Here I am at 39.5 weeks pregnant- the last pics of me pregnant (ahhhhh...that felt good to write). I was only measuring 38 cm, so this is a smaller belly size for me. Don't know why, but kind of a fun surprise after all my complaints about people telling me I was big.
I have had to work on this long and detailed story for several days. Didn't want to leave anything out- of course!
So, back up to Sunday, March 26th. I was really anxious to get my labor going. I didn't have any signs of labor yet, besides being dilated to 1 cm. So on Sunday we went for a morning family walk. Then after that, I walked up and down our stairs (3 landings- 17 stairs) a total of 40 times. I had some nice hard Braxton Hicks contractions, but still nothing. (This stair-walking brought on my labor with Kalia within about 48 hours, or so I thought, maybe it was just a coincidence, but I had to try it anyway.)
I took the belly pictures on Sunday- in typical, sports bra fashion. I was surprised then, (and still surprised now) that all of a sudden I don't feel "Extra large" anymore. I don't even feel like I'm almost 40 weeks along. I kind of like my belly size.
Monday and Tuesday go by. No signs of labor. Braxton Hicks are irregular, but getting stronger. Still not painful. Wednesday I was really worried that my mom was going to show up and I was going to go overdue, and she would miss the birth. So on Wednesday morning I walk about 2 miles with the girls. Wednesday evening I walked (and jogged and skipped) 2 more miles by myself, and then jumped on the trampoline (hard) with Kalia and Annie, all in hopes of getting some more dilating action. I knew if I had dilated past a 1, my doctor could most likely strip my membranes at my Thursday morning appointment.
Thursday morning I woke up at 6 a.m. to pee, and oddly, couldn't fall back asleep. I realized that I was having regular Braxton Hicks contractions, even while laying down! They were about 10 minutes apart- still no pain. But regular! How exciting! They continued for the next 6 hours, including while I was at my doctors appointment.
The FIRST happy moment was when I got on the scale and I had LOST a pound. Which meant I hadn't gained any weight in 4 weeks, plus I'd lost a pound. What a miracle. I guess that's what happens when you lose your ability to smell and taste.
The SECOND happy (nearly euphoric moment) happened when my doc checked me and said, "Oh yeah. You're ready." (I was dilated 2-3, 75% effaced, a nice change from 7 days previous) and he stripped my membranes, which he warned me would hurt, but wasn't very bad. He told me that he thought there was a good chance that I'd go into labor that day/later that night, and that would be great for him, because he had all his c-sections scheduled for the following day, which could be tricky if I went into labor then. I practically skipped outta there.
I picked up my mom at the airport, we went to Costco to stock up on a few necessities, filled the car with gas, and waited....I thought my contractions would get harder and more painful. But basically they stopped. My mom talked me into taking a nap, which I did, from 4-6 p.m. But at 6 and 7 p.m. STILL NO CONTRACTIONS! Now I was a little bugged because my hopes were up, Samuel was at work, anxiously awaiting "The Call" that it was time, and everyone on facebook knew that I might be having a baby that day.
My mom encouraged me to go on another walk, so we took Annie in the stroller, and we did a light jog for about 2-3 miles.
That finally did the trick. An hour later, my contractions started regularly, and they hurt a little. So I used an awesome App on my Ipod touch, and kept track of them. I started tracking at 8:20 p.m. and they were coming every 7-10 minutes.
Samuel came home, and I made him drive me to this house to get a refrigerator off of Craigslist. I didn't want anyone else to get it, and we really needed a new one, and this one was a great deal. So there I am, laboring away as we pick up a fridge. I had to start concentrating and relaxing through my contractions (about 6 minutes apart at this point) as they were hurting more. I also made Samuel quit talking to me during contractions, so that I could focus. Still though, pretty bearable pain!
We got home around 9:30, and they just kept coming, slowly getting closer together. I was trying to watch American Idol (elimination results) but I had to pause the show every 5 minutes. They were getting closer together.
We decided to call Samuel's mom to come over to stay with the girls at 11:00 and in the 30 minutes it took her to get there, I climbed into a hot bath, which felt GREAT, and labored there for a bit. That definitely took an edge off the pain. They were down to about 3-4 minutes apart when I really had to crack the whip and be like. OK. IT'S TIME. LET'S GO. It wasn't so much that they were killing me (like I expected)- it was just that they were getting so close together. So I think we actually left at about 11:40 p.m.
