor that is not that great, but is much better when mixed with other foods.) It looks like this.6:30 Ella is protesting loudly and wants out of the exersaucer. I move her to a Bumbo seat so she can watch her sisters eat.

7:00 Ella starts staring off at nothing. I put her in PJ's and put her down for one more catnap. Kalia and Annie go into the bath. Kalia has to pee in water again because it's still hurting down there. I start watching the clock for Samuel to get home. I listen to my new favorite song again ("If I Die Young by the Band Perry.)

7:15 Samuel calls and tells me he is headed to his parents house to feed the starving horse he rescued (another story for another day) and then he will be home. And by the way, the 1st counselor in the bishopric is coming over at 8:30. I start trying to get everything as clean as possible. And I finally get dressed for the day!! :) I wash the girls hair. Kalia sees that I am dressed and asks, "Are you leaving mommy?" And I say no, I just got dressed. She says, "To be a student?" I have no idea what she's talking about so I just say yes. Then she says to me, "You look wonderful." My heart melts.

8:00 Samuel gets home, makes himself a sandwich, since I haven't had time to make him anything, and the girls ate all the pasta and I finished off the turkey and quinoa. (Sadly, this is the norm- that I make a fast dinner for the girls, and then he has to fend for himself when he gets home. I intend to change that this month now that I have a chest freezer and can make some freezer meals.) I get the girls in pajamas and we download a free fairy app onto the Ipod touch. It takes your picture and turns you into a fairy and flaps your wings... (kind of like the Elf Yourself thing that goes around at Christmas.) It was really funny and we all giggle like school girls. Next we read a few bedtime stories.

8:15 Ella wakes up. Kalia runs in to get her. She demonstrates to me how she can get Ella out of the pack and play: She climbs in with her, picks her up, leans on the side of the pack and play until it tips over (partially) onto the side of my bed. She puts Ella on the bed. Then she climbs up, rights the pack and play, and then picks up Ella off the bed and brings her to me. I find this quite funny to be honest.

8:30 The first counselor comes over. The girls are not in bed yet, so they come running out to see him. He extends a calling to me- to be the nursery song leader. There are 3 nurseries, but I will still be able to go to parts of Sunday School and Relief Society. I am happy with this.

9:00 We read scriptures for a few minutes, and put the girls down. Normally they would be asleep by 8, but tonight they got to stay up late since I had to clean instead of put them to bed. Finally asleep, they look adorable. I feed Ella one more time, and put her to bed.


9:30 Samuel goes to the kitchen and does the dishes from last night and all day today. What a great man. I share my new favorite song with him and we catch up on the day's events.

10:00 I finally finish the rest of my show that I've been trying to watch all day. Samuel comes over and sits down and rubs my feet with coconut oil (this always makes me sleep better. Always.) I am having major cravings for warm, home-baked cocoa cookies, and although Samuel tells me to just get up and make some, I tell him that I don't want to pump for the next 12 hours, so I just need to tough it out. But I wish I could eat some comfort food. I drink water instead.

11:00 There's nothing else we want to watch, so we read our scriptures and decide to go to bed early. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. It's 11:11 p.m. I remember a few last minute things to check on before I go to bed. At 11:30 I lay down, glad to get to go to bed before midnight.

11:35 Ella wakes up. I try to feed her back to sleep. Then I notice that her diaper has leaked just a little and part of her jammie are wet. I change her. She's now kind of awake. I put her in bed with me with her pacifier. She is really wiggly and doesn't want to go back to sleep. I feed her a little hoping to relax her. I'm glad I am still breastfeeding and don't have to make her a bottle. She grabs onto my hand with both her tiny hands, each hand gripping one of my fingers. I love it.

12:30 Samuel is still sound asleep. Ella is relaxing...binky in mouth...and almost asleep. I am almost asleep. And then...toot...toot...squirt. She just pooped. I can't believe it. I get back up. I change her diaper. I am envious that Samuel is sleeping through all this. I lay her down in the pack and play and we both drift off to sleep.

5:30 a.m. She wakes up. I put her in bed with me and start to feed her. She eats and poops AGAIN. I can't believe all this middle of the night pooping. I change her diaper, and put her back in bed with me in just her diaper. Feed her. We go back to sleep.

AND THAT COMPLETES 24 HOURS IN THE BIGLER HOUSEHOLD!!! WHEW!! I didn't get much done...well, I did end up with a clean family room and kitchen- and one bedroom clean. Don't ask about the bathroom or other bedroom! Oh yes, and two loads of laundry done and put away. That has to count for something. I didn't leave the house besides going to the backyard to swim. I didn't shower. Yet I felt like it was nonstop all day. But it was still a pretty good day and pretty typical. Now maybe you can see why I've lost 42 lbs since Ella was born. 35 lbs of baby weight, plus a little more. If you want to lose weight, go ahead and try my diet. You can eat as much as you want. Lots of olive oil and potato chips! Even sugar, if you can find something that doesn't have milk, eggs, soy, corn, or wheat in it! That rules out almost everything good. Ok, enough about that. This post took forever to type, and now I have to go feed my kids lunch.