We got in the car, me, Samuel, and my mom, except I insisted on sitting in the very back where there's not a seat, and I was sitting on Kalia's big bouncy ball. That had helped at home, but in a bouncing car (and my head grazing the roof of the Pilot) not so much. Contractions were hurting a lot, also, I couldn't get in a good position to ease the pain (moving and finding positions was key in me staying home as long as I did, and not being in as much pain as I expected to be at that point.)
But during the 20 minutes car ride, I was really hurting, in fact, I kept telling them that I was feeling really nauseated, and that I thought I was going to throw up. Samuel was sweet and ran a few red lights to get me there faster.
We got to the Pregnant Patient entrance and Samuel and my mom talked to one lady to check me in, while some nurse made me stand there for 10 minutes and give her my HEALTH HISTORY (SERIOUSLY? I had pre-registered, and they were making me give health history? I was so irritated, and in contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart.) Then they took me to Triage. I have never had to be in triage before. IT SUCKED. I could see all these drawn curtains with (supposed) laboring women behind them, but it was totally quiet except for the baby heartbeats that were sounding. (How were they all being so quiet? I can't figure it out.)
Of course, that silence went away when I seriously started MOANING during my contractions, and swaying and holding onto Samuel. All this and there is no nurse even coming to CHECK me. Again, I almost wanted to start screaming at them to hurry up, but they were in no hurry. FINALLY some nurse comes in (it was probably 7 minutes, but it felt like 20) and makes me lay down, which hurt, and she checked me and said I was 7 CM dilated. That was good news, but not good enough, I didn't know how long it would take me to get to 10 CM, so I just looked at her with INTENSE eyes and said, 'I WANT AN EPIDURAL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE." She looked back with big eyes and said OK! Like, she could feel what I was throwing down. I go back to my slow dancing/moaning/disturbing other laboring mothers with my pain management, 5 minutes later, two nurses come in with bags of something in their hands, and in my distress I remember thinking that maybe this was the anesthesiologist already to give me my epidural! Yay! But no. They were like, nursing students who came to put an IV in.
I DIDN'T WANT A DANG IV, I WANTED SOME PAIN RELIEF! (I forgot that you have to have like 20 minutes of IV pushed through your body before they can even give you an epidural. I couldn't talk or complain though. Before they could even start to stick me with their pokey thing, I felt the urge to bear down. And I told them. I THINK I NEED TO PUSH!
Aw, the look in their eyes was great. It was like the lightbulb turned on. Even though it had only been 5 minutes since I was told I was at a 7, apparently it was time.
The nurses snapped into action and decided to move me straight to a delivery room. They made me lie in bed to transport me (again- I'm not loving this laboring lying down thing!) and then we enter the delivery room, full of nurses. Still no doctor. I saw my postpartum nurse preparing the infant warming bed. That really stuck out to me at the moment- my baby was really almost here, and was going to be IN THAT BED in just a short while!
So all these nurses are bustling around, but without a doctor to direct me, everybody was trying to just leave me alone. Samuel was at the side of my bed. I had a few contractions, and I knew that you're supposed to pant like a dog to stop yourself from pushing. So that's what I did, and the nurses were so nice and encouraging and telling me to keep that up. I have the vaguest recollection of the nurse putting the IV in, but that was really the least of my concerns as the contractions were coming fast.
My nurse tried to check me again to see if I was at a 10, but she said she couldn't tell, because all she could feel was a "bulging bag of waters." But I did hear her say, "I don't think she's complete." I was a little worried that I was going to be stuck laboring for another hour trying to get complete, and at that point I was sure I couldn't take this pain for much longer. She also said, "As soon as that water breaks, that baby is coming out."
Finally I just said I HAVE TO PUSH (with question marks in my eyes like, what do I do?) And the charge nurse finally said, "We can't tell you what to do- but you can do whatever your body tells you." In other words- Green Light. Whew! I started pushing. And it really did feel like the biggest bowel movement ever, but it just felt so great to not fight that urge anymore! The nurses were like, 3 feet away from the bed, but kind of peering in to see what was happening, and everybody was making encouraging comments (Samuel said they could see the bulging perineum) but it was nice to feel like my pushing was going to go faster than it has in the past.
It was a totally different experience for me to push when I felt fully rested and strong and unmedicated. It was actually AWESOME. I just felt strong. Even though I was on my back (not the best position for pushing, and since I didn't have the epidural, I could have pushed in a squat or something, but it was happening to fast for me to even try to get up and move. Plus- the pushing was very effective. She was moving down. It was still hurting. The urge to push, it seems like, came every 30 seconds, but it was no problem to catch my breath and push some more. I remember saying that one of the nurses was going to have to deliver the baby, cause I couldn't hold back anymore. I gave a good strong push, and POP!! The best way I can explain it is that my water EXPLODED. It hit Samuel, but the majority of it ended up 8 feet away all over the floor. It felt cool. And sounded cool. And it was just exciting. Here's Samuel with a splattering of amniotic fluid on him. hahaha!
Just a minute later, MY DOCTOR ARRIVED! Yes! Finally! He sat on the (wet) bed to check me real quick, and said he could feel a little bit of cervix still there, so on the next contraction, he literally like, pushed it the rest of the way out of the way (does that make sense).
That was probably the MOST EXCRUCIATING PAIN I have ever felt, to have him doing that during a contraction. But the good news was, the exit was clear. I was "complete."
The doctor turned to get his smock and gloves on, and before he could even do that, I had pushed out part of the head. Samuel told me this later, but I guess he had to use part of his sleeves (covering his hands) to start to guide the head out. The nurses got excited and told me to look, but then I stopped pushing, so my Dr. reminded me to get back to focusing and pushing. And somehow he got his gloves on.
So I do remember pushing with all my might, and really GROANING as I pushed, and I also remember that instead of pubic bone pain, like I felt with Annie, it was all in my hips, which have been really sore the last week before labor. It was like I could feel them widening as I pushed her body through, but I felt like all my hip bones were popping out of socket.
Oh. And then. the RING OF FIRE! I don't remember it hurting so bad with Annie, so maybe the epidural (that had worn off) gave me a tad bit of relief, but that ring of fire, when the head is coming through, but has to sit there in between contractions. HOLY COW. I was sure I had ripped and torn in 8 places. That burned and hurt like crazy. But I was feeling excited that she was coming out so quickly. So I just kept following those urges to push, like, every 10 seconds. It seems like it was all one big, unstoppable urge to push at this point. It was really cool. My mom was snapping pictures and telling me what was happening, "She has hair! The head is out! Here come the shoulders!" And then ahhh....relief, I felt her come all the way out. Nobody said anything at the time, but Samuel noticed that Ella had the cord wrapped tightly around her neck once. Her face was dark purple. The doctor noticed of course, and Samuel saw him slip a finger under the cord right after her head came out, to help loosen it a little. Then he undwound it as soon as she was out.
(And though I can't post them, my mom captured three of the COOLEST pictures I've ever seen- one of the baby with just her head out (and cord wrapped), then one with her being pulled out, she's about 50% out of my body, and you really get to see how big you, um, STRETCH to let a baby out. And then this moment right after he pulled her out, and you can see the cool umbilical cord, which is still attached to the placenta inside me. (Sorry for anyone who doesn't like the details, but I am fascinated by all of it, so I'm including them.)
They placed her on my chest, and tried to suction her, but she wouldn't cry. This is like, one second after he pulled her out. I could see that she had some meconium stuck to her little bum cheeks, so we knew there was a little distress going on.
So since they couldn't get her to cry (it was only about 30-60 seconds it seems...but I could hear her making sounds), they decided to cut the cord quickly (Samuel did it, in fact my mom also just happened to catch this moment the second the scissors snipped the cord. She got so lucky with her haphazard picture snapping, but she caught some really amazing moments from the other side of the hospital bed.
As soon as they carried her to the warmer, she let out a big wail, and didn't stop. She pinked right up, and they cleaned her up and brought her back to me.
It was great. I was so excited that LABOR was over. And oh my goodness, I think I had the proudest husband in all the world.
Proud because his sister and mom like to go natural, but his wife--kind of a wuss about pain. He must have said 25 times, "I can't believe you did it." I never did really get him to clarify what he meant, but I know that he was really shocked that I made it without pain medication. He also couldn't believe that I, in his words, "handled it so well"- he was remembering how I completely fell apart and screamed and thought I was going to die when I was laboring with Kalia (for 27 hours, on Pitocin, and had the epidural wear off for three hours at the end- three separate hours.) I reminded him that #1, I didn't have a choice about going all natural- and that I HAD begged for an epidural in triage, and #2, that with the Kalia labor, I was on that awful Pitocin for hours, dilated to a 10 for hours, and had to cope with THAT awful (back labor) pain, and yes, it was much worse than what I had just gone through.) Nonetheless, I really appreciated his praise and adoration.
Anyway, I forgot that I had a placenta to deliver, and so the doctor turned his attention back to me after a little bit and delivered it. He had me give a little push to get it out. I don't remember doing that. And yes, I like to look at it and see the cool thing that fed my baby for 9 months. So other than my booty, which felt "like a bomb had gone off down there"- I was feeling pretty dang awesome. Not quite euphoric, like I've heard people say after going natural, but just really happy. I just loved everyone. My doctor. The nurses. My mom. My husband. My baby. Love love love. And pain in the booty mixed in there.
Then I heard the nurse ask, "Any tearing?" And he said, "No." And I think my jaw hit the ground because after feeling what I felt, I was sure there was tearing. And I tore when I had Annie, in two different places, and this baby was almost the exact same size as her, so I was just really surprised to hear that I didn't need stitches. ESPECIALLY because the doctor didn't have any time to do any stretching or prepping of that area.
As a side note, a few days before I went into labor, a girl I knew in high school had given me some tips on managing my labor and delivery- specifically, pain management tips. She had just had a successful home birth, and also had not torn- and she had shared with me that she had tried to "surrender to the pain" and keep it in perspective, and really appreciate it instead of dread it. She thought that might have made a difference in her delivery and her body letting the baby out without tearing. I think that she is on to something, and that her techniques helped me in more ways than one. Also, twice in the week before the birth, I had tried to "stretch myself" a little in the shower, but I didn't really know what I was doing, so I'm not sure if that made a difference.
So Samuel got to really hold Ella first, and she was all bundled up at that point. It was so sweet to see him snuggling her and talking to her. Finally he gave her to me so I could try to nurse her. That was a little discouraging, because she didn't show any interest in it- and she wouldn't latch. She just whimpered. I have heard that babies born without an epidural will nurse and latch extra good, right away, but that didn't happen for me.
Maybe she was too traumatized? But she just whimpered for about 5-10 minutes. She had some big 'ol forehead bruises, and blood pooled in her eyes, maybe from when my water broke, and slammed her down into my pelvis? Not sure, but one week later and she still has the blood in her eyes (enlarge this picture from a few days ago- you can see the blood in her eyes. It's not too bad though.)
Finally she did latch on though. My doctor had left at this point, after I thanked him profusely and probably told him I loved him. I really felt a lot of good emotions- love and gratitude and excitement, and happiness that I actually was able to give birth without an epidural.
I had really wanted to try a natural birth, but was pretty sure I couldn't handle the pain. I knew that as soon as the hospital "admitted" me, I would cave in and ask for pain relief. So my plan was to labor at home as long as I could take it, and hope I could get to the hospital so far along that I wouldn't even have time for an epidural. But I REALLY did not think it was going to happen exactly how I had secretly wanted. Also, did anyone notice that the baby was born the same night my mom flew in? Go back a few blog posts and read about how "I would love to have the baby that night"-- and sure enough, I did? I just felt like Heavenly Father really gave me some tender mercies with this birth- not sure what I did to deserve them.
Another tender mercy happened when it was time for them to move me to the postpartum room. I didn't get to choose the hospital where I gave birth- I had to go to the hospital closest to my doctor's office, since I was a VBAC patient. It's a good hospital, and the only complaint that maternity patients ever had (according to my research) was that the recovery/postpartum rooms were TEENY! So that was the one thing I was not looking forward to. We even sent my mom home to get some sleep, since I knew there was not going to be room for her and Samuel to stay the night.
But somehow, at that moment in time, they didn't have an open postpartum room, so they wheeled me to what the nurses call "The Penthouse"- the biggest delivery room they had, their "overflow room." It was HUGE. A big ol couch for Samuel to sleep on, plus a rocking chair, a big comfy bed, and room to spare everywhere. It ROCKED! It was just like one great surprise after another. I couldn't believe how everything was going so well.
The rest of the time in the hospital was a breeze. I had Samuel take out my IV port a few hours later, cause it was bothering me. The nurses told me to leave it in for 24 hours, but why on earth did I even need it? They could always start a new one. So Samuel took out his first IV ever. It kind of hurt. :)
The girls came to visit twice. It was a sweet reunion, and they totally loved their new sister.
Kalia's favorite thing is to be the Binky Police. She likes to put it in Ella's mouth, or "just hold it" in her hand, or sometimes, of course, I catch her sucking on it. With a super guilty expression on her face. Annie has been surprisingly cheerful and sweet. I thought she'd be the more difficult one. We'll see as time goes on.
I got a really awesome "Welcome Home"- the best I've ever had after giving birth. My next door neighbor decorated the outside of the house with balloons. And the people we're living with happened to be home this weekend (they are usually not here) and they gave me a beautiful lily bouquet. My mom and girls had gotten some mylar balloons, and Samuel gave me some gorgeous roses. It was such a fun surprise to come home to all that. (Finally Samuel caught on that a girl wants some FLOWERS after birthing a child!)
So- the recovery.
What can I even say about the recovery. It was almost like there was nothing to recover from. My bum hurt for about 6 hours. I took some Ibuprofen for it. I got up and walked around right away and felt amazing. I didn't use a peri-bottle once- I didn't even know you could give birth and come home without needing a peri bottle, or tucks, or numbing spray. And it just got even better after that. My lower back has been sore, but other than that, (and the contractions while nursing, which were pretty brutal), I have not even felt like I gave birth. I went to the grocery store yesterday, and took Ella, and people kept looking at me funny when I said she was "4 days old." And I admit- who goes grocery shopping with a 4-day old baby? Granted, my last two births have been a c-section (and postpartum infection) and a vaginal birth, with tearing, and stitches that came out and had to be put back in a few days later-- there was lots of pain, hobbling, and pain while going to the bathroom. So that made this recovery seem even more like a breeze. But wow. I think these people are onto something about the benefits of going natural- if it works out that you can do it.
Finally, I did not have back labor this time- so the labor and delivery was just that easier. I will say that if, with my next baby, I have back labor, and I know my baby is not in a "fast birthing" position, I will not try to be tough and go natural. Plus, back labor is just that much more painful, and sometimes doesn't let up. Just a note to self for future.So, now it's almost a week later. My mom has been here all week and has truly been a lifesaver. She has done EVERYTHING for me. I've just been sitting around and snuggling my baby. I can't get enough of her, and it's been so wonderful to have all this time to hold her. She sleeps all day, and has a fussy period almost every night (middle of the night.) So we're working out those kinks. Kalia and Annie are doing great with her, and aren't mauling her nearly as much as I expected. They ask to hold her once or twice a day. And they tell me as SOON as she starts crying, in case I didn't notice.
I had to drop my mom off at the airport today. She left everything in order for me- everything clean and spotless and all the laundry done, and meals made, and shelves organized, etc. etc. I had a mini-meltdown the night before she left. You know, the typical "My mom is leaving me" meltdown. The true test will come in the next few weeks as I try to manage on my own. I think Samuel will take about 5 days off to help out, and then the real trial begins.
I finally had to cave in and go to the doctor. I was almost better when the symptoms relapsed, so my mom urged me to get in to a doctor to listen to my lungs, which were very congested, as were my sinuses. He sent me to get a chest X-ray to make sure it wasn't pneumonia. And I finally caved in and started an antibiotic. And I REALLY hope this is finally the end of it. I was just so sure that it was viral- and maybe it started out that way, but it seems like it progressed into bacterial infections. I am just really hoping my baby doesn't catch anything from me.
WHEW! That was long. But now I can rest that all the details are safely recorded, and I can get back to holding my baby. Here's a few more pics that I took today. She is 6 days old and I already wish time would slow down. I absolutely love newborns in their first few weeks of life (even when they keep me awake for hours at night.) I love how they are all curled up, and smell so good, and their skin is so perfectly soft. I just wish I could keep her like this forever.
That is a $30.00 tub of Triple Paste, the best rash cream I know of. (The girls are REALLY lucky I found it on clearance for $10, but still-- it was brand new.)
